#season 1 jamie could never

[walnutmistjamie]

fave Ted Lasso moments 9/? : I was just the only one who was snoring

[viennakarma]

The Lucky One

Part 1 (of 2) | Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Summary: Formula One had been your dream and your goal ever since you were a kid, and you did all you had to in order to achieve it. Between ups and downs, Sebastian becomes a steady presence despite being your complicated frenemy relationship. Until everything comes crashing down. Formula One gives, but Formula One takes.

Word count: 6.5k

Tags: female!reader, driver reader, reader is mirrorball coded, coming of age, cursing, romance, both are assholes, smut, +18, complicated feelings, rivals to lovers, crash, major injury, medical innacuracies, bittersweet ending, not beta read

Relationship: Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Note: This is fully inspired by the song, and throughout my writing process I realized it also fits mirrorball. This one may require some tissues (especially in part 2). Everything is fictional and I mean no disrespect to Sebastian or his family (they don't exist in this story). Let me know in the comments if you wanna be tagged for part 2. Not proofread. Comments and feedback are welcomed.

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You knew from an early age that charisma could conquer the world, it was a relatively easy taught lesson back in your early karting days. Mum sat you down one day in karting, showing two other kids around. One sitting alone, quietly twinkling with his go-kart, you knew him, Jamie-something, one of the best kids in karting, and you always had fun battles with him, but he was a bit of an odd one out. The other kid mum pointed at was Nick, loud, funny and popular… not that good at karting but a really smart talker. And it showed as he was surrounded by adults and other kids, every bit of attention on him.

You were around 11 when your mum pointed out the difference between the two kids.

“What is different about them, darling?” Mum asked you.

“Jamie is alone… And Nick is surrounded by people.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know, Mama…” You said, scratching your brain to try and reply.

“Jamie is not very good with people, right? He’s a bit of an introvert…” Your mum said, quite somberly, “And Nick, he’s charismatic, see how he manages to grab everyone's attention?” As you nodded, your mum kept talking, “There are greater chances of Nick making far in motorsports, rather than Jamie.”

“But it’s not fair! Jamie is much better…”

“I know, darling… But you’ll see that motorsports is not fair at all. And unfortunately, if you really want to go far in this career, you’ll have to do everything they want and more. Being a good driver won’t be enough.”

“Why not, mama?” You asked, pouting.

“Because everybody loves pretty and everybody loves cool.”

-

Over the next few years of your teens, you learned to adapt, not only in karting, then single seaters, then Formula categories, not only as a driver, but as a person. You were fun, charming, and after a few years, it came to you easily. Laugh at his joke, that’s a sponsor. Smile at the journalists and they’ll write you as the future of motorsport. Be funny, but not too funny to the point they won’t take you seriously. Smile, but not too much so they don’t think you’re flirting. Be smart about your sport, but not too smart so they won’t feel emasculated. Take good care of your career and your every step, but don’t let them know so they won’t call you manipulative. Never be angry, never lash out, never be curt.

Nobody ever thought about you as a carefully crafted person, because even that was planned out. No one called you fake. They always thought you were that person: funny, smart and pretty like a 60’s queen.

You made it to Formula 1 at the age 23, a little late but you had accounted for that, being a woman and all. You were a damn good driver, but really it was your charm that put you there. You knew that your presence was good PR for the Federation. Look how inclusive we are!

After substituting a driver twice in the 2014 season, you were signed in 2015 for Toro Rosso, rookie you and rookie Max Verstappen, who was much younger than you. You and him got along well, but you couldn’t help but think how he got the chance to join Formula 1 much younger than you, having had almost the same career path in earlier categories. The only difference? You were a woman.

But you didn’t let that outshine your happiness of making it to Formula 1.

Soon you got in everyone’s good graces, charming your way through motorsports like you had been doing your whole career. Your first ever race as an official driver on the grid, there was this sense of relief, of making it to the ultimate dream. All that you had endured was worth it in that glorious moment.

You managed a little friendship with most drivers, getting to chat with them despite your rivalry on the track. You end up getting two podiums that season, brilliantly going down in history.

Well into your first official season, somehow the nickname “Principessa” caught on after an Italian newspaper wrote a praiseful cover article about how you managed to be classy and talented in your rookie year at Toro Rosso.

Life was a dream come true all the way to 2016, when you realized, Sebastian Vettel didn’t like you much. You thought it was just a distance thing, since you two weren’t used to talking that much. Until you overheard him talking about you with Nico, one of the drivers he was always talking to.

“I’m just not really interested…” Sebastian sounded reluctant.

“She’s really nice once you get to chat with her,” Nico said, as you hid behind a pile of tyres, “Vivian adores her, she even sent her a basket of goodies because of the pregnancy.”

“I understand. But me and her don’t click,” Sebastian mumbled, sounding annoyed.

“And why not?”

“She’s fake. A perfect PR doll, and I don’t like it.”

There was a long silence from Nico, probably shocked at the sudden harshness of Sebastian’s towards someone he had barely opened up to meet. You stood there frozen for a couple of seconds, not understanding his aversion to you.

Snapping out of it, you silently walked away without them noticing you were ever there. You couldn’t believe how, or why Sebastian could see right through you, how he could say that stuff when he had barely talked to you. But worst of all, you couldn’t understand his aversion to you, being against you.

“Having a quiet day?” Nico asked later that day, at the drivers parade as you stood a bit quieter than usual, still in your head about Sebastian’s words.

“Oh, no! Just a bit hungry!” You lied with a believable smile, “How’s Vivian?” You decided to change the subject.

Later that year, you had a great, almost competitive car, which had taken you to P3 in the championship standings, with a real, consistent chance of fighting for the championship.

Unfortunately for you, after the fourth to last race of the season, one race you had finished first place, you and part of your team were called in to talk with the representatives of the FIA because of an irregular part of your car. It was a minimal part of the livery that connected with the air vents, they said it was irregular, and despite the team showing proof that you had gained no advantage out of that, you were still punished with disqualification from that race.

It wasn’t just the problem of being DSQ, but not making points in that race meant you were out of the fight for the championship.

It felt like a punch in the face. Unjustifiable and an arbitrary decision.

After that disqualification, that came out right after the race had ended, Sebastian was the one to inherit that win, and a small part of him wanted to check on you, just because those kinds of disqualifications were a blow to the confidence of a driver.

Sebastian walked into your driver’s room and the first thing he noticed were the objects thrown around on the floor, a flipped table and chair. Chess pieces and boards on the floor, along with water bottles and towels, he looked around and you were sitting in a corner, on the floor, tears streaming down your face as you tried to wipe them with trembling hands, but the tears kept coming down.

It sent Sebastian into some sort of shock, he knew you for around three years now, and he had never seen you cry, or be angry, or even annoyed. You were always happy and bubbly… And now… It was like you were someone else, so painfully real, multifaceted for the first time.

“Hey… you-” He wasn’t even sure of what to say.

“They took my chances from me…” You said, voice trembling and a fresh stream of tears, “they did it on purpose. They did it to keep me where I am, to keep me on a leash, to not let me become a World Champion.”

“I’m so sorry…” He knelt down by your side, unsure of what to do or say.

“I did everything right. Played by their rules. I smiled, and I danced like a circus monkey, and I clapped even when I shouldn’t… I took it silently even when they threw spears at my chest. I swallowed my pride countless times to be here. I did everything right…” You knew you were rambling, to someone who probably didn’t even like you, but you couldn’t stop, the burning rage that brought tears to your eyes was stronger than anything you ever felt.

Sebastian didn’t know what to say, too shocked by the view of the real you that he could barely wrap his head around it. There was anger in your eyes, sadness, but somewhat a sprinkle of despair too. So he did the only thing his mind could think of, he hugged you. A little awkwardly, but a hug nonetheless. He felt your tears dampening his shirt, your hands fisting the material as if you were drowning and he was the only lifebuoy left. The sobs rocked your shaky frame and he held you for a long time, until someone from the team came to check on you. Then Sebastian hesitantly let go of you, despite your fingers still gripping his shirt, he pulled back, astonished.

As he left, stunned, he couldn’t even remember the reason he had gone there in the first place.

You only saw Sebastian again, the following race weekend, during media day. You were sitting on a box, drinking some water, your legs dangling in the air. You looked like you always did, bubbly, content, hair in place, light makeup…

Despite everything, and the memories being a little blurry, you didn’t forget what Sebastian had done for you. But even though the support was nice at the time, you couldn’t help but feel an immense amount of shame and embarrassment for what he had witnessed. Your mask had slipped, and you didn’t know how to proceed in this new, unknown territory.

In the end, you opted for deflection.

“Hey,” Sebastian approached you, looking slightly worried, “how…” he cleared his throat, “how have you been?” There was a silent question there, a silent approach to everything that had transpired the other day.

“Hi? Yeah, I’m alright, thanks!” You said with a bright smile, but now Sebastian could see it never reached your eyes. You hopped off the box you were sitting on, starting to walk away.

“Um- about the other day…?” Sebastian tried to breach the subject, unsure of how you would react.

“Oh, that? It was silly, just forget about it!” You kept smiling, your voice was cheerful, but your eyes betrayed that. You kept walking away, eating fruits and Sebastian ran up to you again, confused about you brushing under the rug something that was a pretty big deal.

“No, uh- how-” He wanted to think of something to say, but your smile dimmed a little bit as you looked at him.

“Let’s forget about that. And please don’t pity me.” You said with that same frozen smile and Sebastian frowned. He wasn’t pitying you, he was genuinely worried about that.

You walked away before he could say anything else. He was shocked at you dismissing so easily a full blown breakdown you had the week before. He had spent days thinking about you, not because he enjoyed any of it, he didn’t, but because he saw you for the first time. The real you. The ugly and painful parts, but it was so, so genuine, he knew that was the real you, with an honest reaction to something that hurt and upset you. He saw something he had never seen in you before, and he couldn’t get that version of you out of his head.

It was obvious you didn’t want to talk about that, or even address it. And Sebastian wasn’t going to press for answers, because in the end, he didn’t even like you particularly. He didn’t. And in the media pen, when a reporter asked you about the penalty that took you out of the championship competition, you smiled politely.

“Oh, I believe the FIA did the right thing, if I was accidentally irregular, that’s what should have been done. No complaints on my part or on behalf of my team,” You said into the mic, seeing in their faces that no one expected that response. Sebastian kept staring at you, in disbelief.

“Well, I for one,” Sebastian said after a few shocked seconds, “think that her disqualification was bullshit.”

The room burst out laughing, even you. A fake laugh, but since no one could tell, it was still a laugh. Saving your tears for some other time, alone and quiet, away from prying eyes.

Despite everything, you and Sebastian didn’t become closer, but in some way he just decided to open up to you a little bit more, as opposed to what he had been doing these past few years. He still wasn’t a friend or a close acquaintance, but he was less closed off and less short towards you. There was a silent acknowledgement of each other in public settings, a quiet nod or polite smile here and there.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that he was about to leave the hotel to go to a dinner during the week of the Malaysian GP, when he got into the elevator and as he got to the first floor, you stumbled into the small space, reeking of alcohol and makeup a little smeared. He called your name, in such shock he forgot to hop out and the elevator started going up again.

“What,” You said, holding yourself steady against the elevator wall. Sebastian was shocked, that was another facet of you, raw and belling with the persona you usually sold the world.

“Are you okay?” He asked, the elevator stopping on your floor.

“I’m fine,” you said, stumbling out of the elevator in your high heels, Sebastian couldn’t help but also step out, grabbing your arm to steady you, “I said I’m fine!” You said, drunkenly stomping your foot.

“No, you’re not. Come on, give me your key.” Sebastian said, with a voice that left no space for arguing. 

You tried to be stubborn, but he just grabbed your purse and started fumbling with it until he grabbed your key-card. Holding your arm, he guided you to your hotel suite. Once inside, he placed you sitting on an armchair, and as he knelt in front of you to remove your shoes, you plopped back against the backrest.

“No, no,” he said, tossing your heels away and pulling your arms so you’d sit up straight, “No sleeping yet, come on. I didn’t pick you for a drinker.”

“And I didn’t pick you for a nosy asshole” You snapped back.

“Well, well, well, isn’t motorsports’ favorite doll hiding a foul mouth?” He said, holding you up, guiding you to the bathroom.

“Don’t call me that!”

“Well, isn’t that what you are? We both know the truth, Principessa.” There was some bitterness to the way he said the nickname. You were not particularly fond of the nickname either, but the way he said it, with disgust, it rubbed you the wrong way.

“Why are you here?” You asked slowly.

“Why are you hammered on a Tuesday night?” He held you up, putting you on your feet and calmly leading you to the bathroom.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

Sebastian pressed his lips together at your deflection, deep down he knew. More than anyone he knew you were just pretending to be okay with being taken out of the fight for the championship. He knew you were hurting. He also wanted to tell you that wasn’t the way to go about it, but at the end of the day, you two weren’t really close.

“Get in the shower. Cold.” He said, walking out of the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

He could hear the sound of the water running, so he went to the phone and ordered soup and tea from room service. He sat down on the armchair, somewhat worried about you. He had gone through that before, but he was also four times world champion, compared to you who was just in your second year, losing the opportunity to fight for the championship for a mistake that wasn’t yours and that was completely out of your hands.

You left the bathroom dressed in a fluffy robe, face clean off of remnants of makeup. But your eyes were puffy and red, and he wondered if you were crying in the shower. He didn’t ask.

“Since you look a little more sober, I’m going. Room service will bring you something to eat and something non-alcoholic to drink.”

You sat on the couch opposite to him, feeling a little better and a bit more sober. You watched as he got up, his blue eyes never leaving yours. You had many questions. But the most important one was why he was there. Why was he taking care of you? You knew he didn’t like you, he knew you knew it too. Before you could ask any of it, he walked towards the door.

“Thank you,” You mumbled. He only nodded, not bothering to look back at you. It was a quiet murmur, but some part of you hoped he knew that thank you wasn’t about just this instance, but also the time he consoled you when no one else did.

The rest of the season, you managed to get ahold of yourself since you knew, keeping wallowing in self pity would get you nowhere. So you focused on finishing the season better. Sebastian and you also didn’t grow particularly close in the following months, despite sometimes meeting his eyes across the room. There was always this underlying tension between you, like two people that knew a secret but swore to not talk about it.

During the Prize Giving Ceremony, you were mingling with some drivers, members of the team and from the FIA. You were known for being the life of the party, usually a social butterfly, always making connections and meeting new people.

But then, you made a small pause to grab a drink and some air, sitting down on a bench, when Sebastian made his way to you, a somewhat bright smile directed to you as he crossed the room. It was the first time he had ever directed that kind of smile to you. He looked like he had drunk a little bit.

“You look tipsy,” You pointed out as soon as he stopped before you. He grinned.

“High quality champagne,” Sebastian replied, sitting on the bench beside you, raising his flute for a toast. You replied by clicking your flute against his.

You two sat in silence for a couple of minutes, watching the party in full swing.

“You’re back to your old self,” Sebastian pointed out, suddenly. But it didn’t sound like a compliment nor a critique. So you didn’t reply, unsure of what he meant.

“Well, we all do what we gotta do,” You shrugged gently, with a small smile as you turned to face him and his bright blue eyes were already on your face.

“But, you know, it’s good to remember you’re very lucky to be here,” he said.

His words made you stop, your smile fading and that almost accomplice glinting in your eyes completely disappeared. And Sebastian frowned confused, seeing the way you put up your walls again, back to the frozen, fake smile you usually gave the media.

Lucky. You hated that word. You hated how everyone used to say you got lucky to be there. You got lucky to get into Formula 1. You got lucky to be a successful driver. Rarely did anyone mention the efforts you had to put into becoming that. The early mornings training, the absurd amount of time and distance away from your family. All the metaphorical slaps you had to endure with a straight face. Then you realized, Sebastian saw you just the way everyone else saw you. You were lucky, your spot was a gift not the consequence of your efforts.

And Sebastian noticed the shift in your expression in that very moment. He hadn’t meant to offend, and he wasn’t even sure why his words had ticked you off, but he could see. He was probably the only one in that whole room who could tell the real you from your persona, mostly due to the fact that he had seen the real you a couple of times.

“Princess, I-” He started again, but you cut him off.

“Don’t.”

He watched as you stood up, gave him a polite smile and a nod, before sauntering away.

The following year, your car was improved, and even better than the year before, you were up there in the stands, and after a third of the season, you and the team knew you were a contender for the championship. You did everything in your power to be the world champion that year. Your main competitor was Lewis Hamilton. Somehow, despite the fierce battles on track, you two managed to maintain a certain level of respect outside it. Probably because you two were different kinds of minority in that sport, or because he had learned a lesson with how everything had come down with Rosberg. Funnily enough, you two had managed a somewhat friendship that very year.

You and Sebastian, on the other hand, grew more distant than ever, and you barely spoke that year. You two kept this cold, polite façade in front of the media and other drivers.

Battle after battle, the media pressure only grew on your shoulders, you weren’t just a pretty face for the sponsors to plaster your face around, you showed a real driver existed behind that persona. And it pissed some people off, just because now you were a woman playing a big man’s sport. They nitpicked every mistake you made if you had made some, or they diminished your every win if you didn’t make a mistake. Because you were lucky. You were lucky that one time Vettel DNFed. You were lucky this one time Lewis Hamilton crashed out. You were lucky your tyres were better during some overtakes. You were lucky for that good pitstop.

When you became World Champion that year, during the Mexican GP, it had all been worth it to endure. The weight of the trophy in your hands, the way you hugged it to your chest in the top step of the podium, crying as the other drivers splashed you with champagne, that was the taste of the years of dedication paying off.

The celebrations were wild, the team, some of the other drivers, everyone congratulated you. You were at a nightclub, drink in hand when suddenly Sebastian Vettel appeared out of nowhere. You supposed all drivers were invited, but you didn’t expect him to actually show up.

He walked up at you, loose shirt, messy hair and flushed face. Biting his lip to hide a smile, that genuine smile he had given you only once since you met him. And Sebastian had never seen you so beautiful. He knew you were always pretty, like you were some sort of model, but in that moment, you looked genuinely happy, and the smile you could barely contain in your face made you even more stunning than you already were.

“Congratulations, Principessa,” He smiled, stopping beside you. At that moment, you didn’t even remember that you were ever upset with him, that you had barely spoken the whole season. He remembered very well that feeling of being champion, the relief and happiness.

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry about what I said last year. I never meant to diminish you. And later on I understood why you felt upset by it.” Sebastian said, firmly. It made you feel validated, and it was nice that he had realized on his own.

“It’s okay. It’s water under the bridge.”

Sebastian nodded, understanding. You both went back to the party. And later that night you two were dancing on the dance floor with some other people. You were not physically close, more like jumping up and down and singing, facing each other, laughing. But there was that spark in each other’s eyes again, like there was a funny secret you two were keeping.

That’s how you two ended up going to his hotel, sitting silently in the back of a car, the windows a bit rolled down and the fresh air of the night hitting your faces. This silent tension that had always been brewing reached a boiling point. None of you moved or said anything, afraid of breaking the spell even on the way up to his floor. But the moment you crossed the threshold of his hotel room, you tiptoed to him, kissing him. He kicked the door shut, one arm around your waist as he pulled up to his height so he could properly kiss you. The other hand on the back of your head, pressing you further into him as if he wanted to merge with you, his lips and tongue coaxing yours open, his kiss all tongue and teeth as if he was starved for you. You two stumbled inside, but Sebastian managed to keep you upright by pressing you against a small side table, while you two laughed at his clumsiness.

When he put you down again, he reached for the back of your tube dress, tugging the zipper down, but it got stuck and he muttered a curse, which made you laugh again against his neck.

“Sorry about this,” he said, before forcefully tugging the dress, which made it rip off, and the dress fell down, pooled at your feet, leaving you naked in only your panties and shoes. He took a moment to take in your figure, humming appreciatively.

You took a step forward, removing his shirt without a second thought, followed by you also fumbling with his belt. You two were giggling when finally all clothes were out of the way and Sebastian pulled you into his arms, kissing you deeply before pushing you into the bed. His lips around your nipples as his hands teased your body, touching, groping, feeling the smoothness of your skin.

When he climbed up, holding your head so you would look at him while his fingers fucked you open, there was this deep sense of intimacy in his eyes as he watched you. Then finally, he got on top of you, holding one of your thighs up against his waist and he sank down, in one deep stroke as you two moaned. His movements were slow and hard, enjoying every little thing about you. The soft sounds you made, your dilated pupils, the way your cunt fluttered around him when he hit a particularly perfect spot.

It didn’t take you long to come, your hands around his waist, nails sinking into his back. After you did, he knelt back, pulling your legs up, ankles by his shoulders as he then went even faster with each thrust, your moans growing louder as you went careening into a second orgasm, and soon he followed behind you, biting on your ankle to muffle his groans.

“Damn…” He sighed, breathless as he plopped on the bed right beside you.

“Damn is right…” You laughed.

After that, you two got in the shower, kissing and making out like teenagers, until he bent you over the glass wall, fucking you again until you two came again, your back to his chest and his hand down your front to tease you clit.

When you two fell on the bed again, you were out like a light.

The following morning you woke up painfully early, his arms around you as you situated yourself, when you checked your phone, you realized you were late to catch your flight. So you carefully removed yourself from his arms without waking him up, stole some clothes from his suitcase since your dress was ruined, and left in a cab.

You didn’t speak about through the final two races of the season and not at all during winter break. A small part of you had expected him to say something about what had happened. You were not sure what.

As the new season started the following year, the underlying tension between you now had a new kind of meaning behind it. Since you couldn’t look at each other and not think of that night. Of his hands tightening on your ass, of your nails scratching his back.

You decided to leave it all behind, focusing on the season and trying to strike that second consecutive championship. It was hard, it wasn’t that your car was bad, per se, but it was unreliable. Sometimes you were about to win a race when it suddenly had some sort of malfunction or some kind of shut down that had you DNF a race you should’ve won. Despite that, you made the best of it, achieving a couple of podiums and eventually, your first win of the season.

That night, you met with Sebastian again, the first real conversation ever since what had happened the year before. 

“Congratulations on the win,” He said with a smile.

“You too, congrats on the win last week.”

And just as the first time, soon you two were wrapped around each other in the elevator, lost in a desperate kiss. Kisses and giggles as you made your way stumbling to your hotel room. This time, he had you bent over the bed, hands on the mattress as he knelt down eating you out for the life of him until you had come fisting the sheets, then he got up and fucked you from behind.

You two laid on the bed, breathless and with a thin layer of sweat as he pulled you closer, a palm over your stomach, tracing all dips and curves lazily.

“Here we are again,” Sebastian whispered, and you looked at his eyes, shining blue and flushed face.

“Seems like we keep coming back for more…” You pointed out, with a laugh.

He was about to say something when his phone rang, and he found his jeans and picked up the call. You just watched as he started speaking on the phone, quickly grabbing his clothes and starting to dress up again.

“I’m sorry,” He said after finishing the call, buttoning up his pants, “We have a photoshoot to do, and I had completely forgotten about it.”

“It’s fine,” You said, sitting up on the bed.

He paused for a moment, looking at you all naked and debauched on the bed, looking especially delicious. Sebastian wished at that moment he could have taken a picture to keep with him forever while you looked like a goddess. He just pecked your lips, deep and fast, before scurrying off. A stupid smile in both of your faces that you couldn’t see.

Weirdly enough, you didn’t talk about that again. It was like you were two different people in other settings, but back in the motorsport world, you had no opening or desire to be that two people that stole kisses in hotel rooms. But the silent glances were still there, a knowing look exchanged. You didn’t grow any closer out of those brief moments in space and time.

As the season progressed, you got a somewhat grip on the car, even reaching second place in the standings for the WDC.

Your encounters with Sebastian also kept happening, at least once a month. You didn’t talk much about the nature of your relationship, about what it meant, or why it kept happening. It felt like you two were always focused on making the most of the little time you had. One of you would always leave in the middle of the night or early in the morning, without waking up the other, like a silent agreement.

Still, you had a growing feeling that Sebastian didn’t like you outside those fleeting moments. And you knew that those things could happen, you could have great bed chemistry and still not be friends or not particularly be fond of someone. Just sex. It was what you told yourself every time you had to see him be cold and distant during race weeks. You couldn’t help but remember those few years back when he called you a perfect PR doll in a conversation. The harshness in his voice when he talked about you that day still haunted you sometimes.

It all came to a head after you won consecutively the three races in the triple header, and the media was eating that up. But unfortunately, Sebastian had two DNFs and a qualifying so awful that he only managed to finish the last race P8. During the following media day, which had both of you in the same panel, you were asked some questions regarding your recent wins and the perspective of the championship. After replying, there was a small scoff that Sebastian’s mic caught.

“Anything to add to her reply, Sebastian?” The journalist asked.

“No, nothing much…” Sebastian scoffed, “I mean, with Red Bull’s rocketship, winning is what’s expected of it, no?”

The words hit you like a punch, and it took a herculean effort to keep a straight face and seem unaffected. But the wave of silence and tension that followed was enough to show that everyone had caught that jab. Lewis even muttered a disappointed “man…” to Sebastian, away from the mic.

You didn’t look at Sebastian again during that conference, but at that point he could tell your real smile from the fake one. He could see the discreet clench of your jaw and he knew deep down that he had fucked up massively.

That’s why that weekend after the race, one you had placed P3, he went to your motorhome before leaving the paddock, knocking on the door quickly. He waited for you to open the door, hoping and praying you had not left yet. When you finally did, dressed in casual clothes, probably about to leave, he could see the surprise on your face that you had not expected to see him there. You looked around to check if anyone was seeing that before pulling him inside.

“What do you want? Be quick.” You said, finishing packing your bag and barely looking at him.

“I’m sorry about what I said during media day. That was fucked up.” He said, carefully.

“Oh, fuck off, Sebastian…” You scoffed, “we both know you just said what has always been on your mind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He frowned.

“Don’t play dumb now, Sebastian. Everyone knows. I know and so do you.”

“Know what?” He frowned, taking a step closer.

“That you hate me!” You exploded, turning to face him.

“Is that what you think?!” He asked, offended, “You think I’d have sex with someone I hate?”

“It never stopped anyone before…” You said, rolling your eyes, “Let’s be honest here. All the secrecy, all the never talking about it, never calling or texting before or after… I’m just the ‘Perfect Fake PR doll’  that you don’t like.”

As soon as the words came out of your mouth, Sebastian frowned, but after a few seconds he remembered that he had said those exact words about you, with such annoyance and disgust. That was farthest from the truth, and he couldn’t dare to repeat those words now that he had seen so many raw, genuine parts of you.

“Listen, I just…” He sighed, “I just hate all this fakeness you sell. All this acting and playing a part.”

“It is survival!”

“Survival?” He scoffed, not buying your words, “you pretend to be someone you’re not to appease the world.”

“You wouldn’t ever know what this is about, Sebastian. You’re Formula One’s dream man. You’re the straight white guy they want, the perfect image for motorsports. Be fucking real with me. Do you think if I had half the attitude you do, I’d be treated like you? No, I’d be ostracized,” You said, eyes shining in defensiveness, like he was the enemy you had to pretend to, “I will do what I can to stay here. I do what I can to still have a seat and a career here. Everything I do, is to be perfect, to appease the audience, the sponsors, the FIA, everything, and I still have to deal with misogyny. I still have to hear people saying I should go back to the kitchen. So no, I won’t change.” It was like a dam had broken and you had to put out everything you felt, every pain you had regarding that.

Sebastian sighed, scratching his head. He had fucked up even more, because it had never gone through his head any of that. He had never thought of the backlash you must face, being a woman, about the difficulties to fit, to be accepted in an environment heavily made of older white men that liked things to stay the way they were.

“You got to see the real me, I let myself be vulnerable and genuine with you. God knows the reason why you have seen me more than anyone else has. And you get out there with your full chest implying that I’m winning because of the car, when you know the car has been unreliable and I’m bending over backwards to make this shitbox win races…” Your voice was shaken but you refused to let him see you cry again. That had become ammo in his arsenal one time, you wouldn’t repeat the same mistake again.

“I…” He stuttered like he had just been hit with that knowledge, ashamed that he had never stopped to think about any of that.

“You can hate me all you want, Sebastian. You can tell me you’d rather me be genuine, but I need to wear armor. Out there? I’ll still be the PR Doll you like to call me if it means I get to stay.”

“Principessa, I’m just so-” He started but you cut him off again.

“Just get out, Sebastian. This,” you pointed between you two, “was a mistake to begin with. We both know where we stand with each other.”

“I don’t hate you.” He said, suddenly.

“Right. You need to go.” You rolled your eyes.

“I need you to believe me in this. I don’t hate you.” He repeated, slowly, blue eyes pleading.

“Leave, Sebastian.” You said, not leaving room for argument. He took two steps back, knowing he wasn’t going to get through to you at that moment.

“I don’t hate you,” He said one last time, before turning around and leaving.

Let me know in the comments if you wanna be tagged for part 2!

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk? | Part 4 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 18.2k

A/N: It's finally here oh my lord. Once again so sorry my writing takes so long these days but I'm so excited about this chapter. Thank you for the suggestions I got after I dropped the teaser, really appreciate all the help and it got my mind back into writing mode again. After this there's only one part left, but its going to be fun so don't fret. Really hope you enjoy this part, please let me know what you think. Thank you so so much for reading. Enjoy x

| My Masterlist | 

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

The run up to Christmas was fun. Fucking Alex every other day of the week had been a surprisingly needed stress relief that a month ago you would have never foreseen. Usually the run up to Christmas had you stressed for no reason in particular but this year with your stresses finally being relieved every other night it was so much better than other Christmas breaks you’ve had in a long time. 

Alex had certainly been making the most of your arrangement. It was him texting or calling you asking, “Are you free tonight?” Which may as well be directly translated to ‘Do you want to fuck me tonight?’. Every single time you said yes, not depriving yourself of such simple pleasures and it led to you having a very relaxed holiday season. 

And now Christmas is over and done with, you were excited for tonight’s New Year’s party. So much so that you couldn’t sit at home and just wait to get ready, you ended up texting Katie and asking her if you could help her set up and thankfully she said yes. 

For the past hour you’ve been listening to music and hearing the Cook's Christmas stories of Forest getting all excited when he opened each present. She showed you a couple of videos before Jamie took the little man out for the afternoon while you both got the house ready for tonight. 

Your catch ups are the best and you adore your best friend so much. The gossiping and the giggling never ceases and you’re forever finding new things to talk about, it’s a miracle you’ve not discovered everything there is to know about each other after a decade of being best friends. 

But it turns out there are some things you are yet to discover. Like a certain holiday that was being planned. 

“You’re coming on the impromptu trip away with us, right?” Katie asks, a little out of the blue as if she’s just remembering as she unpeels the Happy New Year banners from each other and handing one to you. 

“Depends, when?” You tell her, knowing the dates of this trip will be the deal breaker if you can go, “I’m back in work on the ninth, remember?”

You’ve joined the Cooks on impromptu trips away before, both with their family and their friends. You’re always invited, which you find thoughtful of Katie and knowing that these trips tend to be very random, you’d started saving money for such events so you didn’t find yourself missing out. The only time you denied yourself was when the trips clashed with work which you hope isn’t the case this time. 

“Oh, we come back on the seventh.” Katie grins, very pleased with what you’ve just said, “You’re coming.” 

“Yeah,” You find yourself giggling at her, knowing she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway. You continue putting up the party decorations as you tell her, “Just let me know how much it is and I’ll scramble it together.”

“Oh no, Alex is paying for us all,” She tells you, as she seems to be having a hard time stretching the balloons out to start blowing them up, “You just need spending money.” 

You immediately frown hearing that, bluetacking the banner on the wall and turning towards your best friend to ask, “What?”

“Alex is paying.” She tells you, “It’s for his birthday. Has he not told you about it yet?”

“No, he’s not mentioned it.” You tell her. 

You figure it’s best to neglect mentioning how the singer only talks to ask how you are before he ends up saying the filthiest things into your ear as he fucks you senseless. Holidays and other things normal friends would talk about are not on the cards. 

He comes over. You fuck. He leaves. Interaction complete. 

“Oh well, he probably expected me to ask you.” Katie shrugs, not thinking much of it, “But yeah don’t worry about the money, he’s paying.”

You’ll see about that, you think as you continue helping your best friend decorate, putting the singer out of your head for the time being. 

~*~*~*~

I need to speak to you 

You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want. 

Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back. 

Christ

Am I in trouble? x

His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit. 

You’re not funny 

Phone me when you’re free. 

Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later. 

After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”

“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”

You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday. 

“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”

You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him. 

“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”

Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”

“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”

“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals. 

“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”

Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”

You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you. 

“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”

“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.” 

You almost scoff. 

You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir. 

Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”

And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable. 

“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.  

“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already. 

He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance. 

You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”  

“Well, it’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”

“But-“ You start but then stop yourself. 

Alex immediately questions, “But what?”

He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.

You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence. 

But that silence speaks volumes. 

“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours. 

“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for ten years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.” 

“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle. 

“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.” 

You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it. 

Only after your laughter subsides, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?” 

“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.” 

“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”

“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”

You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice. 

“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat. 

“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk. 

You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.” 

He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.” 

“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”

“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”

You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again. 

“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.” 

He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship. 

Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”

“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open. 

Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!

You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”

“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.” 

You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago. 

“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”

In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months. 

Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up? 

“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.” 

You nod even though he can’t see you, “I know.”

“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.” 

You frown, confused, “What?”

“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable. 

“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute. 

“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny. 

You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”

“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”

You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”

“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought. 

You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”

Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”

“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”

Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”

“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head. 

You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet 

“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue. 

Idiot Y/N. 

“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now. 

Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 2nd 2019 ~*~*~*~

The Alps are absolutely mesmerising and you could stare at the snow covered mountains for days. The trip was certainly worth every single ounce of effort and you know you’ll be eternally grateful to Alex for him bringing you all here. 

You’re sure when you first got here you looked like a child in a toyshop. The views are absolutely stunning and you know for a fact that your jaw was agape as you took in the breathtaking scenery around you. 

So much so that Alex turned you towards him at one point and pushed your jaw back up and quietly teased, “Don’t let anyone else see those pretty lips parted like that, don’t want people getting ideas.”

Needless to say, you flushed hearing that and Alex wasn’t subtle about the way he let his smirk take over his face. And then he left you hanging, sauntering off to join Miles, Nick, and Jamie walking just in front of you, leaving you to catch up with Katie, Kristen, and Flo who all joined you for the holiday. 

Alex leaving you like this hadn’t been the only time since you’d woken up early today though. He’d been a tease since he picked you up to take you to the airport, asking if you’d recovered from the previous nights activities where he all but folded you into a pretzel and fucked you until you came on his cock. 

That wasn’t the beginning or end of your antics after the party, he’d teased you at Katie’s party, getting you in the mood and ready for him when he pulled you to a quieter bit of the party and pushed you against the wall to kiss you, taking away any sense but him. And he did it every time to leave you wanting more only for him to pull away and leave you to your own devices for a while. 

So you were desperate when it got to 3am and he was practically pulling you down the road so you could get back to your house. And he certainly did show you a good time until you practically passed out from the exhaustion. 

You woke up late the next morning to a glass of water and some painkillers on your bedside table along with a note that read, Hope you’re not too sore sweet x

It wasn’t hard to guess he probably felt a hint of guilt how far you’d both gone the night before. In the heat of the moment he said somethings about him wanting you to remember him, the feel of him inside you, over the week that you were both away. 

He kept making you regret the no sex on holiday rule. Alex kept saying how you'd be begging him to take you when you got back home, how you’d not be able to walk properly by the time he’d finished with you after a week of not touching him the way he knows your filthy mind craves him.

You're ashamed to admit that your thoughts about him are sometimes so dirty they belong down the gutter. He’d certainly made a good job of having you long for him. 

You try not to admit to yourself that you crave him. That when he decided that he was the one that was going to be sitting next to you on the plane and not Flo, you were happy. Not because you had any issue with Flo, no she was such an amazing friend to you, but because it was Alex. And he wanted to sit beside you. 

The little shit that he was though teased you the whole journey. You were still tired so when you sighed and closed your eyes once you’d relaxed after the take off, Alex whispered into your ear, “Did I work you too hard sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as you feel yourself flush knowing he was to do with your fatigue. 

You slept in a little on New Year’s Day after you’d taken the painkillers he’d left out for you, but then your day was spent packing for this trip, figuring out what you’d need and calling Katie to double checking on if you’d need going out clothes and doing a checklist of the skiing things you actually own. 

By the time you went to bed it was 11pm and that was far later than you should have been going to sleep because you had to be up at 3am to get ready. So it was do to Alex fucking you hard and long enough on New Years and the fact you had so little sleep last night that you were tired on the plane. 

Next, he’s disturbing your attempt at sleep by him putting his hand on your thigh and leisurely trailing his hand up and down, mixed with him occasionally squeezing. He keeps an eye on your reaction to him, you going stiff for a few seconds and him taking great pleasure in saying, “I’ve done worse than putting my hand on your thigh, sweet.”

“Not in public or daylight.” You huff and try to get yourself comfy enough to get sleepy. 

Looking out of the window just has you mesmerised so after a few minutes you just end up looking around the plane. It's just you and Alex sitting beside each other and for some reason you’re not all that close to your friends. 

Katie, Kirsten, and Flo are all on one row, about 4 seats ahead of you, and Miles, Jamie, and Nick are on the row behind them. You’ve got no idea why you’re so far away from them with the gap of strangers in front of you, but you guess things could be worse. You could be sitting alone or worse, you could be at home feeling like you’re missing out. 

There’s a stranger beside Alex so you’re glad you took the window seat and the views of sun rising through the clouds were amazing. You genuinely wish you weren’t as tired as you were so you could appreciate them fully. 

Instead you’re feeling uncomfortable and whichever way you lean your head isn’t helping you relax. If it's against the wall of the plane you can feel the vibrations, just leaning back does nothing to help and if you do fall asleep like that you’re not risking possibly snoring because your jaw is hanging open, and if you let your head fall forward that’s not good for your posture, not to mention painful. 

Maybe it’s you wriggling in your seat that gives you away, considering his hand is still on your thigh, but Alex seems to pick up on your discomfort easily. 

“You can lean on me to go to sleep, you know?” Alex tells you with a smile, nodding down to his shoulder just beside you. 

“What,” You hold back your sigh but let him know that you’re not all that impressed with his offer after his previous antics, “So you can just try to wake me up even more?” 

“Come on sweet.” Alex chuckles, rubbing your thigh again before squeezing it. “Not my fault you’re not finding it relaxing.”

Pretending that him gripping your thigh didn’t give you flashbacks to the other night, you keep your voice quiet as you raise your eyebrows accusingly, “Because you’re trying to be a tease.”

“And it’s working.” Alex smirks, clearly knowing whatever your tells are by now, he gestures to the back of the plane, “Wanna go to the bathroom?” 

Its a mixture of shock and being entirely unimpressed that has you asking, “Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely not.” Alex grins, holding his chuckle as he asks, “We’re not on holiday yet, technically. We could go again if you're not feeling satisfied enough before we land?” 

You don’t dignify him with an answer, you just shake your head and look away from the tease. While the thought of him fucking you and you having to be quiet because others are around seems like quite the thrill, the mere thought of doing so in a public aeroplane has you wanting gag. 

“What?” Alex fakes his hurt, nonchalantly following up with, “I know you can get horny just after you’ve woken up.”

Your head whips back to him, narrowing your eyes as you scold, “You’re being loud.” 

He wasn’t. His voice was just above a whisper. But the mere fact you were on a plane with the possibility of anyone around you eavesdropping has you getting all embarrassed and flustered in an instant.

“Sorry,” Alex barely holds back his grin. “I’ll be subtle about it when I take you in the bathroom.”

Instead of scowling, you lean your head back on the seat, close your eyes, and take a deep breath so you don’t end up smacking him. Taking a few seconds to calm your anxiousness down and try not to let his joking get you too embarrassed when you know he isn’t trying to be malicious, you just stay like that silently. 

But Alex disturbs your peace, “You don’t have to think about it so intently Y/N/N, we can just do it.”

“No.” You look at him again, and say even quietly to try and further your point, “Not to mention everyone would see.”

Alex can’t help but take that though as you just don’t want to right now. In such a public setting. That’s not you saying that you’d never be ready to join the mile high club.

“Oh okay, remind me to take you on a private jet.” Alex squeezes your thigh again, before winking, “They mind their business on those.” 

You’re lost for words for a brief moment. Taking in exactly what that means, and you end up half frowning. 

“Way to persuade me.” You scoff, “Telling me you’re already in the mile high club.” 

Sarcasm is thick in your voice as you say, “Such a turn on.”

The singer can’t help but smirk though, “Don’t be jealous now, sweet.” 

After that, Alex seems to give you a break from his endless torment. He takes his hand from your thigh as he reaches down to his bag by his feet and takes out the word search book he bought himself in WHSmiths at the airport. Finally you feel like you can relax and sleep for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. 

Or you hoped so anyway, but it seems the vibrations of the plane's wall just wanted you conscious. So it was with a huff you leant back against the headrest once more. 

“Just,” Alex sighs and he picks his hand up to cup the side of your face to gently push your head on his shoulder. 

Instant comfort was an understatement compared to the wall and the seat. But you still felt weird about it. 

You tell him with a sigh, “I don’t want to annoy you.”

“You don’t annoy me at all, Y/N/N.” He dismisses immediately, paying you no more attention after saying, “Go to sleep.”

And so you did. You got a good hour’s sleep and you think it was only when the plane started to make a steady descent that your body woke you up as a result of the decrease in altitude. But you woke up gently and slowly, and you realised you were still on Alex’s shoulder long before you opened your eyes. 

You found yourself not wanting to move. The woody scent of his aftershave leaves you in a little trance all the time and you never want to bring yourself out of it. So you just blinked your eyes open slowly and told your body not to even twitch to give away that you were awake. 

And Alex didn’t notice because you now see he’s entirely too engrossed in his book. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.

A true classic, you can’t help but tiredly smile as you see he’s about to get to one of your favourite bits of the book. You following pretty easily for a few pages because he’s holding the book open practically as far as it can go (you’re so tired you can find it in yourself to shudder at the fact the book will definitely have a cracked spine) in one hand, and you only noticed when he turned the pages that his other had gone back to gently resting on your thigh.

Everything is good for about 5 minutes, but then the singer started reading too fast for you at one of your favourite bits, so you end up having to say a quiet, “Go back,” 

“What?” You feel Alex turn his head towards you a little, his jaw gently nudging your head but you don’t make a single effort to move.

“Hadn’t finished the page,” You tell him and Alex can’t help but smile as he turns the page back for you.  

His only indication that you’re ready to move on is the slight nod of your head and Alex even angles the book towards your direction a little more so you can both read. He smiles at the way you haven’t attempted to move from his shoulder at all, seemingly quite comfy. 

You both continue reading together for the next few pages until the same thing happens again where Alex turns the page too soon. This time you whine a little as you whisper, “Too fast.”

“Not had you complain about my speed before.” Alex can’t help but tease when the opportunity is right there for the taking, but all it earns him is a poke in his side which makes him jump and he just about peers down at you seeing you smiling victoriously.

After this you fall into a rhythm of you nodding slightly when you're ready for him to turn the page. It doesn’t bother Alex at all, no it's the opposite, he finds you endearing that you’re both enjoying his book and reading it at the same time. 

The both of you become entirely engrossed in Jane Eyre’s world that you barely even acknowledge that the plane is just about ready to land. It’s only when the air hostess’ voice fills the plane as they announce over the tannoy that you’d be landing shortly, does Alex close the book. 

At the same time you reluctantly pick your head up from his shoulder, Alex offers as he taps the book, “Can borrow it after me if you want?” 

“I’ve already read it, I just love that part you’re on.” You hum, smiling at him in earnest, “Thank you though.”

And both of you know you’re not just saying thank you for that offer, but thank you for allowing you to fall asleep on him. 

The transfer to the resort even had you in awe. But when you got to the hotel and you entered your room, you were blown away by your view. 

The white mountains are stunning and you were so glad you brought your camera. This was something you definitely didn’t want to ever forget. 

The air felt like ice on your skin as you took your pictures, the bitter cold making you want to jump into the private hot tub you have on your balcony. 

You restrain yourself, saving that for later, you opt for a hot shower to settle you after that flight and you end up falling asleep in the warmest queen sized bed. 

You all meet downstairs a few hours later where you get some food and decide that you’re going to all get ready to hit the slopes, you all opting for the red runs for today. They were so much fun and with you skiing, you just find yourself in awe of Flo on her snowboard flying past you all. 

It’s a fun few hours, with you all stopping half way down the slope at one of the cafes on the mountain where you all have a hot coffee, and the lads follow it up with a beer. The lads head off before the rest of you, wanting to be speed demons and race down the rest of the way which you’re all fine with. 

You know Flo will inevitably end up beating them down anyway. Which she of course did. 

Before you set off though, you girls decide that after dinner you’re all going to have a little hot tub party. So that’s how you’re now sinking in the hot tub on your balcony, Katie already in after beating you to being the first. 

You just laugh at her rushing in there to beat you, as you take off your hotel dressing gown to reveal your dark green bikini. Katie says she loves the colour of yours as you glance back around at her and tell her you adore her maroon one. 

But it’s when you step into the tub that Katie gasps, loud enough for you to pause as you stand in the pool of bubbling water. 

“What are they?” Katie points to your thighs with wide eyes. 

Your bruised beyond belief thighs. Dark, almost purple bruises that litter the tops of your thighs which were left by the mouth of the singer next door. 

“Y/N!” Katie yells, her jaw dropped as she looks at the assault on your skin, “What the fuck?” 

“Katie, stop looking at me.” You get all flustered and embarrassed so you're about to sit down, but your best friend grabs your hips to stop you so she can look at the dark marks for longer. 

“Oh my fucking god.” She shakes her head, too shocked by the sheer amount of them. “It’s hard not to when you have those on your thighs Y/N!”

“Please stop, can we just pretend you didn’t see them.” You pry yourself out of her grip and finally immerse yourself into the hot water, loving the chill dissipating from your body. 

“No, I want the gossip.” Katie grabs her glass of prosecco you’d poured her and left on the side of the tub along with yours and the other girls that were meant to be coming shortly. “How’s it been going between you two?” 

“Fine.” You nod with a coy smile as you reach for your glass. 

Your best friend shakes her head, “I’m not settling with fine.” 

“It’s good.” You take a long sip of your drink, knowing you’ll need it if you’re having this conversation, “I guess he keeps me on my toes.”

“In what way?” She prys. 

You think about how to word your feelings for a second. The sound of the jets humming in the cold air fills the brief silence until you end on, “I’m still not used to having a booty call or being one. I still get a text off him and it throws me... He still makes me nervous.”

“That’s good though.” Katie hums and nods, “He’d be boring if he didn’t make you nervous.”

“Yeah, I guess.” You nod in agreement. 

But your best friend enquires, “He’s not making you nervous in general now, right? Just when he comes on to you?”

“No, it's a lot better.” You explain honestly, sinking into the water a little more. “But I’m still not at ease if that makes any sense. I still find him difficult to read.”

“That just comes with time.” Katie nods, understanding you entirely, “When you start spending more time with him, you’ll figure it out.”

“Well that doesn’t really happen,” You mumble a little but seeing as she heard you and noting that sparkle in her eye for the gossip, you explain, “He sort of just shows up and we fuck and then he leaves.”

Katie frowns a little at that though, “Thought he took you out?”

“That was just until I felt more comfortable around him. We’ve not carried that on.” You almost cringe when you say, “We’re just shagging now.”

“And how’s that going?” Your best friend smirks, “The bruises seem like a good sign.”

You sigh, “Yeahhh.” taking another sip of your drink. 

“What was that sigh for?” She calls you out. 

You try to pass it off immediately, “Nothing.”

But she’s not having any of it, “S’not nothing, come on.”

“He was just a tease on the plane but he’s doing it on purpose.” Your cheeks heat up a bit as you tell her. 

“Getting you ready for later.” She grins and gives you some teasing suggestive eyes herself. 

You gently shake your head, “I don’t think so.”

“Oh?” Katie raises her eyebrows, “What does that mean?”

Oh fuck. 

“Don’t make me explain Katie.” You pout. 

She pushes you, “Come onnnn.”

You just sigh in defeat and say, “We’re not doing that right now.”

“Excuse me?” Your best friend is now even more confused. 

“You heard me Kate.” You sigh, closing your eyes not wanting to explain yet another of your stupid thoughts to her. 

For clarity’s sake she has to ask, “Weren’t you with him twice last week?”

“We shagged on Boxing Day and then the 28th and New Years.” You tell her. 

And it occurs to you that you’ve probably not been this active on a regular basis since you were in your late teens. Either you or Alex clearly has the sex drive of a teenager and with the state of your thighs, you think it’s more likely Alex. 

Glancing at the bruises again you can almost feel the ghost of his mouth there. You fall into the daze of remembering the way his lips attacked the tops of your thighs as he fingered you to edge you, not letting you finish until you were begging to have his tongue instead.  

He toyed with you, saying his mouth was already on you, sucking your thighs that bit more before biting them making you whine. But you were desperate to have him eat you out. Have his tongue tease and flick your clit in the way he knows makes you lose your mind. 

And he wouldn’t give in. Not until you were on the edge for the third time, right on the verge of getting bratty with him and making the right decision he compensated by eating you out until you came twice on his tongue. And the way he fucked you afterwards, god, you wish-

“And he’s not touched you since?” Katie’s question shocks you back to reality. 

You blink a few times, and shake your head, “No.” 

She smirks, almost trying to hide it behind her glass, “I bet you’re losing your mind.”

“I feel like it.” You hum, nodding. 

Katie asks, fully ready to big you up to go and knock on his door after your girls prosecco party, “Don’t you want him to touch you?”

“I want nothing more at the minute.” You tell her honestly, “But we’re not doing it until after the holiday.”

She frowns, completely confused, “Why?”

Surely on holiday is on of the best places to fuck? Why wouldn’t you be doing that? Katie can’t help but think. 

“Because he knew I felt uncomfortable about him paying for me to come and I was worried he’d expect something from me.”

“Y/N.” Her face falls and then she gently scorns you, “He’s not like that.”

“I know he isn’t Katie. But you know how my mind works. It worries me.” You shrug, not really being able to help it. 

“Well I thi-“ Katie starts but is interrupted by Florence appearing at the door of your balcony. 

“Hey,” You grin, very thankful for the conversation being cut short. 

Hopefully never to be brought up again. 

“Flo,” Katie smiles and waves her over, “Come in.”

The gorgeous woman walks out and hangs her dressing gown up before running to the tub to escape the chilly air. After commenting on how much both you and Katie like her black, glittery bikini, the artist asks you both, “What were we talking about?”

You try to think of something quickly to change the subject entirely but your best friend gets in there first and grins, “Just how Y/N/N is sleeping with Alex now and she’s seeing if she can go the holiday without.”

You might drown yourself in this hot tub. Can you get any more embarrassed today? 

Flo’s smile is huge as her head whips around to you in shock. You can tell she’s happy for you, presumably for Alex too, but she shocks you when she tells you, “Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.”

You’re so beyond confused by that statement until Katie’s eyes go wide as she gasps, “Fuck, I always forget about you two.”

You blink a few times as you hear her tell Katie that it’s understandable she’d forget because it was before her and Jamie got together. But you’re still in shock, you have to get the clarification, “You and Alex?”

You hope it doesn't sound like you’re annoyed because you’re not, no one even Alex has to tell you anything about this and clearly Flo just found out about yours and her ex’s rendezvous. You’re just confused, clearly Katie forgot but you’ve not even heard any jokes about it or any mention of it before now. 

“Yeah, a long time ago.” Flo nods and is quick to explain as she grabs her glass of prosecco. “Lost our virginities to each other back in college, but started seeing him years later.”

She continues to explain with a roll of her eyes, “But the idiot was seeing me at the same time as Alexa back on their Favourite Worst Nightmare tour so I held my tongue for about a week until I blew up and called him out in front of all the lads…” She adds quickly, “It got ugly.”

It makes your chest go tight. He did that to one of his best friends years ago, and he did to his girlfriend of three years last year. 

You're sincere when you say, “I’m so sorry.”

You feel almost embarrassed to be sleeping with him now. Especially when you’d consider Flo a friend of yours, even before this trip, when you spoke to her about her artwork that she creates at various parties you’ve both attended. She’d always been lovely to you and made you feel entirely at ease. 

And now you’re sleeping with her ex. You need the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

“Don’t be, it worked out well in the end.” It seems that the artist can’t keep the smile off her face as she finishes her story, “I went to Manchester and Matty and my cousin, Adam, got me through it. And when the time was right and I was healed, Matty asked me out and now we’ve been together for a decade.” Her grin is huge as she proudly tells you, “Married for three and a half years.”

It’s impossible to not be happy for her, her love for her husband shining through so brightly. But you can’t help but ask her, “Why are you still friends with him? Alex, I mean.” 

You can’t imagine anyone betraying your trust that much and being close friends with them years later. 

“Oh, it took a long while and a lot of grovelling on his part. But after two years of barely speaking to him, and with how happy I was with Matty, I forgave Al and now we get on like nothing ever happened.” Flo explains, “I see the other lads too often to let it continue for a lifetime of awkwardness.”

She’s a better person than you. You could never. 

You think out loud. “The lads didn’t know he was two timing you?” 

“No,” She shakes her head, taking a sip of her drink before saying, “They were as shocked as me when Alexa showed up. Only Miles knew, and covered for him.” 

You shake your head, seeing Miles in a completely different light now. But you guess if you’re judging Alex by how he’s only been with you, you have to do the same with Miles. 

“You’re too good. I would never forgive either of them for that.” Katie gives her two cents on the situation. 

“I’ve been told that a lot. By Alex himself too... But despite last year's shit show, he has changed.” Flo assures you, but then smirks, “So enjoy him, queen.”

You sink into the water a bit more, entirely awkward about the way both women are smirking at you. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s good.” Flo giggles, “God only knows that if I didn’t call him out to everyone I would have a hard time choosing between him and Matty.” 

You’re glad she’s such a lovely person and she eases you entirely. 

“Good job you’re married then.” You joke, which makes Katie also spit out her drink laughing and Flo giggles before clinking her prosecco glass with yours. 

“You should see her thighs.” Your best friend laughs. 

You shoot her the dirtiest look, “Katie!”

~*~*~*~ 

Thankfully by the time Kristen arrived the subject of you and Alex had long since been dropped. 

Flo saw your thighs and she told you about how she thinks the man will never truly grow up because he left lots of love bites on her boobs when they lost their virginities, and mercifully after that, the subject moved away and the four of you are now just chilling and listening to your a playlist that’s blaring through your phone. 

You were all giggling at nothing in particular when you got startled by two men at the balcony door. Alex and Jamie come outside in their trunks and Jamie is the one to scoff, “You all thought you could have a party without us.”

Jamie practically jumps in and sits himself down between Flo and Katie, but your attention is drawn to Alex who sinks in beside you and you half find yourself wanting to scurry over to Katie. 

He looks too good. Last time you’d seen him shirtless you were drunk and your memory hazy, but he looks so fucking good and his toned abdomen and his trunks low enough for you to clearly see that V line down to- Stop. 

Stop. 

Thankfully Alex doesn’t seem to notice the way you get a little bit more tense with him beside you. Instead he immediately asks Flo, “How’s Matty, angel?” 

“Yeah he’s good, thanks Shakespeare.” Flo smiles, and despite not understanding her nickname for him, you happily listen in to distract yourself. 

Maybe it’s to do with the Macbeth reference in If You Were There, Beware? You can’t help but wonder. Maybe you’ll ask her later. 

The singer can’t help but ask curiously, “Why didn’t he join us again?” 

“Tour rehearsals.” The artist informs him, “His UK tour starts on the ninth.”

“Fair enough,” Alex nods, clearly completely understanding the situation Flo’s husband finds himself in. “I’m glad we aren’t back on the road till late Feb now.” 

“Bet you are.” Flo smiles at him but when he tunes into Jamie’s conversation, her eyes flick to you and she smirks. 

You sink even further into the water. 

Despite Alex now being beside you, you try not to let your nervous energy take over.  No, instead you carry on as normal and have some of the funniest conversations with the people around you. You’re only thrown off when you realise that an old Arctic Monkeys song comes on through your phone and your eyes go wide when Jamie sighs, “I haven’t heard this song in so long.” 

Immediately, you tense hearing the guitar and drums at the start of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts. Fuck, this is why you don’t normally have your music on around Katie, so you don’t have this awkward interaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was in this playlist.” You say, immediately turning to reach for your phone.

Liar. You feel Alex’s eyes screaming at you, as he looks amused at the fact you like his music, as if he already didn’t know. 

“Keep it on.” Jamie tells you, and you hesitate for a split second feeling Alex’s eyes on you until his friend continues to say, “Complete nostalgia of playing it at yours Al.” 

“Yeah, it’s a gooden.” Alex smiles.

“Who was this one even about Al?” Flo asks, entirely amused, thankfully stealing the singer's attention away from you so he doesn’t see you starting to fidget, really not wanting the song to stay on.

Your knee is twitching, your foot tapping on the floor of the jacuzzi like you can’t sit still at all. Thankfully the water and the bubbles will be enough to stop you from being noticed though.

“Just that girl I fancied back in Year 11.” Alex explains, “She was in your English lessons, I think she was called-“

If you were to tell the story again, you wouldn’t have been able to name the girl at all. Just that Alex really liked her in school and never got the courage to ask her out and then some guy who was in the year above them in school ended up going out with her. 

The conversation moved on and easily past that and your awkwardness about the man you’re sleeping with catching you having his song on your playlist eases off. But then, about 10 minutes later, it happens again. 

“Fuck my life,” You whisper immediately reaching to grab your phone this time. 

Because this is so much worse. 

It’s not just that Piledriver Waltz has started to play. It’s even more embarrassing that it's the Submarine soundtrack version of the song, it’s just Alex. Not even Arctic Monkeys.  

“Didn’t know you enjoyed my music this much, sweet.” Alex can’t help but once again tease you. Finding your reactions too entertaining not to. 

The panic in your eyes when the first Monkey's song came on, but the way you swore under your breath at this one just made him want to burst out laughing. You look absolutely mortified, and clearly not wanting to get any extra teasing from himself or your friends which you were likely expecting.

But Alex isn’t one to disappoint. So of course he teased you. 

You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “In the nicest possible way, fuck off.” Before you quickly look for a playlist that is safe and doesn’t have any of his songs on there. 

“It’s all good Y/N.” Alex smirks, “It’s good to know I’m doing something right.”

His hand comes to rest on your thigh to stop your leg from tapping. You swallow, stopping your movements and taking a deep breath to not let it get to you that the others could see his hand on your thigh. Although you’d rather them see his hand there than the bruises he’s left. 

Thankfully the bubbles disguise it from everyone else and no one comments, but just as you ask, “What album do you want to listen to?” Miles and Nick turn up at your door with more alcohol in their hands and everyone beckons them in. 

Which is an issue for you because the hot tub is probably only meant to have 4 people in it at the most and now there’s 8 of you. So you’re unsure why it’s you and Kirsten that have drawn the short straws, but you’ve both been pulled into the laps of who you’re sleeping with. But one second you were seated closely beside Alex, and now you’re sitting on his lap, your arm having to go over his shoulder so you don't slip off as you lean into him a little. 

Kirsten and Nick, you understand, they are married. Flo not sitting in Miles’ lap, you again understand because they aren’t together. What you don’t understand is why Katie isn’t on her husband's lap when they are married and have a child. But you, who has been sleeping with this man for less than a month, has been pulled onto his lap to make more room for everyone. 

All of a sudden you feel like you’re holding your breath and can’t relax. After being submerged in the warm water for so long, most of your top half being exposed to the crisp air makes you chilly and your thighs feel far too close to the surface of the water so you feel your hands in your lap to try and disguise the bruises. 

Thankfully one of Alex’s arms comes to rest across your thighs too and he holds your thighs again. And you can’t help slipping back into that little daydream of yours. 

Of the way he pried your thighs open, as if you weren’t already willing and dripping for him. As if you weren’t begging him to eat you out anyway. And when he finally gave into your demands his fingers only dug into your skin more, holding you open entirely at his mercy. 

And when he worked you up and up until he had your back arching and his name caught in your throat as you pulled harshly on his hair. He kept going, eating up everything you had to give him until you were writhing beneath him entirely overstimulated. 

After he blissfully tortured you like that, he kissed his way up your body until you could taste yourself on his tongue. And that only lead to him fucking you till you could barely move. His cock made you see stars when he hooked his arms under your legs and moved them closer to your chest. 

The pleasure he drove into you over and over was blinding, you saw white when you came. The only thing you can remember is the way Alex groaned into your ear when you clenched around him and the way he moaned when you tugged on his sweaty hair. And the way he bit your shoulder when he got his release not a minute later. 

Not to mention the way he flipped you over when you both caught your breaths and he fu-

“I can feel you.” Alex's whisper startles you out of your memory and your eyes snap to the man you were daydreaming about. 

You all but jump off his lap, your heart racing ten to the dozen feeling like you’ve been caught red handed. But you keep calm, not letting your cheeks heat up to give you away. 

“Feel what?” You ask him, the shock slowly disappearing from your face. 

“Your pulse,” Alex tells you in a low voice, his grip on you tightening, “On my thigh.”

And it dawns on you what he means. You’re fucking throbbing, completely aching at the thought of him. And he can fucking feel you. 

Fuck offfffffff. Men can actually feel that?!

No. No. No. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb, having to because you don’t think you’ll be able to look at him again if not. 

Not that you can right now, you just look at Flo and start listening to her, Miles, and Kirsten’s conversation. Meanwhile praying to every god that there is that you calm the fuck down and you stop being horny immediately. 

“Course you don’t, sweet.” Alex kisses your shoulder and his lips linger on your skin as he smirks, “Just like you can’t feel me.”

You’re about to ask him what he means until he shifts you against him more and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh. He’s hard. Really hard. You have to hold in the sound you want to make. 

Why the fuck did you want this ‘no fucking’ shit. You can’t stop thinking about him. The way you want to kiss him. The way you want him in your mouth. The way you want him to fill you up and fuck you like it’s the last time you’re ever going to be able to. 

You don’t even realise what you’re doing until Alex grunts in your ear, “I’d stop wriggling unless you want me to fuck you in front of these lot.”

Your thighs press against each other and you pray Alex didn’t feel that too. Despite him definitely noticing, Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t tease you any more and you just about managed to have a conversation with Flo about how she’s joining her husband on his tour and how she’s going to stay in Sheffield for a while after to see her best friend. 

But it’s not long after that, the alcohol runs dry and everyone notices the time. Nick and Kirsten are the first to leave, followed by Katie and Jamie, and when you don’t move from Alex’s lap (because he won’t let you, his hands clutching you tightly after you tried to move when the first couple left. Clearly doesn’t think the bubbles will  hide his hard on) Flo and Miles are the last to get out. 

Miles gives you both a cheeky smile and he helps the artist out of the tub and hands her the dressing gown. Both of them say bye to you and Alex but Florence gives you a teasing look as she leaves, seeming to scream at the both of you, have funnn. 

Your jaw locks and you very subtly shake your head at her, trying your absolute best to keep the smile off your face and show your strength. And you’d say you do well, you shout an unbothered bye to the direction they went and only when you hear your bedroom door thud shut does Alex’s hold on you go slack. 

And finally you release the breath you were holding and grab the side of the tub to stand up, needing off this man's lap before you do something you’ll regret. Abandoning your empty prosecco glass you just get yourself stood up when the singer stops you. 

“Where are you going?” Alex gently grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him, the water sloshing as you fall back towards him. 

“Alex,” You sigh as he moves you so you’re straddling him, but before you can even protest his mouth finds yours. 

His kiss takes your breath away, and he doesn’t give you time to think. He just wants you to feel. 

Alex attacks you with long kisses, three of them that have you forgetting that you were even trying to get away. It’s as if something ignites in you both, the mere connection of your lips has your skin erupting in goosebumps, and they aren’t from the contrast with the hot water and the cold air. 

But you seem to get some perspective and much to Alex’s disappointment, you pull back from the kiss. But he doesn’t let you go far at all, his hand on the back of your neck keeps you close enough your foreheads are resting against each others. 

“It’s just a kiss.” Whispers the man who’s got your heart racing, his hand pulling your neck that bit closer hoping you’ll kiss him again. 

“It’s never just a kiss with you,” You breathlessly reply, gently shaking your head, your nose rubbing against his. 

When he pulls you back for another kiss you can’t deny yourself the simple pleasure. Because it is never just a kiss. 

And it isn’t, because you’re not sure what this one is laced with, but you’re addicted. You don’t want to stop for a single second, especially not when he grabs your hips with both hands and pulls you against him properly. 

Your back arches, your chest against his now and he can feel your peaked nipples through your bikini top. He can’t help but groan, he’s been wanting to feel them against him in some capacity since he saw them through your bikini top when he lifted you onto his lap and you got cold and his head filled with filth about you. 

About how he wanted to pinch them between his fingers so you’d make that noise he loves. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about his head being back between your thighs when he spotted the bruises he’d left there. About how he wanted nothing more than to tease you in front of his friends, to see how far he could push you out of your comfort zone. And after he could feel you throbbing on his thigh he wanted nothing more than to make you cum over and over again. 

This kiss turns hard and hungry and it takes you enough by surprise that if you were standing you’d have stumbled back with the force of it. As you’re on his lap though, you can’t escape and you don’t for a second want to. Alex’s hands move your hips so you start grinding on him and both of you moan at the friction. 

You hope that the rumble of the jets hides them from anyone other than the two of you, and you pray to every god that Katie and Jamie haven’t decided to go into their hot tub as they are the room beside yours. Despite the wooden panelling hiding the balconies completely from potential neighbours, you need to keep quiet. But it’s so difficult when he’s making you feel so good. 

The more you grind against him, the more you can feel your stomach tighten with need. The way Alex is dragging you against his cock just makes you worse, your clit finally getting the friction it’s been aching for.  

Minutes pass of your whining, gasping, and mewling as he encourages you, taking handfuls of your arse to pull you towards him as he bucks his hips up into yours. His moans motivate you more, your hips now erratic in search for relief as he kisses you. 

Alex licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough of the way you taste. His groans spur you on, and his hand moving up to the middle of your waist has you arching into his chest again, and he can’t help but move his hips in time with yours, loving the little whines that escape your pretty lips. 

But he needs to hear more, so when you tug on his hair, and he bucks up into you, he bites your bottom lip when you moan so he can muffle it with his own lips. He smirks when he pulls away and he grabs your face, his thumb and index finger pressing your cheeks together as he grinds you against him again, his fingers digging into your hip ensuring it. 

The moan you let out for him then, you can’t suppress, and by the way Alex’s eyes seem to sparkle with delight shows you just how satisfied the sound makes him. Like it was intent all along to have you be loud for him.

“Do I feel good, sweet?” His voice a low whisper that has your throat bobbing.  

The singer kisses his way up your jaw before biting your earlobe, and he clearly wants an answer, “Well?” His hand falling from your cheeks to your neck and the slightest pressure has your head in pieces. 

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement pulling back enough to grab his jaw and bring his lips back up to yours. 

You refuse to let him mark your neck up again, no matter how good his lips feel on your throat. And at this point you know he’d do it just to get the both of you caught to see if you could withstand your friends teasing. 

This between you carries on for longer than it should. But that pull, that spark, between you, now ignited neither of you can get enough. 

“You like knowing you get me this hard, just from seeing the bruises I left on your thighs?” Alex rasps, as he kisses slowly down your neck. 

At this point, you think you’d do just about anything to have his lips on you or on your skin somehow. It’s addicting. So much so that you don’t remember the silly rule that you agreed upon, especially when Alex moves his hand  

“From seeing these,” Alex hums against your neck as his thumbs circling both your nipples through your bikini. “I can still feel them on my chest from the other night.”

His lips trail down your neck and the top of your chest and he kisses over your skin and his hands grab at you that bit tighter as he says, “I want my mouth all over you, sweet.”

His thumbs hook into your bikini top and he pulls both cups to the side, leaving you bare for him. His lips are on your breast in a second and the other he kneads in his calloused hand. 

Your head falls back, a moan falling freely from your lips as you grind yourself onto his cock as he sucks your nipple. Needing as much friction as you can get because you could easily finish like this if he carried on. But god, you want him inside you instead. 

Picking your head up, your fingers tug in his hair encouraging him as his right hand now grabs your arse again making you move on him. Fuck, you could cum just from this, easily if he carries on. 

He swaps to your other tit, lapping at it and savouring the sweetness of your skin and he can’t help but moan when you rut against him again. God, he just wants to have you like this forever, just free of inhibitions and completely giving into your desire. 

“Well, sweet? You like knowing what you do to me?” He teases, but he takes it a step further and he reaches between you and he presses circles onto your clit through your clothes, “That I like feeling this greedy thing throbbing on my lap for me?”

The sound you let out is guttural and completely obscene. To mute it you harshly pull his hair so you can press your lips against his to quieten yourself. But fuck knows if he even helps. 

His sweet torture continues and you feel the tension forming in your lower stomach, flames scorching your limbs, all caused by the man who’s name falls from your lips in desparate pleas, “Alex.”

His kiss is hot and heavy like a man starved, like he could never get enough of you. His hands claiming you is something promise you’ll never deny yourself the pleasure of again, those magic fucking fingers have you seeing stars. Each swipe of them against your clothed clit pushes you closer towards that delightful edge. 

“I- Al, oh.” Fuck. You’re going to finish, this is it and it’s going to shatter you entirely. 

His warm hands on you, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your own, his body heat making your nipples perk from the stimulation. And his fucking cock that you’re aching to have inside you, he’s so hard all you can think about is reaching down and moving your costume to the side so you can line him up and fill you to the br-

So consumed with your thoughts and your erratic hips chasing the orgasm you're on the verge of having you miss the singer mumble against your lips, “Okay, that’s enough.”  

You only register when Alex’s hand now holds your hip to stop you from moving and you hear him say, “Stop, sweet.”

“No,” You helplessly whine, entirely cockdrunk at this point, wanting him too badly and you kiss him deeply again. 

But Alex only entertains the kiss for another second, before he pulls away and to stop your lips from following his again, he holds your jaw, “If you keep kissing me, we’re not going to make it another minute.”

You’re so breathless you barely understand what he means. But as you take a minute to get some oxygen back into your system you realise what you’ve done and god you want to lock yourself up and throw away the key. 

“I’m sorry.” You swallow, looking away from his gaze. 

“Don’t apologise.” Alex shakes his head, and you note he’s just as out of breath as you. And he gently readjusts your bikini so it’s covering your modesty again as he says, “We agreed on your rule, sweet, don’t wanna break it on day one now, do we?”

It’s his smirk that he gives you as he says the end of that which makes you say, “You’re a bully.”

Because he’s got you all hot and bothered, only to completely edge you and use ‘your rule’ as an excuse to leave you right on the brink. God you could absolutely throttle him. But knowing Alex, he’d enjoy it, so you keep your hands to yourself. 

The singer just laughs, “You love it.” And he taps your arse under the water to prompt you to stand up so he can too. 

Jesus Christ it’s only now that you realise how perishing the cold is, you practically jump out of the tub and run for your dressing gown before heading to the door. And you’re kind enough to hold the door open for Alex as he wraps his towel around his shoulders. 

It’s only now that you gulp seeing just how little the swim shorts disguise his erection. Standing at attention is an understatement, and there’s a little spark of pride that scorches your blood knowing you’ve caused that. 

You don’t let your eyes linger, but you know from the smug smirk on his face as he walks through the door that he’s caught you looking. And the prick opens his mouth, probably to bully you once more but you beat him to it as you close and lock the balcony door. 

“You don’t care about the rule, why’d you stop when I was clearly enjoying myself?” You ask as you follow him to the door to your room. 

“Because you were dead set about not wanting to before we came.” Alex tells you sincerely, and you can’t help your heart from warming that little bit as he looks you in the eye and says, “I don’t want you regretting anything between us.” 

Swallowing down the smile you want to plaster all over your face, you tell him, “I don’t regret what just happened, for the record.”

“Good.” Alex smiles, walking the last few steps to your door. And the singer is about to open it before he pauses, turns back and tells you, “Oh, and don’t get yourself off.” 

Immediately you frown a little. It’s a miracle your words don’t come out as a scoff, “Don’t think you have that authority.” 

The smirk that comes to those pretty swollen lips and the way his eyes darken is something that needs capturing in a museum. Fucking hell it’s definitely banked away in a certain area of your mind. 

“I could just fuck you now if you’re going to do that.” Alex raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’so putting the offer out there. 

But after him saying it’s only day one, you’re definitely not giving in now. A week without fucking him. You can do it. You just can’t fucking slip up again. How embarrassing of you to have given in to your temptations only mere hours after your holiday began. 

Alex seems to understand your thoughts entirely so he quickly saves himself from a scolding,  “Think of it as being edged instead, don’t touch yourself. It’ll make next week more fun.”

Your still fucking throbbing for him, aching isn’t even the right word for the need for relief you’re feeling. It looks like your bullet won’t be being used while you’re away after all. But if you’re showing restraint, you certainly won’t be the only one. 

You nod, the corner of your lips tugging up a little seeing Alex smile down at you and as he reaches from the door handle to let himself out, you surprise him by saying, “Don’t touch yourself either then.” 

He looks at you again, his eyes entirely full of surprise that you’ve given him an order. But he’ll do it for you. He won’t be a double standard, so he agrees.  

Although when he opens the door and takes a step out, and you tell him, “Go get a cold shower.” He loves your brattiness.  

“Could share one of those?” Alex offers as he takes a step back towards you, his eyes bright and full of mischief as he smirks down at you. 

All you can think is, And end up having a repeat of the first time you were in the shower with him? No chance. 

“See you tomorrow, Alex.” You smile, placing a hand on his bare chest and pushing him towards the door perpendicular to yours. 

Alex chuckles, blowing you a teasing kiss, “Goodnight, sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 4th 2019 ~*~*~*~

To say that the next couple of days were positively torturous would be a massive understatement. The cold shower you had after Alex left your room that first night didn’t do much to calm you down, the ache between your thighs didn’t disappear until well into the night of you tossing and turning in bed. 

At one point you were ready to march into his room and tell him how unfair it is to leave you on edge like that, and that it was unfair because you’d be so pent up that you’d have a miserable holiday. But then you’d realise you’d see the singer's smug smirk and he’d say something along the lines of, ‘You’re so greedy that you come begging me to get you off, is that it? You can’t go even a few hours without me, can you not? You poor sweet thing.’ 

So you chose to stay warm in bed, following his direction of not getting yourself off and you eventually fall asleep. You swear though that if he got himself off and didn’t stick through this with you, you’d be absolutely fuming. 

And you can’t help but be pleased when Alex eventually joins you all for breakfast the next morning, and he made a thunderstorm look appealing. ‘In a mood’ would be an understatement. The singer looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, he hadn't even bothered with his hair, it was still dishevelled, and his glum, tired face had a smile tugging on your lips.

Good. You like knowing you’re not the only one who felt absolutely tortured.    

You had to hide your smirk by taking a drink of your orange juice, sipping it through the straw as your eyes linger on the singer who looks like he could commit a murder if his breakfast was served wrong. Clearly though, you’re not being as slick as you thought you were hiding your amusement by taking a drink because when Alex’s eyes lock with yours he sees the knowing in them. 

Instead of shying away from him though, you stare straight into his eyes and let your smirk show when you pull your drink out. You even raise your eyebrows at him entirely enthralled that he looks so much worse than you this morning. Looks like it’ll be cold showers for him for the foreseeable future.  

Alex couldn’t help but find you equally as amusing that morning at breakfast. The smile stayed on your face for the entirety of your meal and he could tell that seeing him so affected by the lack of your company had somehow boosted your confidence. So, pent up he may be, but he’d suffer in silence for as long as he needed to see that smug look on your face once more.  

Alex made sure his teasing continued throughout that day and the next. His flirting and lingering looks had you more on edge than usual thanks to the fact you felt entirely touch-starved, but you couldn’t deny that he had your heart racing. 

On the slopes he would sometimes wait for you if he wasn’t racing the boys or Flo down the mountain, to make sure you got down alright and there would be flirting when you’d stopped at the cafe’s that were half way down the slope. And he had you buy him the promised drinks that made you come on this holiday in the first place so you were happy keeping your end of that bargain. 

He really made you smile today when you had a bit of a fall on the slope. He watched you fall but he stopped right beside you and made sure you were okay before getting you back to your feet and he went down the slope as by your side as he could get. And when you both reached the bottom, he played into checking you over, being cheeky and saying he’d have to get the layers off you to make a complete and thorough check. Something which of course you rolled your eyes at but you couldn’t keep the smile from your face. 

When you walked out of your room each night dressed to go for dinner he told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress when he saw you, whether that be him stepping out of his room at the same time coincidentally or when you walked down with Katie and he was waiting for you with the other lads. Tonight was the latter and the way he looked you up and down made you feel all tingly inside.

And this evening at dinner he sat beside you and when you were waiting between courses, Alex rested his hand on your thigh, and it wasn’t at all to try and rile you, he seemed to just want to be affectionate. And Flo is right, why would you deny yourself that pleasure. 

You know you’re nowhere near a relationship, or possibly even heading into that direction. But this fun you’re having with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t take comfort from the small meaningful gestures that you’ve found that you’ve missed since your last relationship. 

So yes, you’ve adored the flirting, and matched his energy entirely by giving him back as much as good as you’ve got which grants you access to that cheeky smirk you’re starting to love being the cause of. You pretend like your heart doesn’t do something stupid when he’s affectionate and you’ll continue to act like you aren’t dying for him to touch you and kiss you and fuck you until you’re back home. 

And all of this is the reason why right now, you’re absolutely seething at yourself. Why you’re now at this bar, side-eyeing the man who’s had you at whit's end for the past few days wanting god to do you a favour and stop what you’re seeing. 

You hate it, you absolutely hate it. Seeing Alex’s hand on her hip, the way he smiles at her as she’s talking, and the way he’s making this random girl laugh. 

It’s been at least 15 minutes now since he went up to the bar to get himself another drink and left your group at the few standing tables in the corner which you’d all claimed. And when you looked over after 5 minutes of him disappearing, you saw him at the bar talking away with possibly the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. 

Intimidated isn’t even the word you could use to compare yourself to the stunning woman. She’s just everything you’re not. Clearly she's confident to speak to a stranger normally and not at 100 miles per hour because she’s nervous. She’s absolutely gorgeous with the complete opposite hair colour and style to yours, and her dress accentuates all of her features perfectly, leaving little to everyone’s imagination but she’s so gorgeous and fearlessly self assured, there’s no way you could possibly compete with a woman like her. 

Your chest sinks because it’s so easy for you to realise just how jealous of this woman you are. Not just because she holds Alex’s attention and you want that back for yourself, you’re just hit with that intimidatingly jealous feeling you’ve not experienced for such a long time. And it’s such a dirty feeling, you really judge yourself for it. 

Because you’re well aware you’re not in a relationship with the singer. Yes you’re fucking each other but he could easily call that off at any point, especially on holiday when you’ve established you’re not sleeping with each other and that will make your self esteem plummet and not to be dramatic but you’ll more than likely never put yourself out there again, and you think that is valid enough if that’s how this night ended.   

To make it worse, the ladies you’re with, your close friends can clearly see that you’re slipping into a foul mood. A few times you’ve been asked what’s wrong, and you’d have to tune back into conversations and plaster a fake smile on your face because you’ve got so stupidly in your head about all of this. 

It was only when Katie followed your gaze to the bar did she realise what was making you slip into a bad mood. On the down low, when Kirsten and Flo were having their own conversation, Katie said, “Y/N/N?” 

“Hmm?” You hum, tearing your eyes away from a laughing Alex and the stunning woman.  

You look at your best friend as she seriously asks, “What are you waiting for?” 

Immediately, you’re confused, “What?” 

Katie can’t help but laugh to herself a little as you’re being so blatantly obvious to her. And she can’t lie, she secretly loves seeing you jealous, because she’s never witnessed it before. And the mere fact you’re being silently possessive over Alex is all the more amusing to her. 

“Just go and get him.” She encourages you, seeing that you’re holding your glass of wine that little bit too tight.  

She understands that you’re probably that bit more jealous too because you are bordering on being a little bit drunk. Your tolerance is slightly better than hers and she knows that you’ve drank near enough the same amount so she’s very aware how your thoughts are probably being manipulated by the alcohol. 

“No, if he wants to play he can,” You tell her and put on a brave face, turning away from him now in an attempt to not shoot daggers at him with your eyes, “He just won’t be getting me again afterwards.”

And you mean it. You won’t get caught up in that STD mess waiting to happen. Condoms or not. It’s a no from you. 

You drink with the girls a bit more then, the other lads make you laugh too but after a few minutes you become all too aware again that there’s a missing piece. And it’s like a wound to the chest when you see he’s still there talking to that woman and they seem to be standing that little bit closer, smiles still on both of their faces. 

Something about it hurts, and not due to the fact he’s being flirted with. It mostly gets to you because he’s being so kind to someone he’s just met and you only got that side of him after a ten years and only when you called him out for his behaviour. It makes your heart sink a little, you just don’t know why he wasn’t ever this friendly toward you when you were first introduced, yet he can be so kind, smiley, and flirty to a complete stranger. 

Up until 6 months ago, Alex would barely hold a conversation with you and something about that always hurt. The effort you’d make only for it to go unreciprocated when he probably knew how much it took for you to not be socially awkward around him. It’s a blow to your chest and to your ego. 

And to make it worst, he’s flirting with this girl as if you haven’t been fucking each other for a month and he didn’t almost fuck you in the hot tub the other night. As if the bruises he left on your thighs aren’t still very prominent and he didn’t edge you, leaving you craving every little bit of him for the last two days. And now he’s flirting with someone that isn’t you. 

And you can’t even blame the woman for flirting with him. He looks impeccable this evening. He’s in a black suit with a black shirt and he looks incredible. Like you’d do just about anything for him to pull you aside in this darkened bar and for him to whisper filthy promises in your ear before his lips find yours and he takes your breath away all over again. 

But you’re not so lucky. And your mood worsens when you see the bartender come back with two drinks in his hands and he places them in front of the pair. But it’s when Alex gets his card out and seemingly pays for both does your heart drop. 

Has he just fucking bought her a drink?

You blink a few times and force yourself to look away. The feeling that’s settled in your stomach not being one that you want to ever be feeling. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and you wish it wasn’t running through your veins right now so you try and breath through it, letting the thoughts pass you by as quickly as they come.  

The people that know you best though, can see you’ve sort of checked out from the conversations surrounding you, and you’re staring out of the window at the snow that’s beginning to gently fall. Your best friend knows it’s not the same zoned out as you were awestruck when you first arrived on this holiday though, it’s due to you being in your head because of the man at the bar. 

And it seems Katie isn’t the only one, because Flo asks Mrs Cook quietly, “Should I go tell him?”

Katie notes that she nods over towards the bar, but your best friend immediately shakes her head.  

“No,” She tells her, “Let him dig his own grave.”

Because after everything last year, she wants Alex to prove himself worthy of having her best friend. She knows you deserve something good, and despite being 99% sure that Alex is just being polite to a fan at the bar, she wants him to prove that he wouldn’t ruin this good thing that you both have going for the sake of another woman who could pass as a model.  

So Katie distracts you, getting another glass of wine down you is easy to do and she has you giggling with her and Flo again. 

While you adore your friends for their distraction tactics, Alex and the stunning woman linger in your mind, and you feel like you need a second to quieten those intrusive thoughts. So you head to the toilet in hopes to clear your head but when you hold the sink and look at your reflection the clarity that hits you is that you’re drunk and probably (most definitely) overreacting, and you just find yourself wanting to close your eyes. 

So that’s why when you make your way back to your friends, who Alex is still not with, you decide your night is done. 

“Guys, I’m going to head back.” You tell all of them, “The wine has gone to my head and I’m so tired after today.”

Each and every one of their faces fall and they all start a little bit of a commotion, shaking their heads and shout over each other drunkenly pleading with you not to go. But it’s a singer who is the one that complains the loudest. 

“Noooo come on, Y/N/N.” Miles throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he says, “Party with us.”

You smile at him but there’s no way you’ll be giving in. You need your bed. And to get away from Alex and the stunning woman taking all of his attention at the bar. 

“Miles, you saw the fall I had earlier today,” You almost wince at the memory, “I’m knackered and just wanna get in bed so I’m good again tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jamie offers but immediately you shake your head, having none of it. 

“No, you’re having a great time, stay out. Have fun.” You smile, giving him a look to say ‘do not put on your coat’ as you put on your own. 

You’ll be perfectly fine getting back by yourself, everywhere is lit well enough to make the 5 minute walk back feel safe. And you could certainly use the time to clear your head. 

So you just smirk, wrapping your coat around you and downing the last of your white wine. And you grin, “I'll see you all hungover for breakfast in the morning.”

They all laugh at your little joke, knowing it’ll more than likely come to fruition, before they pull you into hugs goodbye. Flo, you realise, gives the best hugs out in the group, and she holds you tightly as she whispers in your ear, “Are you sure?”

You don’t hesitate to nod, “Positive.” 

She pouts a little as you pull away from the hug but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to have another drink for you which makes her giggle and she promises she will. And then the only person left over here you have to hug is your very drunk best friend, and Katie all but smothers you with her bear hug. 

God you adore your best friend so much. Or you do until she easily reads between the lines and questions your actions. 

“This isn’t to do with Alex, is it?” She asks, pouting like she’s both angry and upset, “Because you can’t let him spoil your fun.”

You hate that she knows you so well, but wanting to go back to your hotel room is only marginally to do with Alex at this point. You know if you drank anymore tonight you’d be worse for wear tomorrow and you don’t want to ruin this precious holiday by staying in your room wanting to throw up. 

“No, I'm just tired.” You lie, trying not to even think about the fact that Alex not really giving you any attention and flirting with another girl was what triggered your bad mood in the first place. You tell her, “I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Okay queen.” Katie nods before she pulls back and she looks into your eyes to seriously tell you, “Text me as soon as you get back to the hotel, okay?”

“I will.” You promise her and after she gives you another hug, you turn to leave. 

You avoid looking anywhere near the bar even though you have to pass it to leave, but you’re quick and you leave out of the side doors and make it down the stairs fairly quickly. The automatic doors expose you to the cold air quickly and you’re so thankful you chose your long, navy dress this evening, even if you were regretting the slit in it that comes up to just above your knee when the wind hits you.  

Thankfully, your ‘going out coat’ is a long one, coming down to just past your knees, and would retain most of your body heat, so as you walk towards the doors you start to slowly button it up. But your buttons aren’t cooperating, they won't go through the bloody buttonhole. Clearly nothing wants to go right for you this evening.

And you end up not paying attention to where you’re going as you walk out of the bar, you don’t realise that the smoking areas out front has gotten busier so you end up turning to head back to your hotel and you bump into someone at quite a little bit of force. Immediately, you end up almost slipping too, not realising that the ground has become slippy too thanks to the fresh snow landing and melting. But before you fall arse over tit, you're saved by your own victim. The poor man you bumped into.  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You say as you grab onto his tattooed arm that stabled you. 

And it’s only when you’re sure you’re steady on your feet do you look at the exquisite man. A gasp almost leaves your mouth at just how attractive he is. The strong jawline, the short black hair, the sun kissed skin, and possibly the most stunning eyes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. They are such a gorgeous shade of blue they almost look purple, and God, you half wish you could stare into them all night.  

“No worries,” The man holding your arm says, and once he’s satisfied you can stand properly again, his eyes drop to take you in. 

It makes you feel like your heart is in your throat for the two seconds he checks you out, but under the stare of those gorgeous eyes, it feels like it lasts an age. You can’t help watching as a small smirk forms on his lips, clearly pleased with what he sees and when his eyes meet yours again, you feel like your knees could fall from under you again if he wasn’t still holding you up. He’s dream worthy.

His fingers move down your wrist and he gently comes to squeeze your hand as he smirks but endearingly says, “Careful darling.” 

Immediately, the pet name makes you flush, and under his gaze you feel like you’re vibrating somehow, and you realise just how badly you need to get yourself back to your hotel. So to not make a fool out of yourself again, you cut the situation short.

“Thank you.” You give him a gracious smile and a small nod of your head before turning towards your hotel and safely begin to rush off. 

In your peripherals, you see the two other men that the stunning man was accompanied by and you’re glad you didn’t interact with them too, because they look just as attractive as their friend. You’d surely crumble under their gazes and start awkwardly chatting their ears off so you’re pleased to get away from both them and that bar. 

At least this gives your drunk mind a quick distraction from wondering what Alex and that girl are currently up to. You try not to think about how cosy they might have got or if either of them have made a move. No, you’d rather think about your embarrassing encounter with a model worthy guy who then checked you out and you said thank you to him. 

Thank you? God, you’re so fucking stupid for saying thank you Y/N/N, that doesn’t even make sense. Thank you for me bumping into you and being so kind about it? What was the thank you for? Silly bitch. 

God you really need to get to sleep. Your brain is absolutely spinning. 

Instead you find yourself focussing on the crunch of snow under your boots, how you can see your breath in front of you. And the gentle light coming from the lampposts illuminates the snow that’s slowly falling from the sky and you can’t help but think that it’s so beautiful despite it being so cold. 

Finally you manage to do up the buttons of your coat and your hands are stuffed in your pockets as you carry on walking. But it’s only a few seconds later, you hear your name being shouted behind you. You think you’re hearing things so you don’t stop walking, but then you hear someone running behind you and a gentle call of, “Sweet.” As he begins to slow down. 

Alex is out of breath by the time he’s beside you, and a gentle hand on your arm stops you from walking. A mixture of emotions runs through you in that moment, happy that he’s not with that girl anymore is certainly one of them, but annoyance at him for him even flirting with someone else hits you all over again. 

And it just makes your mood worse, because you absolutely despise being jealous. You hate it. You hate the tightness in your chest and you hate the way you start to second guess everything. And you don’t think you should be second guessing if you’re good enough.  

But you keep all of that to yourself, not wanting to annoy Alex or appear jealous or be overbearing. You’re just drunk and you need to get over yourself. 

“Sweet.” Alex says a little out of breath, “What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” You say more flatly than you meant to and turn to carry on walking to the hotel. 

You’d scorn yourself for it, but you’re glad Alex doesn’t pick up on your tone. He just follows after you, falling into step as he asks, “Why are you leaving so early?”

“It’s almost one Alex,” You tell him, “I’m tired.”

You’re certainly not telling him that he’s a part of the reason you’re leaving. Even if he has finally given someone else the time of day for a brief minute tonight.  

Trying not to focus on the mixed emotions cursing through you, you end up telling the singer, “You don’t have to walk me back, go back to the bar.”

“And let you walk back on your own at one in the morning?” Alex frowns down at you,  “I don’t think so.”

You shake your head slightly at that, knowing he’s just doing that because of the story you told him about how you don’t like to walk alone at night. But you don’t want him here solely because of that. “I don’t need your pity.”

“There’s no pity, I’m just not a dickhead, sweet.” Alex’s smile then turns into a smirk as he throws his arm around your shoulders and he pulls you against him, “Now let me keep you warm.”

Your chest feels lighter somehow at his actions, and it makes you feel all gooey and smiley inside. But your brain is telling you to keep a hard exterior after what you witnessed tonight, so you try and brush him off, “Al, I’m fine.”

But the singer is having none of it. He just holds you tighter teases, “You’re moody.” 

“I’m tired.” You correct him, even though you’re lying through your teeth. 

“With your little rule, I thought you would have been reserving more energy.” Alex smirks, not being able to pass on the opportunity to torture you that little bit more. 

You don’t mute your scoff at that, and decide that silence is what he deserves after that comment and him flirting with someone else all evening. And it hits you all over again how up until a few months ago you’d only get silence and sneers from him, but that woman at the bar instantly got smiles and flirting. It makes you want to push his arm off your shoulder and you fall silent again. 

It’s confusing. Wanting to scold him but then also lean into him and accept the joy the simple pleasure of him hugging you brings you. And you’re feeling it all at once. You don’t understand it and don’t really know how to process it. 

Sleep. You need sleep. 

With his free hand, Alex digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his gloves, noticing you’re shivering, “Here take these.” 

“Thank you.” You accept them quietly and graciously and don’t waste much time putting them on, even if they are too big for you. 

Alex smiles once you have them on, and he squeezes your shoulder that bit tighter as he grins, “They suit you.” 

“Bit big, but I'll take it.” You shrug a little, and give him a bit of a smile so you don’t look like a colossal bitch. It was a kind gesture after all. 

Alex grins back down, his eyes bright as he says with a knowing look, “Well, you know what they say about big hands, sweet.”

Holding your own smile back, you fake a roll of your eyes and look away from him, “You’re not funny.”

“What?” Alex asks, faking innocence but smirking, “Just big gloves, nothing untoward.” 

You share an amused look then, both looking into each other's eyes and knowing for certain that was not what he was meaning. In those few seconds though, you can’t help but notice how gorgeous he looks, with the snow falling down around him, a few flakes having found home in his hair and he just looks so pretty and happy. 

You always want to look at him and see that cheeky smile looking back down at you. It makes you feel all warm inside.  

But then that crude sense of humour has to go and ruin the moment. 

“Anyway,” He smirks, “You already know how big I am. I don't think I need to remind you just yet.”

The way your cheeks heat up immediately is almost as embarrassing as the way your gaze snaps away from his. You just try to act nonchalant about it, shaking your head, “Way to lower the tone.”

“I think it was your dirty mind that lowered the tone, sweet.” Alex laughs and he has you giggling along with him. 

It doesn’t take long to get back to the hotel, and you walk in a comfortable silence with your head finally not filled with everything to do with the bar. You just enjoy having his attention back, and that he keeps pulling you back into him, and rubbing the top of your arm in an effort to keep you warm. 

You expect the singer to walk you into the lobby and bid you goodnight there before he heads back out to your other friends. But he surprises you, stepping into the lift with you and even when you’re going up to your floor he keeps his arm around you like he doesn’t want to let you go.  

“Thank you for walking me back, you really didn’t have to.” You tell him after he walks you to your door and you get your keycard out of your pocket. 

Only when you look at him again does he tell you, “Stop thanking me for being a decent human being.”

You smile at him for a second there, and it is a truly grateful one. Despite everything tonight, you really are thankful he came back with you. If not for your safety, but then at least for your peace of mind about what he was up to when you left. Your chest fills with the hatred of the jealousy you’re feeling once more. 

But it’s like the man looking at you can somehow read your emotions. Because he once again flips them on their head when he takes you in again and sees how gorgeous you look in that navy dress and the way it hugs you. 

He seems a little breathless as he says, “You really do look incredible tonight by the way.” 

You look down at yourself, really not thinking you looked anything more than presentable tonight. But two men have checked you out this evening and seemed pleased with what they saw, and you know Alex well enough now to know that he doesn’t just say these things, he actually means them. 

“I- Thank you.” You stumble for a second, but gladly take the compliment. 

As you turn to open your door, Alex takes a step towards his, which makes you frown. He’s going to bed?

“You can go back out, you know?” You say before he even takes another step. 

You don’t really understand why he’d be going to his room when he could go back out and have a good time with either your friends or the stunning woman he was chatting to. Surely he didn’t just leave because you did?

Alex shrugs, and takes a step back towards you, “Don’t want to.”

“Why?” You can’t help but question, “Looked like you were having a good time.”

“Not that good, I wasn’t spending it with you.” Alex shamelessly flirts as he comes to stand right beside you again, hoping to see you get all flustered. 

He adores being the cause of it, and he even likes when you run your mouth back at him and flirt with him too. It makes him happier than he should admit to himself at this point in your little arrangement. But you shock him completely and don’t do either of those things.

No, instead Alex watches as you tense slightly and you become ridged. The smile falling from your face entirely. 

“You knew where I was.” You shrug, not knowing what more you could have done. It’s not like you could go up to him and demand his attention, or steal him away and he figures out why and he teases you for it.  

You just turn back towards your door and mumble under your breath as you put the card in, “Besides, it seems that you found her quite interesting.” 

This has Alex smirking, possibly the biggest he ever has. Not that you can see that smirk as you’re still fumbling about with your keycard and putting it in the door the wrong way. So it gives him a little time to compose himself enough that you won’t hate him when he gets you to look at him again. 

You’re jealous. Hence the mood, short replies, and the pout that was just seeping onto your face… It all makes perfect sense now. 

Alex tones his smirk down into a slight grin before he get your attention again, “Sweet?” 

“What?” You ask, just about managing to open your door before you turn back to him. 

And it’s only when you do, you see the way he’s looking at you. His amusement is clear to see, but he doesn’t say anything. He just takes a step close to you, and before you really know it his lips are on yours and he gently eases you backwards until your back is against the heavy door you’ve not opened more than an inch. 

It’s a sweet kiss, full of longing and care and words you’ve both yet to say. And the way he gently holds your waist, pulling you against him now, his arm running inside your coat and around your back so he can press you fully against him as his lips move in sync with yours. His hand on your jaw moves that bit higher, so his thumb can caress your cheek and you think this might be the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared.

It’s gentle and full of emotion, even when his tongue finds home with yours. It makes the both of you hot despite both of your lips softly moving together. Something about it runs deeper, like he’s trying to tell you something without explicitly coming out with it. 

His hold on your waist gets that bit tighter which has you melting into him. Unable to stop yourself, you also let out a tiny hum of bliss against his lips and you hold his coat in your fist that bit tighter. This is what you’ve been after all night. This is what you’ve been craving. Him and every last bit of him. 

Even when the kiss comes to its natural end, you wish it wasn’t finished. And you’re glad that it doesn’t seem to be. But the man who makes your heart skip a beat says something you really aren’t expecting. 

“I’m only interested in sleeping with you.” Alex tells you, before he leaves you with one last breathless kiss. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: What did you think?!?!? NRIACC bestiesssss!! How was it seeing Wheels again?! She's my multiverse I had to hahaha! But how bloody cute are Sweet and Alex, god I adore them so so much. Until next time besties x

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[connorsnothereeither]

OH I realised today that I never actually explained the “Ulysses was originally a rabbit” joke… so here’s that explanation/behind the scenes on his character creation lol-

When I was first invited to join Fable as a cast member and create my own character for the world, I spent some time spitballing ideas. All the new cast were given a lot of wiggle room to build our little guys, and so I came up with 3 concept character pitches, which each could have explored different areas of the server’s lore that we hadn’t gotten a huge glimpse into in the first 2 seasons:

Character #1 was the aforementioned rabbit, named Tamlin! Although maybe rabbit isn’t quite accurate, he was a Jackalope hybrid. He was the most developed of the pitches I came up with, and I think I described him as “Alice in Wonderland’s White Rabbit meets Celtic Mythology/the Fae”. He would have been more Nature-Fam (specifically c!Jamie) adjacent, being a rabbit hybrid created by Deltavera, as a sort of assistant/companion. Narratively he functioned almost as a foil to c!Ven, being an assistant to Delta rather than Fable. He would have been driven mad by Fable to some extent after Delta’s death (we hadn’t decided on how exactly, at that point in time) and leaned hard into the Wonderland tea/madness/whimsical aspect. His purpose story-wise would have been to help c!Jamie learn about Deltavera over time, both of them unlocking pieces of the past together in scattered fragments, ending with Tamlin getting all of his memories back.

Character #2 was a piglin, I think? Or at the very least some kind of Nether Hybrid. They would have been a Nether soldier that fully deserted both sides of the war, and was living undercover in the Overworld as a fugitive while trying to fend off zombification. His working name was “Asmodius” or “Azzy”, and a lot of his characterisation and the idea of his family coming with him was eventually folded directly into the Tuskly’s as NPC’s!

Character #3 was an unnamed Telchin. He was originally solely a warrior, inspired by the Iliad, rather than the Odyssey, specifically Prince Hector of Troy. A soldier who had spent decades fighting and being hardened and calloused only to defend a city that was always doomed to fall. I didn’t want to interfere with the scientist side of the Telchin, since that was very much Metta and Ocie’s thing, so I intentionally tried to steer clear of that, and lean hard into the war-time aspect of the telchin, and the idea of the rest of society collapsing while the scientists worked on the projects.

In the end, there was a bunch of reasons the characters didn’t pan out.

Tamlin was ultimately just not narratively necessary? c!Jamie could find out most of those things on his own, and as Deltavera was developed into the more lovable “I only talk to animals” loner, it felt weird for him to have an assistant. Logistically it would also have been difficult for me to act as both Tamlin and Delta in any cutscenes lmao. As much as I liked the wacky Mad Hatter rabbit hybrid vibes, it also made him overlap just a little too much with what c!Haley had become. Certain elements were reused for Ulysses though, like the fragmented memories, and the “tea obsession” was changed to the “kelp obsession” at the beginning of the season, etc.

Asmodius just wasn’t as developed as a character, and I didn’t think he could hold water for the whole season. Not to mention Athena and Ocie were both expanding on the Nether aspect of the world though c!Athena and Oscar’s backstory, and I didn’t think I was bringing anything new enough that fully justified his existence as a character beyond the initial concept (hence why it was given to the Tuskly’s, specifically Wilkins, since at the time there was only ever going to be him as the only Tuskly).

I actually think it was Heyhay that approached me about expanding the Telchin idea? Maybe? It was a while ago now. I was really excited to be given the invite to take part in the established scientist/project lore that had been developed in s2, because it was something they’d really been building up, basically with the pitch of “hey… you like horror stuff right? *points at Brink* We have some horrors to witness” lol. I got to really go all in on the Frankenstein meets Greek Mythology angle, and finding a way to transition someone from a soldier to a scientist was what led to the medic/doctor angle, and examining what drives a once person to do the things Ulysses did, and experiment on a god they worshipped. The letter of regret about Project Leviathan was the first time I really got a feel for writing Ulysses as a character, and I instantly became very attached. Like, as much as the other ideas for him would have been fun, I would not trade the character he became and the development of him behind the scenes for the world, he is the best character outcome I could have hoped for when joining Fable ✨

[jamiesfootball]

Anyways. Back before season three aired, my working theory for What Ted's Deal was - with his advice to Jamie, with the panic attacks that were layered Jamie and his son - that it would turn out that his late father had also been abusive, but that with his father's death Ted had never processed it.

Obviously the show didn't go that route, but in general these were the points that I was daisy-chaining together to build something of a narrative flow:

Ted preaches kindness and positivity but also struggles with his own repressed anger and inability to be direct in what he wants. He continually, pathologically, puts people before himself, to the point that it's becoming a breaking point in his marriage.

Ted repeatedly praises 'women' for being the more emotionally intelligent of the genders. He looks at toxic masculinity as not just a thing to be examined and overcome, but the root of why men struggle.

He himself is a product of the same toxic male behavior, and while he tries to lead by example as an individual, there's a part of that culture that he almost sees as... natural? Like a foregone conclusion. A lot of his methods for dealing with the team in season one happen within the same social boundaries he decries. If he can get Roy to step up, if he can get Roy and Jamie to stop fighting and call a truce, then everything else will fall in place, because men follow a hierarchical structure. This is How Locker Rooms Work, and-

I always go back to Jamie's first, open receptiveness to Ted's 'one in eleven' speech as the first sign that Ted doesn't know how to deal with things directly. This scene reads as Ted being very taken aback by Jamie's willingness to listen. It has shades of their later scene at the Crown & Anchor in it, with Ted being the one who pulls away from a conversation that has the ability of getting emotionally direct and real.

Ted's repressed anger. His shouting at Jamie in 1x06 over practice, but also his shouting at Nate when Nate tries to stuff the letter under his hotel room door.

Ted emotionally reaches for the bottle like. A noticeable amount of times. But especially when he's getting divorced.

Every Sunday afternoon Ted's father used to take him to a sports bar. From age of 10 til 16.

Ted's mom is completely incapable of being direct

Ted and his mom never processed or talked about his dad's death

Ted looks devastated when he sees Jamie with his father in the boot room, but ultimately walks away

Ted sends Jamie a token to show he's not alone (Ted soldier)

Next time Jamie tries to talk to Ted at the bar, Jamie opens with addressing the subject directly (the Ted soldier) and Ted deflects. Asks about City. Won't look him in the eye. Doesn't say anything to Jamie admitting he left City to piss off his dad. He just says that line about how sometimes having a tough dad is what makes you better.

He thought he knew what he was doing [about Jamie] but Sam 'went and unsettled it.' Some people aren't lucky enough to have good dads.

Ted welcomes Jamie back but keeps his distance (much more than in season 1).

Ted begins having panic attacks that feature Jamie and his son.

Ted admits panic attacks linked directly to his father's death.

So this takes us through season two, and at this point my working theory was what if it turned out that Ted most of Ted's Ted-ness had been an active effort on his own part to become something less like his own father? It would explain his disdain for male-coded behaviors while also explaining why he seems unable to truly break away from them. it would explain his people-pleasing habits (and meeting his mom and knowing she is also allergic to asking for things, I think this could still fit as a trauma response). It would explain his putting women on a pedestal, if he had a bad male role model to begin with. It would explain how his demeanor around Jamie changes so much when they have the 'tough dads' talk turning into something closed off when his body language with Jamie has always been open before (and there's a lovely parallel with how they're both sat at the bar in that shot too). Hell it would add additional weight to that talk if it turned out he was also speaking of himself. His panic attacks would make sense, seeing himself in Jamie but also his son and his own role as a dad.

That, plus Ted being a character we regularly see drinking something harder than wine or beer, usually when he's emotionally stressed. Plus Ted's dad bringing him to a sports bar every Sunday for years, and at a young age too. Plus Jamie's dad being an alcoholic. That's where I thought this was going- I thought it would turn out that the late Lasso had also been an alcoholic and a tough dad. It just seemed the obvious conclustion at the time, to make the Ted & Jamie parallel into a full parallel.

Then you add in the fact that Ted married his college sweetheart and then waited until they were in their thirties before having a kid (In the midwest. Where he definitely would've been pressured about it) and all of this to me added up to a troubled man who struggled with the idea of becoming a father long before he had a son. Someone who spent years creating a facade, pretending (like his mom) that things were okay. Someone who maybe never felt right blaming his dad for any of it, not when it became so clear at the end how much his dad was struggling.

Only to have that facade crumble the second someone else from similar circumstances showed up to challenge it.

His dad was a product of his time, the same way that Ted is a product of his dad, the same way men are just a product of toxic masculinity, and Ted doesn't know how to 'deal' with any of it but he'd thought he'd gotten to the point in life where he had some solutions. Only to find that those solutions didn't work when held up to a mirror.

So yeah. That was my theory. Then season three happened, and I realized that unfortunately my theory had a flaw. See, I was so busy looking for a Watsonian diagnosis that would make Ted's idiosyncrasies make sense, that I completely missed the fact that the problem was Doylist to begin with. The show writers never meant for us to read into all of that, because the show writers themselves didn't see anything contrary, worrisome, or tone-deaf about Ted's behavior. Not from a toxic masculinity standpoint, and certainly not from the standpoint of discussing abuse of a male character.

It's not Ted who dismisses Jamie's dad's abuse. It's the writers. Which unfortunately means, since Ted by extension is the show, that it is Ted. Which is why all of us are left watching scenes like the 'tough dads' scene or the Mom City scene and going-

What the hell, Ted?

[americasass81]

Toys 'R' Us

Warnings 18+ for the following:- Non-Consensual Sex, Dubious Consensual Sex, Kidnapping, M/F Penetrative Sex (vag & anal), F/F Oral, M/F Oral (f receiving, everything else implied), Implied M/M, Choking, Very Mild Language, Restraints, Fingering, Fisting, Anal, Squirting, Use of Pet Names. Seriously do not read if any of this upsets you, the warnings are there for a reason. Feedback is welcomed and any mistakes are my own.

By proceeding you are acknowledging that you are over 18 and are consenting to the content below the cut.

Pairings:- dark!Steve Rogers x Female Reader, dark!Tony Stark x Female Reader, dark!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Author’s Note 1: This is my submission for @jtargaryen18 Halloween Challenge 2023. Having chosen the prompt below, I’m kinda hoping I pulled it and the spooky sense of the season off.  Even if I didn't, I most definitely had fun writing this. Thank so much for hosting this delightful challenge Jamie, you’re an inspiration to so many of us here.  Hope anyone who reads this enjoys 💖

Challenge Prompt:- (The Portal in the Pumpkin: You carve one of the pumpkins Tony ordered, but this one turns out to be a portal to somewhere else...)

Author’s Note 2:- As always, all images have been found through google search.

Synopsis:- Whomever told you Halloween parties were supposed to be fun never heard of those involving Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.  What will happen when you accept an invitation to Tony Stark’s latest shindig?

Total Word Count:- 8,278

The invitation showed up in your mail just like it did every year you had worked for Tony Stark.  But this year should have been different.  Oh sure the heroes had stopped Thanos and things had pretty much gone back to normal.  But what it had cost humanity seemed to have been forgotten by everyone but you.  And here was the proof.

Looking at the red envelope with its gold writing you still couldn't believe this was happening.  Tony was dead after all.  Steve had chosen to abandon his friends and those that cared about him to live in the past with some British dame who promised him a dance but had no idea of the man he had become.  And Natasha? Well Nat had willingly sacrificed herself knowing that no power in existence could ever bring her back.

So whose idea was it then that this Halloween should be celebrated in the same fashion Tony celebrated every occasion ... with a fabulous party that people talked about long after it was over.  Opening up your door now and heading inside your home, the shocks continued to rock your system as you ripped open the envelope and pulled out the invitation you were now so used to receiving.

Except this wasn't anything like the previous ones.

Appearing now in ghostly holographic form and coupled with the time of year it was, Tony's voice sent a shiver down your spine as he reached out from beyond the grave and reminded you just how prepared he was for anything life threw his way.  "Hello darling."  Ugh there it was again you thought, that cringe worthy endearment that even in death was still such an integral part of who he was.  "If you're seeing this then I am no longer among the living, but that hardly seems like a valid reason to let my legacy crumble.  Therefore in true Tony Stark fashion," he continued with his hand upon his heart, "your presence is hereby requested at the last Stark party to be hosted by yours truly.  No need to R.S.V.P., it's not like you would deny a dead man's last request after all."

Watching now as he winked back at you before the recording disappeared and left you on your own once again, you dropped onto the couch behind you and tried to think through your options.  You hated parties after all.  In all honesty it had to be the only part of being Tony Stark's assistant that really grated on you.  Long hours.  Tedious requests.  His never ending flirtatious ramblings.  All of these you took in your stride and even laughed off some of them.  But these parties were definitely something you could do without.

Which you figured was why Tony always insisted you show up.  Mixing with humanity was, according to someone who preferred to bury himself with machines, the only way to experience all the thrills life had to offer.  God even now the thought of Tony lecturing you on always choosing books over partying made your eyes roll.  He really knew how to annoy you it seemed.

Yet even in death, the man still had a point.

You could never deny him anything in life and you weren't about to cheat him out of his last request now.  No matter how painful it would be to attend knowing that the man of the hour wasn't going to be there, you would always show up for him.  Giving one last look at the invitation now and acknowledging that you at least had two day to prepare for this blessed event, you then headed off to bed and figured tomorrow would give you plenty of time to track down something suitable to wear.  After all one couldn't show up to a Stark Party in any old rags.

Greeting the world again on what you thought was the following morning, you were beyond horrified to discover that you had actually slept a whole day away.  Trying to remember now if you had actually gotten out of bed at all, some empty water bottles on your bedside locker and some vague memory of trips to the bathroom comforted you at least with the knowledge that you had left the bed.  But that seemed to be all you did.  Thinking back now on the last activity you could remember accomplishing, throwing yourself into bed after a long and exhausting day at work somehow convinced you now that the invitation you recalled receiving was simply a dream brought about by far too many long days and sleepless nights.  However, rising from the bed and leaving the room, the envelope and its contents waiting on your living room coffee table told you the summons was real.  Tony Stark was causing you problems once again.

Picking it up and now reading through the finer details his holographic presence and your tiredness had previously caused you to overlook, you now confirmed with a deep sigh the last thought you had that night before sleep knocked you out cold ... nothing in your closet would qualify for this event and you would definitely have to go shopping.  Sighing now with the realization that two days notice had disappeared to become the day of the party, you figured you better get a move on.

Calling a taxi then to pick you up in half an hour, you hurried off into the bathroom to shower and dress before heading outside to catch your ride.  Sitting into the taxi then and telling your driver Devon exactly where you wanted to go, you tried to focus on him talking to you about mundane things like the weather or the last football game he watched but the list of various Halloween outfit shops popping up on your phone as you scrolled through Google proved too much of a distraction to really take in much of what was being said.  After all, with the party taking place tonight this shopping trip was the very definition of last minute.  And you despised last minute chores.

Which you guessed explained the headache that was now beginning to form.

At last arriving in the center of the city, you promptly paid and thanked your driver before exiting the taxi and heading off towards the nearest costume shop.  Hoping for a one and done kind of experience, stepping inside the front door at least brought you some comfort when you were greeted by a throng of adults and children milling about through the huge array of colorful costumes stretching as far as the eye could see.  You weren’t the only one it seemed that the spooky season had crept up on.

Walking through the shop now around excited children, harried adults and even more stressed out shop assistants, you made your way to the adult sections and carefully pawed through every single costume without any of them really screaming out ‘pick me.’  Giving up at last when nothing really grabbed your attention, you left the shop and headed to the next one and the next one and the one after that.  Eventually tired out and wondering why you were unable to find a simple costume for a simple Halloween party, you figured a spot of lunch might allow you to clear your head and start over when suddenly a quick glance down a side alley revealed a small shop decked out in pumpkins, spiders and all manner of ghost and ghoulie.

Glancing around now and observing that no one else seemed even remotely aware of the shop’s existence or where you were even looking, you took a few extra seconds to ponder this revelation before swallowing your concerns, placing one foot in front of the other and heading off towards its door.  Placing your hand on the knob then once getting within its reach, you held your breath and pushed forwards.

Stepping inside the first thing that caught your eye wasn’t the smoking cauldrons or the various supernatural creatures displayed throughout but the actual interior of the place itself … it reminded you of a forest.  Decked out with a moss like carpet, the night sky overhead contrasted beautifully with the leaves cascading down the walls in all the glorious colors of fall.  It took your breath away.  In fact you were so mesmerized by the whole scene before you that you actually let out a shocked scream when a hand landed on your shoulder as the owner of the shop made her presence known to you.

“I’m sorry my dear, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” she apologized politely as you smiled back tenderly while you tried to reassure her that no harm had been done.  Starting a conversation then regarding how amazing her shop looked and at the same time how empty it was compared to most of those on the main street, she simply smiled and reassured you that she still turned a nice profit through those that were destined to find this place.  Taking no notice of her exact words however as your attention now fell to the lack of costumes on display, you wondered if she could actually read your mind when she walked over to the door, locked it and then turned her attentive gaze back on you before speaking.  “Now dear, how about you follow me to the back room and we’ll see if we can find something to bring out your spooky spirit.”

Glancing at the locked door now as she simply walked past you while motioning for you to follow after her, your mind quickly debated what you had gotten yourself into before the memory of why you were even on this trip reminded you that you were terribly low on options.  The party was fast approaching and all the other shops you had tried had been woefully disappointing.  This one really couldn't be any worse, right?  So silencing your reservations then and following behind her step by step, thirty minutes later had you endlessly thanking her as you finally had a costume that suited you and the occasion perfectly.  She truly had delivered.  Saying your goodbyes then, picking up a few essential items and grabbing a quick bite to eat, you next hailed a taxi to get you back home to begin preparing for the night ahead.

Opening up the door to your apartment and stepping inside, you put away your other purchases before heading into your bedroom and dropping the bag containing your costume onto the bed.  Sinking into the chair in the corner of the room then, you contemplated one more time about not going to this party before you finally chastised yourself for hiding yourself away from your former work colleagues.  Sure Tony’s death had been hard on you, so hard in fact you sought out a new job even as the Avengers now rebuilt the compound at a completely different site and Pepper had offered you a lucrative position as her own personal assistant.  Still it would never be the same.  It couldn’t be.  Tony may have been a colossal pain in the ass after all, but he did make things fun.  And it was that fun you missed most of all.

Taking off your shoes now that your mind was beyond changing, you then reached for your phone, booked a taxi for an hour and a half later and finally headed off towards your en suite to start your preparations.  Stripping off your clothes then as the shower heated up and sent its soothing sounds throughout the room, you now stood beneath its warm spray and washed off all the grime trying on the various costumes had deposited on your skin.  Grabbing a towel then and heading back to your bedroom, you dried off before retrieving the costume and looking it over once more.  It really was impressive.

At last feeling all the excitement of the evening ahead, you slipped on the black and red leather bodysuit along with the knee high boots before standing in front of the full-length mirror just inside your closet door.  Admiring the way the suit hugged your figure while cupping your breasts in a way that honestly had you feeling all kinds of sexy, you had to admit that nothing looked as good as your legs leading down from the bodysuit to nestle snugly within the boots.  As Tony would say you were indeed a looker.

Genuinely smiling now for the first time since receiving the invitation, you next went about securing the high collar with the adjustable straps provided before taking out the accompanying belt and securing it firmly around your waist.  Watching now as the four sheer drapes cascaded down your thighs and ass, the light make-up and fake blood you then applied finally finished off the look splendidly and you had to agree that the shop owner was indeed correct.  This was most definitely your look.  Checking the time on your phone one last time, you then picked up your jacket and the invitation and walked out the door just in time to sit into the waiting taxi and head off to see what adventure lay ahead.

Pulling into the parking area of the new Avengers Compound twenty minutes later and handing over your jacket and invitation at the door, arriving at the entertainment floor confirmed that you had made the right decision despite the fact that for the first time since you had come to work for him Tony would not be here.  In fact, it suddenly hit you now standing in this room that Nat and Steve also had to be added to the list.  It just didn’t seem fair.  Setting aside these depressing thoughts however in favor of living life large just like your former boss was notorious for, you plastered on your best and brightest smile and walking towards the bar, ordered the reddest drink they had in honor of the vampire princess your costume declared you to be.  Sipping on it slowly then as the taste assaulted your senses and whatever alcohol it contained burned your throat, you took a few minutes to look around the floor and study the lay of the land until a shiver traveled down your spine and a voice in the back of your mind told you you were being watched.

But that just had to be paranoia, right?

This was a party you were actually invited to, you were no one in particular and everyone looked to be enjoying themselves way too much to zero in on you.  No, you figured now with the outfit you wore the shiver was simply your body adjusting to the changes in temperature and as for the voice well, that you were going to write off as your imagination when a cursory glance around the room proved not one single person here was looking in your direction.  You were just another body.  Gazing out across the sea of faces more closely now bathed in the eerie glow of lighted pumpkins and multi colored billowing smoke, another sip of your drink to calm your nerves and it actually warmed your heart to see so many people - superheroes and Stark employees alike - just hanging out and enjoying the spooky season in all manner of costume that now made you feel right at home.

At last leaving the safety of the bar and venturing forth to mingle, talk and get a closer look at some of the activities, you not only discovered Thor’s dark talent for telling terrifying stories that appeared to be frightening even grown ass adults, but it actually made you smile even more to find Bucky and Sam thoroughly outdoing each other in an ever increasingly degrading game of Truth or Dare.  They really seemed to be embracing the spirit of the season.  Which you figured was something you should be doing.

Thinking now to yourself however of just how much Tony and Nat especially would have enjoyed the festivities on display, you were just about to join Wanda, Pepper and some of your former colleagues from before you left Stark Industries to work at the Avengers Compound for a game of 7 Minutes In … when a glimpse off to your left revealed Carol, Clint and Bruce in the throes of carving pumpkins and having a heated discussion as to which one of them was doing a better job.  Deciding there and then that this actually looked like far better fun and also using the excuse to get your hands on a knife, you placed your hand on Pepper’s shoulder and gave her a warm smile in greeting before making a beeline for the three Avengers currently trying to decide what exactly Carol was after creating.

Stepping up beside them now in the hopes of not only settling the argument but also just to see what each of them had accomplished, you too had to agree that the pumpkin was not something recognizable on Earth to which Carol now threw her arms around you and thanked you for stating the obvious.  Apparently she had indeed carved out some alien creature none of you had ever even heard of and neither of the guys had actually realized it.  Deciding now that your detective skills merited some type of reward and pointing out, to his dismay, that it made you smarter than the great Doctor Banner, Carol now reached behind you and picked up the nearest pumpkin for you to try out your skills on.

Taking the knife now offered by Clint, you waited until all three of them nodded their heads for you to begin and so you did.  Slicing off the top and scooping out the insides, you then carved slowly and carefully and fifteen minutes later a tea light nestled inside revealed the Kraken from Norse mythology devouring a ship and dragging it down to the depths of the ocean never to be seen again.  Grumbling between themselves that you were hiding talents from them, the three superheroes now admitted defeat and walking away left you thinking of what you wanted to do next.  Deciding that as grand, successful and fun as your first pumpkin carving attempt had been, it was a bit too dark in your opinion despite the season that was in it and so reaching for the biggest pumpkin you could find you made the first cut thinking that this time you wanted to try something simple and cheerful.

But alas it wasn’t meant to be.  Sliding the knife in and drawing it back out, a gust of wind simply loud enough for you to hear emanated from the pumpkin and as the knife plunged back in and created a larger cut, a portal formed before your eyes and sucked you forwards into the unknown.

Rising to your feet now having been unceremoniously dumped out wherever the portal had ended, you took a few steadying breaths before beginning the task of figuring out where you were and how you were going to make it back to the party.  Realizing also in the same breath the mistake it was to have left your phone in your jacket pocket, you now focused instead on where you might be and the revelation shocked you.  You were standing in what appeared to be a darkened toy store.  Massive beyond belief and covered in cobwebs, debris and all the eerie spectacle of the season, your hopes of getting out of here began to soar as you cautiously made your way down the nearest aisle and headed towards the front of the building.  But that hope did not last long.

Being greeted by boarded up windows that let in just enough light for you to see by, this revelation coupled with a nearby phone that proved to be lacking an active dial tone told you all you really needed to know.  The place was utterly abandoned and you were trapped inside.  Panicking now at the situation you found yourself in, you checked and rattled every window and door you could find for any possible way out but no exit appeared, so you now began searching the surrounding area for anything that might help you escape or at the very least alert someone outside that this place was not as abandoned as it appeared.  Failing miserably however as everything you tried chipped away at your sense of preservation, you finally sent your gaze upwards along the height of the shelving and wondered if you could climb them, reach the roofing system and manage to get out that way.

Looking around once more now at the front of the building which offered no escape and the Halloween decorations adorning this place that now looked far more sinister and creepy the longer they stared back at you, you accepted you had nothing left to lose and so placing your foot on the nearest shelving and reaching up over your head you prepared to climb and get a better view of things above you when the sound of someone chanting off to your left caught your attention.  Stopping what you were doing now and focusing more completely on what was being said, you still couldn't distinguish any one word from another but two facts were undisputed.  And they totally freaked you out.  One, you were no longer alone in this place and two, this new voice belonged to that of the male variety.  Which made you even more uneasy.  Taking a moment now to contemplate this new information in the context of what you were currently wearing and the time of year it was, you waited a heartbeat more before finally deciding that seeking assistance to get out of here was worth whatever danger may be waiting for you somewhere in the bowels of this disused toy store.

Dropping back down to the floor and moving forward now without alerting your unknown companion, you made it all the way to the action figure aisle where the light of a stationary flashlight illuminated the silhouette of a familiar figure standing before a life size cardboard cutout of The Black Widow Natasha Romanoff.  Completely forgetting the unusual circumstances now that landed you in this peculiar location, you hurried forwards and called out Steve Rogers name until a wayward glance beyond him stopped you in your tracks.

Something very strange was happening here.

Looking back and forth now between the man that sparked hope within you and the object that halted your movements, seeing what looked like blood dripping down Natasha's effigy made you want to run back the way you had come when another image caught and held your attention.  At the end of the aisle, four or five feet away now from where you and Steve stood, another life size cardboard cutout also stood dripping in the same red substance, but it was still easy to make out.  This one was Tony Stark.  Moving slowly past Steve now without any interference from him to stand before the image of your former boss, you were just about to reach out and wipe the red liquid from his cardboard helmet when a hand suddenly reached out to stop you and made your skin crawl.

"Please don't do that.  Jamie was very clear that their blood should not come in contact with any other living creature," Steve explained and the shadows dancing across his features as you glanced towards him somehow made him far more terrifying than you ever thought possible.

"Who the fuck is Jamie and just what the hell is going on here?" you asked, turning now to face Steve fully while his grip on your wrist and the bloody scene before you frightened you more than you ever willing to utter.  Especially to him.

Visibly flinching a bit at your language, tone or possibly both, Steve easily composed himself however before speaking.  "Oh I'm sorry sweetheart," Steve began as he now moved both of you away from the figure before you and the temptation you still had to touch it.  "I thought after all the time the two of you spent picking out your costume she would at least have given you her name.  Guess she didn't," he now finished as his tongue darted out to lick his lips while his eyes took in the sight of you for the very first time.

Following his eyes down your costume now as some of the pieces began to fall into place, you still didn't know for sure what puzzle they were falling into though and part of you questioned if you really wanted to find out given what you had seen so far.  But it proved to be a very small part however.  Deciding instead after a brief pause that you just had to know what was going on, you turned your full focus back on Steve now and asked the question he failed to answer once again.

"Well if you really must know, Jamie informed me that very little separates the living from the dead on All Hallow's Eve.  So using a spell she provided, Nat and Tony can walk this earth once again."

Completely horrified now by this revelation, all that it implied and his seemingly cavalier attitude to what he was proposing, your head screamed at you to run but your natural curiosity won out again as more words tumbled from your mouth without too much thought for what you were saying or the consequences they might reap.  "What the hell Steve?  Why would you do something like this?  Have you any idea the forces your actions could unleash?"

Locking his eyes with you now as he contemplated whether or not to tell you the truth, it seemed the truth won out in the end as America's sentinel of liberty began to speak once more.  "What can I say sweetheart?  I missed Natasha.  Hell even on some level I also missed Tony.  I just had to find a way to bring them back.  And this is it.  Whatever it takes," he finished with a cold, almost lifeless whisper and you knew now that all hope was lost.  This man before he was no longer the beacon of hope the world held him up to be and the longer his blue eyes roamed over your barely concealed form the more afraid you became of the circumstances that landed you here and the consequences should you be unable to escape.

Frantic now as your mind wandered back to the feeling of someone watching you as you entered the party, you wanted to tell yourself to shut the fuck up when another round of words left your trembling lips.  "It was you?" you stated almost as a question as more pieces of this puzzle made themselves known to you.  "You sent the invitation.  Organized for Jamie to find me.  You were watching me at the party too.  Oh god," you shuddered out suddenly as a final thought revealed itself to you, "you left that cursed pumpkin for me to find.  You wanted me here."

Backing away from him now as you no longer wanted to hear anything he had to say, you finally took off at a run not caring where you were headed, but only made it three aisles over before a heavy body slammed into you and brought you to the ground.  Trying desperately now to fight him off but failing miserably given his power, size and the position you found yourself in, you might have feared for your life as a crazed looking Steve turned you over and brought his hands around your throat if not for the words that settled in your ears as his fingers started to squeeze.  "Rest easy now sweetheart, I'm not done with you yet and there's at least one person both of us know who will be overjoyed to find you here."

Clawing at his hands now as your vision began to blur and his words frightened you more than any revelation so far this night, your fingers eventually fell from his as the cold embrace of darkness finally claimed you and his satisfied smirk was the last concrete image your mind captured.

Regaining consciousness some unknown time later to find Steve with his back turned towards you staring into space, you might have been horrified by the fact that your body suit was all that remained on your frame now if not for the fact that being practically naked was not your worst condition.  Ignoring the super soldier who seemed to have taken leave of his senses, your eyes now took in the makeshift scene all around you and it was worse than the one before he choked you out.  Following the line of your limbs, you quickly discovered that the drapes that earlier fell from your hips now tied you down to what looked and felt like the base of a fourteen foot trampoline.  Which didn't bode well for you.

Determined as a result to remain as quiet as possible so as not to alert your unhinged captor, you pulled your arms and legs towards you and while there was some tiny movement allowed, the fabric didn't even tear.  Which only confirmed that you weren't going anywhere anytime soon.  Meaning you were now in serious trouble.  Tired now from all the exertion this information and running from Steve had cost you, you relaxed back down on your makeshift prison and figured it was maybe time to try and reason with the man responsible for your current situation since you had nothing else to lose.  “Hey Asshole,” you began as a means of grabbing Steve’s attention though you knew once again that your attitude had not been well received by the noticeable tension that seemed to settle in his shoulders, “you maybe want to tell me why exactly I’m tied down here.  Surely you’re not going to go so far as to sacrifice me?” you now asked and you hated yourself for the tremor you knew he must be hearing in your voice.

“Sacrifice you?” Steve now asked as he turned around to face you before jumping up onto the trampoline and kneeling down between your open legs.  “Oh sweetheart don’t be silly.  Jamie doesn’t practice that type of magic, but you will have to contribute … something,” he now answered and as his fingers began gliding over your bound figure you suspected that his next answer was not going to be something that was going to excite you.  Even if you hadn't been tied down.

Listening intently now as the terror began to build, Steve informed you that come midnight Tony and Nat would step through their blood soaked cardboard cutouts and rejoin the world they gave their lives for.  All that then had to be done to seal the resurrection spell was for the two of them … well in this case the three of them, to spend the next twenty-four hours ravishing each other's bodies and yours so Jamie could harness the energy of said couplings for whatever purpose she required.  Finishing off this revelation then by leaning forwards and placing a kiss against each covered breast, you wished you could headbutt him in retaliation but the other questions swirling in your brain took priority.

Plus there was the fact that your current position didn’t allow you the strength to inflict that type of damage on him.  Still, telling Steve in no uncertain terms that you would tell Tony and Natasha what he had planned, you also told him that he had to be even more deranged if he thought the flimsy drapes tying you down would remain strong enough to hold you for that length of time.  His answer to this remark however only served to  shock you even more.

Glancing at his watch now before releasing a laugh that sent a chill through your very soul, Steve now seemed to take perverse pleasure in settling his lips against your ear before explaining the lengths he and Jamie had gone through to secure your participation.  “Oh sweetheart, your little shopping trip to Jamie’s did more than enable you to purchase this delicious covering.  The drapes while looking flimsy to you are actually enchanted to hold you forever until one of us releases you.  And as for telling tales to Tony and Nat," he continued with a tsk tsk sound, “well … try to reveal anything too detailed about your participation or Jamie’s involvement and all anyone will hear is you moaning, pleading and begging to be fucked harder.”

Rising off the trampoline now and heading back to the spot he had previously been watching from, your mind began to swirl with everything he had just told you but as a whooshing sound now broke the silence settling around you and Steve again, this new development now told you that the time you had left with full control over your voice was just about up.  So with very little choice left available to you, you swallowed your fear and asked Steve the one remaining question that haunted you the most now.  “Steve, what happens to me after twenty-four hours?  Will I actually survive what’s coming?”

Torn between answering you now and giving his full attention to his two friends whose cutouts you just now noticed standing a few feet away, a quick glance at the shimmering effigies and his watch told Steve he still had some time.  It couldn't hurt then to give you another piece of information, right?  Sighing again at your persistence before turning back to face you, he simply told you now that you would indeed survive but all four of you would then be bound together forever and beyond.  Informing you also that the question and answer portion of the evening was now officially over, you would have protested this final statement vigorously if not for the skeletal hands you now watched emerging from the cutouts before you.

This shit couldn't be real.

Following your frightened gaze and high pitched screams now to also witness what you were seeing, Tony and Nat emerging through the blood soaked veils should have been a welcome sight except for what actually appeared in their stead.  Disheveled skin, protruding bone and wispy strands of hair, you now felt bone chilling fear for the first time in your life at the prospect of having these creatures anywhere near you.  But Steve it seemed didn't care.  Moving forward now one step at a time for every one they took in your direction, you ignored Steve’s actions and his previous comments and pulled harder against your bindings until a new phenomenon drew your attention to what was taking place before your eyes.

Craning your neck now around Steve’s considerable bulk, your eyes widened in utter disbelief as you watched the desiccated corpses of two people you thought you’d never see again somehow absorb the blood that previously covered their cutouts and complete their transformations.  Reaching their friend and former teammate then, Tony and Nat embraced Steve in all their former glory and as the three friends focused on their own reunion you now wondered how long you had until their attention fell on you and whether this transformation was real or simply an illusion.

Fearful now that the answer to this unvoiced question would end up being the latter, yet not liking the former prospect any more either, you foolishly tried once more to free yourself from your confinement until Tony separated from his friends and locked his gaze on you.  “Well now darling, aren’t you a sight these once dead eyes thought they’d never see again.  Capsicle you really have outdone yourself,” Tony now added as he walked away from Nat and Steve and closed the distance between you.  Feeling your heart now pounding in your chest the closer he got to you as Natasha helped Steve strip out of his clothes, Tony at last reaching the trampoline and placing his hand upon your ankle told you one thing at least.  This was no illusion.

Completely naked, warm to the touch and looking every bit as human as he had in life, the smirk you never admitted to loving graced his newly restored features once again as he watched your eyes travel down his impressive physique to settle on his equally impressive package.  It was better than your dreams.  Calling for the others now to hurry up, Steve and Nat standing beside him equally naked now left you feeling positively fully clothed in the bodysuit that moments earlier had felt like nothing more than a glorified swimsuit.  But you knew it wouldn’t last.  Watching now as their hungry eyes raked over your bound and covered form, all three heroes nodded silently to each other now before Tony joined you on the trampoline and ripped the bodysuit from you.  Begging now for them not to follow through with what they had planned, it was Natasha that set out to put your mind at ease.

“Princess please, look at you.  Look at us,” she continued as Steve and Tony reached out and helped her up on the trampoline.  Dipping ever so slightly now from the combined weight of all four of you as Tony remained between your legs while Steve and Nat rested on either side of you, the redhead licking a stripe along your neck made you cringe in disgust until she started speaking once again.  Then you wanted to vomit.  “Do you see Tony’s package princess?  Tell me you haven’t fantasized about it buried deep within your flower.  And what about Steve?” she asked, reaching across your body then to place her hand around his glorious erection.  “Imagine this rod splitting you apart as you beg the guys to fuck your brains out.  Not that we'll be able to hear you much with my pussy dripping all over that sweet and talented mouth of yours,” Natasha finished with a laugh before her lips crashed against yours and her tongue invaded your mouth and tickled your senses.

Drawing back to let both of you breathe then while letting go of Steve’s equipment, the three heroes exchanged looks once again as Tony now made room for Natasha between your legs while Steve moved closer to fondle your breasts and replace Nat’s lips with his own.  Fighting off Steve’s advances now as his tongue darted out against your lips but failed to breach your oral cavity, he finally managed to penetrate your defenses however when Natasha bent down between your legs and buried her head against your intimate area.  Moaning out then as her lips descended over your folds and began to lick and nibble an area no man or woman had ever touched orally before, Steve took full advantage of your slippage and gliding his tongue over yours began to seek out any participation from you on his end.

Squirming now to get away from Steve’s skillful hands and Natasha’s talented fingers and mouth, you actually lost control of your senses when Tony attached his mouth to Nat’s private area and sent her moans reverberating through your pussy in a sensation overload you had never experienced before.  One that made your head spin.  Grabbing a hold of the drapes now as you and Natasha were pulled apart, you couldn’t tell where you ended and Nat started and at this moment you couldn’t really care.  Feeling your orgasm growing stronger and stronger as Natasha's tongue and fingers continued to assault your core, Steve now suckling on your breasts while Tony worked Nat towards her own release confirmed all that they had told you ... it was going to be a fourway.

But it didn't end there.  Hearing a female voice chanting in the same language you had heard earlier, a cracking sound joined the slapping, slurping and moaning sounds coming from all four of you and you figured now that this was the energy harnessing part of the spell that Steve had previously mentioned.  At least you might have accepted that explanation had your mind been able to focus completely on anything other than the sensations currently pulsing throughout your system.  Biting along your chest now so that your mouth was free to give a voice to their efforts, moaning out now just like Steve had promised as their manipulations of your body continued to push you higher and higher, you cried out your release and created a vice-like grip on Natasha's fingers as a powerful orgasm ripped through you and threatened to knock you out once again.  But it wasn't going to happen.  Continuing to fuck you through your high as Steve now egged her on and Tony increased his eating out of the redhead sandwiched between the two of you, one more powerful, never-ending spasm starting in your head and thrumming downward towards your toes and you felt the dam burst.  Literally.  Squirting out all over Natasha's face as she in turn released into Tony's waiting mouth, all three heroes now smiled in satisfaction at the moisture leaking from you and dripping down Natasha's face.

Laying atop you now as Steve moved forwards to taste her release on Tony's face, you would have chosen that moment to close your eyes to the scene before you if the redhead didn't have other plans.  Moving her body along yours as the guys now watched in rapt attention, her bringing her lips against yours should have made you thoroughly repulsed but instead it turned you on.  And the words she uttered next just added to your overall confusion and humiliation.  "You taste wonderful princess, don't you think?  I'm glad I got to sample you first," she finished with a wink as she then flopped down beside you and began discussing with the guys how all of you should proceed from here.  Deciding it was only fair that Steve should get to taste your nectar next, Tony and Nat now snuggled up on either side of you as the super soldier made himself comfortable between your legs.  Feasting on your pussy then as Nat and Tony showered your upper body with nips and kisses, you actually began to wonder if Steve required any air to breathe at all as your body responded to his stimulations and his face seemed determined to breach your entrance.

Begging him to stop eventually as you couldn't take much more, an imperceptible look towards his teammates had Tony holding down your hips while Nat placed her lips over yours to easily silence all of your objections.  No longer able to do anything now but feel each and every sensation swirling through you, your body finally succumbed to Steve's unrelenting torture as wave after wave of unending pleasure crashed throughout your body and you at last surrendered to the multiple orgasms competing within you for the title of strongest one.  Pleased with himself now at the effect he had on you as he collapsed exhausted between your legs, you hoped now they would at least let you rest a bit before starting up again.  But this was not to be part of their plan it seemed.

Having followed the rule of ladies first and then rewarding Steve for all that he had accomplished so far this night, Tony had waited patiently to taste your honeypot. But it seemed his patience now had run out. Returning to their starting positions as Natasha whispered in your ear how she had never tasted anything quite as exquisite as your pussy, Steve devoring your mouth once again did nothing to distract you from Tony's mouth attaching itself to your dripping folds. Acknowledging now for the first time that Steve and Nat were clean faced, the feel of Tony's goatee against your oversensitive lips was an altogether different experience. As were his skills. Realizing now that the previous two heroes had pulled you apart without ever actually manipulating your clit, Tony's nibbling on your bundle of nerves along with the tingling burn created by his facial hair added a whole new sensation to the pulses taking place within your core and as every muscle in your body began to tighten you knew you were in trouble. This was shaping up to be your most powerful release yet.

Successfully pulling back from Steve's mouth now as the pressure began to build throughout your system, you fought as best you could against Tony's hold even though it was an action that ultimately proved futile. Adding his fingers now which then became a fist as his tongue, lips and goatee all continued to aggravate the nerve endings his friends had previously sparked to life, you this time welcomed the darkness that surrounded you as fireworks burst behind your eyes and what felt like electricity crackled everywhere from your head to your toes. You had never in your life come so hard and part of you hoped you never would again. It was beyond draining.

Releasing the drapes then that tied your now limp body to the trampoline, the heroes began to use you in earnest now as each of them took turns to become acquainted with all of your holes and each others.  Twisting and turning you now in ever more creative ways as each of them tried it seemed to outdo the other, all you could do now was try not to pass out again as one orgasm ended and another one began.  In fact, so coordinated and determined were they in their dominance of you that at one stage in this bizarre ritual with Nat sitting on your face while kissing Steve beneath you and Tony somehow also sampling Natasha's nether regions, both of the guys' cocks buried in your pussy at the same time had all four of you joined as one.  And it wasn’t the only time this happened.  Another time, Steve buried in Nat's ass and Tony buried in yours while you and Nat pleasured each other seemed to you like something out of a pornographic movie. But this too had actually been real.

Losing track of all the times each of you had come now as well as trying not to think about the consequences of all the loads the guys had deposited within your core, you suspected this part of your ordeal was coming to an end however as the crackling energy you vaguely remembered noticing earlier coalesced into a shimmering barrier surrounding the trampoline as Steve and Tony both released one final burst of cum each against your shuddering walls.  Exhausted now to the point of being nearly catatonic, yet also eternally grateful that you had indeed survived, your body covered and overflowing with cum could not shut off the new round of questions forming in your brain as Steve and Tony nestled against your sides while Natasha lay down between your legs and rested her head upon your stomach.

Breaking the silence to ask what their plans were now that the twenty-four hour sex marathon had secured their resurrection, no amount of thinking or deducing on your part could have prepared you for the answer Tony furnished you with however.  Informing you that a house had been secured in your name somewhere in time, all of you would live comfortably on a secret fortune that Steve had amassed while populating this new time period with the next generation of earth’s heroes.

Strenuously protesting this idea while simultaneously groaning at the thought of all the sex that would be required to accomplish this goal, Tony and Nat peppering your skin with kisses did very little to distract you however as Steve reached under the trampoline and retrieved a bag containing four time travel suits with corresponding GPS wrist straps.  Slowly backing away from their location now as you all dismounted the trampoline, arguing with Tony that this whole idea of starting over was beyond absurd as the three heroes proceeded to suit up, a stern look from Steve as he moved to block your escape attempt told you no more insolence on your part would be tolerated going forward.  Informing you then as he grabbed a firm hold on your shoulders that you could either get dressed on your own or be dressed, it was Nat now who tried to smooth things over by appealing to your gentler side.

"Princess, forget what happened these past twenty-four hours and listen to your heart.  Now tell us you don't want this.  This world believes us to be dead so we can't stay here, but elsewhere together a life with Tony, Steve and I awaits where you will be treasured beyond your wildest dreams," she finished and as all three heroes now stood awaiting your answer you simply countered by asking where the exit out of here was and would they even let you reach it.

Smiling at you now as Steve flat out told you you weren't going anywhere but with them, suiting up and following on as he led all three of you farther into the store and back to the storage area, all four of you then stood on the waiting quantum generator, synced up your GPS wrist straps and shot through the time portal to emerge in a wooded landscape with an impressive cabin decked out in all the splendor of the spooky season.  Resigning yourself now to the future they promised as Steve confiscated all four wrist straps, a change of clothes inside the house had you wondering how long you could survive this nightmare before you lost your mind and whether or not your new reality came with heroes that could offer some assistance.

Tagging: @jtargaryen18

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

This week’s episode marks the 100th episode for 9-1-1 and it is a total banger! I figured nothing could get better than Bobby and Athena trapped inside an upside-down cruise ship, but this week’s episode walked up to the bar and said, “hold my beer”. If you’re reading this, you know exactly why this episode is truly *that girl* and I promise you we’re gonna talk about those last 4 minutes and 23 seconds that had us collectively clutching our pearls, pillows, and pets and left us with nary a hair on our scalps. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover so let’s not waste another second. This reaction is for the season 7, fourth episode “Buck, Bothered and Bewildered” which originally aired April 4, 2024. The episode was written by Andrew Meyers and Bradley Michael Marques and directed by actor turned directed Chad Lowe. Spoilers ahead!

“She has anthrax! Or glitter.” – Bachelor Producer, to everyone

We start things off at the Bachelor mansion where we see real-life runner up of season 20 of The Bachelorette and star of season 28 of The Bachelor, Joey Graziadei. I have never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I have watched the first two seasons of VH1’s Flavor of Love so I’m quite familiar with the concept of a bunch of women competing for the affections of one man. The opening to this episode does a great job of parodying the hit ABC dating and relationship reality television series while also being respectful. After all, the show and it’s many spin-offs are beloved by many, including 9-1-1 viewers. 

We see a handful of hopeful contestants pull up to the mansion in limos, each of them providing a cheesy introduction very reminiscent of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Real Housewives. I love that two of the contestants are named Ashley because of course there would be two Ashleys cast in the same season of a show like this. My favorite contestant, however, is Ashley A., a flight attendant who looks like she just stepped out of the one-season wonder Pan Am starring Christina Ricci, a pre-Barbie Margot Robbie, and Mike Vogel. Now that I think about it, wasn’t Pam Am an ABC show?

The last contestant arrives with a bottle of glue and introduces herself as Conchata. Joey is all of us and asks her about her name because for those of you who haven’t seen the episode, this woman is the whitest shade of pale and is the last person I expect to have the name Conchata. The producers (played by Jamie Denbo and Rique) scramble behind the scenes trying to find out who this woman is because she is definitely not Conchata. The contestant comes clean about who she really is and introduces herself (again) as Bailey, an aesthetician from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She takes the bottle of glue and pours it all over the cobblestone driveway. She then lies flat on the driveway in attempt to glue herself to the surface. Our two producers attempt to remove her, but her skin has adhered to whatever glue she poured on the ground. 

Cue title card.

“I love dalmatians.” – Ashley C., Bachelor contestant, to Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

Our favorite 911 dispatch, Maddie, gets a call from the season 5 bachelor and host of The Bachelor, Jesse Palmer. We learn Maddie and Josh (played by Bryan Safi) are uber fans of the show and I cracked up when Josh commandeered the phone call and started grilling Jesse about the new bachelor. Maddie deploys the 118 to the Bachelor mansion and it’s heavily insinuated the location of this particular emergency is outside of the area the department usually responds to. Way to keep it professional, you guys!

The 118 arrive on the scene and Chimney and Hen attend to Bailey (played by Sarah Fletcher). Chimney sees Joey and he is awestruck. I can totally see he and Maddie piling up on the living room sofa after they’ve put Jee-Yun to bed to watch The Bachelor. There’s a funny moment where the other contestants flirt heavily with Eddie and Buck. Eddie tells them he’s taken but points to Buck and says that he is single. Buck tells them he has a rule about not dating people he meets on calls which is hilarious considering he nearly got fired in the first episode of the series for taking one of the firetrucks to a booty call with a woman he saved. 

Eddie and Buck breakout the jackhammer to cut away the piece of driveway Bailey is stuck to so she can be transported to the nearest hospital. Meanwhile, Chimney answers a FaceTime call from Maddie and Josh who want to know the identity of the latest bachelor. Chimney flips the camera around and tries to be sneaky about filming Joey, but he gets caught. He ducks behind the limo Bailey pulled up in and sees another woman passed out in the backseat. We learn this is the real Conchata and she has been chloroformed by Bailey. Speaking of Bailey, as she is loaded into the ambulance, she yells for Joey to visit her in prison. Yeah, I don’t think Joey Graziadei is going to be visiting you, Bailey.

“That night was the most fun I’ve had since getting struck by lightning.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

We next head over to Air Operations One which I’ve learned is a part of the Los Angeles Fire Department. Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.), our former 118 firefighter turned helicopter pilot, is giving Buck a tour of the unit. I got so excited seeing these two share a scene together because it’s no secret that Buck is my favorite character on the show, and I really like how they’re brought Tommy back into the show this season. Buck is in awe of everything Tommy’s telling him, but the latter believes he has ulterior motives for being there. He asks if Buck is thinking about changing career paths. Buck tells him that he really got a thrill flying in the middle of a hurricane to save Bobby and Athena. It’s the most fun he’s had since getting struck by lightning. 

Buck asks Tommy what got him into flying. Tommy tells him that he used to be a pilot in the Army. Buck lights up and tells Tommy that Eddie was in the Army, too. Tommy already knows this. Buck then tells Tommy that he met his ex (Taylor) responding to a helicopter crash and then realizes in that moment that maybe that was a sign of things to come. Tommy agrees that saving someone’s life and dating them never turns out the way you want it to. Upon second (and third) viewing of this episode, I find it interesting how the both of them are ambiguous about the genders of the people they are speaking about. Buck could’ve mentioned Taylor by name, but he chose to just say ex instead. Now back to the topic at hand, Buck says he isn’t sure if he’d want to leave where he is now to pursue being a pilot and Tommy assures him he can do both which seems to be the thesis of this episode. Tommy offers to teach Buck how to fly for fun. Buck offers to buy him a beer and Tommy says he’d love that. Again, how did I not pick up on the subtle flirtation the first time I saw this episode. These two’s chemistry is off the charts. 

However, our little meet cute is cut short when Eddie arrives. Eddie is surprised to see Buck there and asks Tommy if he got three tickets to the fight. Tommy says ‘no’ but he wishes he did. Here’s another thing I really liked about this scene. I’m sure, by now, Tommy knows that Buck goes by Buck but each time he addresses Buck he calls him ‘Evan’. I’ve always equated the characters on this show who refer to him as ‘Evan’ as having more of an intimate connection with him, i.e., Maddie his sister or Eddie his best friend. Anywho, Buck is surprised to learn that Tommy and Eddie have tickets to a big fight in Vegas and they’re taking one of the helicopters there. Now I have a question. If Buck wasn’t allowed to drive the firetruck to his hookups back in season one, how is Tommy flying to Vegas with Eddie in one of the LAFD choppers okay? Also, I didn’t know helicopters could fly that great of a distance. Anyway, Tommy and Eddie leave to board the helicopter and our poor Buck is left behind feeling both a little confused and a lot jealous.

“It is so good to have you back.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Speaking of surprises, Athena does not sleep with her hair wrapped. No shade, but no Black woman I know is going to lay her head down at night without doing something to protect her hair. Okay, I’m gonna leave Athena alone because she is thrilled to have her son back home. Yes, you read that right. Harry Grant is back home but he looks a bit different. The character is now aged up played by a new actor – Elijah M. Cooper. Now, in case you forgot, Harry went to live with his dad in Florida back in season five and we really haven’t seen him since then. When Athena says she can’t believe Michael didn’t say anything about Harry coming to visit. Harry tells her his dad has been really busy and had to fly back to Haiti. Bobby is immediately suspicious of this because he figures that Michael would’ve called about something like this. Athena doesn’t seem to concerned about any of this and is basically just happy to have her youngest back under her roof. 

“I saved a baby in a pipe once although it was a preemie and it didn’t speak.” – Evan Buckley, to everyone

Meanwhile, Buck, Eddie, and Ravi (played by Anirudh Pisharody) respond to an emergency at a restaurant where the dishwasher (played by Jibre Hordges) claims he hears a voice coming from inside the sink. Ravi doesn’t think it’s possible that someone could be trapped inside a drain but Buck reminds him of the time he pulled a newborn out of a sewer pipe. The firefighters do finally hear someone yelling for help and the restaurant manager (played by Cesili Williams) shows them footage of a motorcyclist being struck by a car and knocked into a storm drain. 

Buck, Eddie, and Ravi head outside and Ravi, being the newest member of the 118, is lowered down into a manhole to extract the poor guy. During this time, Buck grills Eddie about his outing with Tommy. He learns that in addition to going to Vegas, Tommy is also teaching Eddie the Muay Thai style of boxing and they’ve even worked on Eddie’s Chevelle together. Buck does his best to hide his jealously, but he can’t help pressing his best friend for more details. He asks Eddie when he plans on seeing Tommy again. Eddie tells him that Tommy has this karaoke/trivia thing he does on Wednesdays and asks Buck what his plans are for that day. Buck perks up and says his schedule is wide open. Eddie asks if he would watch Christopher for him. He would ask Marisol, but she’s already watched Christopher twice already. Yikes! So, a lot to unpack here. First, is Eddie using his girlfriend as childcare? Second, does this mean Buck’s level of importance to Eddie has decreased now that Tommy and Marisol are in the picture. Lastly, is Eddie really that oblivious? I get wanting to have a new friend, especially one who you have a lot in common with, but he knows Buck, or rather he should know Buck, and him saying these things, even though Buck technically asked him for this information, is hurtful for Buck to here. This, I’ve noticed, is a continuing trend of certain characters getting upset whenever Buck does something wrong, but having little to no regard when it comes to his feelings. This isn’t the first time Eddie has done something like this and I have to believe that he really is oblivious because the alternative means that he’s doing these things because he’s trying to get his friend all riled up. Of course, Buck agrees to watch Christopher because of course he’s going to watch Christopher. 

“Is it circled with a heart around it?” – Maddie Buckley, to Evan Buckley. 

A few days later, Buck updates Maddie on Eddie’s new friendship with Tommy. Buck is so jealous of the new friendship that he’s gathering intel from Christopher. Although Buck is being a little bit extra about all of this, a part of me can relate to the emotions he’s feeling. He worries that Tommy has made such an impression on not only Eddie but Christopher in such a short period of time. What I find fascinating is that while Buck is jealous, he harbors no ill-will towards Tommy.  In fact, he agrees with Eddie and Christopher. Tommy is cool. Buck tells his sister that Christopher would not stop talking about Tommy. Maddie wonders if it’s because Buck kept asking him questions about Tommy. Buck mentions that Eddie has a date written down on his calendar and it’s for a weekly pick-up basketball game with Tommy and other first responders. The date is circled. Buck mentions that Eddie has asked him to this before. Maddie reminds Buck that he doesn’t like basketball and he agrees and says that’s why he always tells Eddie ‘no’ but now Eddie is going with Tommy. Chimney hears the tail-end of their conversation and tells Maddie that Tommy flew Eddie to Vegas for a fight in a chopper. Chimney teases Buck by saying that Tommy’s so cool. 

“We have a problem.” – Bobby Nash, to Athena Grant

Back over at the Grant-Nash household, Bobby tells Athena he talked to Michael. Michael is not in Haiti, and he also had no clue Harry had left and come to Los Angeles which means Harry lied to the both of them. Athena wonders why Harry would lie, and Bobby says it’s because the police is looking for him. They showed up to Michael’s house while he was on the phone with Bobby. Bobby tells his wife that Harry got into a fight and assaulted someone. There’s now a warrant out for his arrest due to him fleeing the jurisdiction. Yikes! Poor Athena. You think you know your kids.

“That’s Jeremy. That’s my son, he’s a doctor.” – Dorothy Nelson, to Athena Grant

Maddie receives a call from an older woman named Dorothy Nelson who is reporting an intruder in her home. Maddie instructs her to stay calm and tells her to find a place to hide until the police get there. The woman panics and tells Maddie she has a gun. Maddie tells her that arming herself can only make the situation she’s in more dangerous. Dorothy starts screaming and then we hear a gunshot. 

Athena, Hen, and Chimney arrive on the scene and find a man dead in the Dorothy’s living room. Chimney tends to her and learns she recently sustained a fall in her garden. Athena looks around the room and sees a photo on the mantle above the fireplace. She realizes the man in the photo looks an awful lot like the dead man on the floor. Hen posits Dorothy has face blindness which means she wouldn’t have been able to recognize the guy even if she does know him. This emergency reminds me of a similar one on Lone Star where a kid locked himself in the bathroom because his dad thought he was an intruder.

Athena goes over to Dorothy (played by Meagen Fay) and asks her if she recognizes the man in the photo. She tells Athena that the man in the photo is her son, Jeremy, and he’s a doctor. So, this lady has killed her own son, and the sad part is, she still thinks that it’s an intruder she shot. This is beyond sad, and I felt so bad for her. I also feel bad for Athena who will have to be the one to tell her the truth. Hen asks her if she can imagine looking into her own child’s face and not even recognizing him. Athena says yes she can.

“That’s how they wake you up in jail for sleeping in. Except the water won’t be clean and it probably won’t be water.” Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Athena returns home and confronts her son. I did not like the way Harry was talking to his mom and I was wondering why Athena didn’t slap him across his lips. Then I realized, she already did this back in season 5 when Harry started mouthing off at her. Athena is extremely patient in this scene while Harry tells her about the incident involving him assaulting a man. The man, in question, is the manager of a convenience store. Apparently this man was following Harry around while he was inside the convenience store and accused Harry of stealing. The man wouldn’t let Harry leave and got aggressive with him which is why Harry hit him. Harry is upset because he believes she is taking law enforcement’s side over his much like he thinks she did when his father was pulled over several seasons ago. Athena reminds him she is a cop, and he counters by reminding her that he is still his mom. He asks her which one is more important to her but says he already knows the answer to that question. 

“Hey, what are you doing on Thursday?” – Evan Buckley, to Howard "Chimney" Han

Over at the 118, Buck is trying his best to get Eddie’s attention, but the latter is too wrapped up in his phone call with Tommy. Buck tries to impress by bench-pressing a lot of weight but he’s clearly struggling with isn’t too believable for me because have you seen Buck? The guy is a tank! Ravi asks him if he needs help and Buck declines. I wish Buck wasn’t so short-sighted because as much as he wants Eddie and Tommy to notice him, I think Ravi wants Buck to notice him. For him, I think, Buck is the cool one. Chimney brings Buck a package addressed to an M. Buckley which I found funny because either Buck doesn’t have his own Amazon Prime account or maybe he shares one with Eddie and didn’t want his friend knowing what he’s ordering. Turns out, the item Buck has ordered is a new basketball. When Buck sees Eddie again, he suggests that they can get a basketball hoop. Eddie barely acknowledges this before returning to his conversation. Yeah, I’m beginning to think Eddie is doing this on purpose. 

“He was shot when he was mistaken as an intruder.” – Athena Grant, to Dorothy Nelson

Athena puts her cutest outfit and goes to see Dorothy Nelson at the hospital. She rips off the Band-Aid and tells Dorothy her son is dead. When Dorothy asks what happens, Athena tells her that he was killed because he was mistaken as an intruder. I like how Athena delivered this news because it wasn’t accusatory. She lets Dorothy figure out the rest and the moment it dawns on her that she is the one who killed Jeremy she is rightfully devastated. Kudos to the actress playing Dorothy Nelson because she really sold this scene for me. This is the most devasting thing I’ve seen on this show since the story back in season 5 where two best friends were struck during the middle of a parade and one of them died. The scene ends and I’m left wondering what will become of this woman. I can’t imagine the pain she’ll have to live with knowing she killed her son. 

“So, I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” – Howard “Chimney” Han, to Evan Buckley

Buck convinces Chimney to go with him to the pick-up basketball game. Buck pretends to be surprised to see Eddie and Tommy there. Eddie asks Chimney how he managed to talk Buck into playing basketball because every time he asks him, he says ‘no’. Chimney decides to play coy and tells Eddie he has his ways. I love seeing Chimney being supportive of Buck because very soon they are going to be brothers-in-law. The two square off against Eddie and Tommy and the latter are dominating. Buck lets his jealousy get the better of him and trips Eddie up right as he’s about to make a lay-up. We hear something pop as Eddie falls to the ground. Chimney goes into paramedic mode and assesses Eddie’s injury. He thinks Eddie may have a fracture or sprain. Tommy says that Eddie rode with him, so he’ll be the one to take him to urgent care. Eddie gives Buck a hurt look and Buck immediately feels horrible. Tommy lifts Eddie up and takes him away. Chimney looks at Buck and says, “Well you bucked that up, didn’t you?” Geez, I really feel bad for Buck. He is spiraling!

“It seems unjust, but in reality that’s just the way it is.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

With a cooler head, Athena decides to talk to her son. He apologizes for how he spoke to her. He tells her he is not sorry for hitting the convenience store manager. Athena reminds him that he is not only representing himself and their family, but also his community, which means he can’t go around punching people. He tells her that’s a lot of pressure, but she says that’s the reality of the world they live in. She tells him has to be smarter and he asks her if that means he’s not allowed to be angry. Athena tells him it’s okay to be angry because at the end of the day, he’s a human and that’s what humans do – they get angry when they are upset. However, she reminds him that things could have been worst for him. What if the convenience store manager had a gun? Harry asks her what would have been the right thing for him to do in the situation and I like that Athena admits she doesn’t know. At the end of the day, you have to do whatever you have to do to make it home alive. That’s sentiment is so sad to me but as a Black man living in America, in the South to be specific, I totally get it. It’s not fair but it is what it is. 

Athena shows him the footage of what happened at the convenience store. Harry watches as the manager confronts him and even gets aggressive. He also sees himself punch the man. It’s sobering for him to see this video. He says it’s like watching someone else. Athena tells him that everyone has something they’ve done that they aren’t proud of (you hear that Buck?) but the true test of character is being able to face the consequences of one’s actions. Harry tells her he doesn’t know what to do and she tells him they’ll figure it out together. Whatever happens, she will be right there with him because he is her son, and she loves him no matter what.

“I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.” – Evan Buckley, to Maddie Buckley. 

Buck brings Maddie lunch at the dispatch center and catches her up on what happened with Eddie.  She asks Buck how Eddie is feeling, and he tells her he doesn’t know because he hasn’t talked to him. Maddie is surprised to hear this considering Buck and Eddie are so close. Buck tells her he doesn’t think Eddie wants to hear from him since he’s the one who hurt him. Maddie says it’s an accident, but Buck tells her he was pissed about Eddie and Tommy hanging out so much that he allowed his jealousy to get the better of him. He’s the reason why Eddie got injured. Buck says he was only trying to get his attention. Maddie tells him that is not the way to get someone’s attention. When I first watched this scene, I thought Maddie was going a little overboard with her disapproval of what Buck did. Then I realized, violence is how her husband Doug would get her attention back when they were married. Buck tells her he feels awful for what he did to Eddie, and she tells him not to do it again. 

She admits she knows how he feels because she had a similar situation with her best friend growing up. Her friend became friends with another girl and Maddie did everything she could, including dyeing her hair blonde and attempting to change her name, to get her friend to notice her. It never occurred to her that she could have still been friends with her friend even if her friend was friends with someone else. Maybe they could have all been friends. But Maddie was too jealous to realize this. The situation made her look desperate, and she would’ve been better off just explaining to her friend how she felt. 

“It’s good to see you Harry.” – Captain Elaine Maynard, to Harry Grant

Athena accompanies Harry to the police station, and they are met by Captain Elaine Maynard (played by Claudia Christian). The captain tells Athena and Harry she spoke with the Miami Dade Police Department, and they have no interest in extraditing for a misdemeanor assault. However, both jurisdictions recommended Harry remain in Los Angeles with Athena and complete 100 hours of community service. Harry is surprised he isn’t going to jail but Athena makes it known that him being under her watchful eye will be worse. 

“It’s not like I could ever replace you.” – Tommy Kinard, to Evan Buckley

Now, we’ve finally made it to my favorite scene of the episode. We head over to Buck’s loft. There’s a knock at the door and when he goes to check, he finds Tommy on his doorstep. Tommy asks if they can talk, and Buck invites himself inside. I love the subtle detail of Tommy being in awe of Buck’s loft. Buck offers him a drink and reminds him that he owes him a beer. Tommy declines and says he won’t be staying long. He tells Buck he wants to clear the air between the two of them and he didn’t want to do so over the phone or through a text message. Tommy calls him Evan and says it was never his intention to cause any bad blood between him and Eddie. Buck assures him there’s no bad blood and owns up to his bad behavior. He tells him that he and Eddie make perfect sense as friends. Tommy agrees and reminds Buck that Eddie can have more than one friend. 

Tommy says that he would never be able to replace him. He says that Christopher cannot shut up about Buck. I love the smile on Buck’s face when Tommy says this because it’s a reminder that Buck, seven seasons later, still craves the approval and the acceptance of those around him. Even Christopher. Buck asks Tommy if Eddie is mad at him. Tommy tells him Eddie is not mad at him. If anything, he feels bad (they both do) for excluding Buck. He tells Buck that he and Eddie hanging out was never about Buck, but Buck says that’s the problem. He admits he can get pretty jealous. I’m so proud of Buck for just owning everything in this scene. Lisa Rinna would be proud. 

Tommy admits that Buck isn’t the only one who’s been jealous. Buck is surprised to hear this. Tommy explains that he’s jealous of what’s become of the 118. When we were first introduced to Tommy, it was back during the ‘Begin’ episodes for Hen, Chimney, and Bobby. The 118 didn’t use to be the family it is now. In fact, the previous captain went out of his way to cultivate a highly toxic environment and it’s because of Chimney, Hen, and Bobby that the team is what it is today. It’s the reason why Buck and Eddie and Ravi were able to be accepted right away without having to be hazed by the other firefighters. Tommy admits he wishes he were a part of what the 118 has become and Buck reminds him that he is. He reminds Tommy of how he made fake mouth static at the fire chief during their daring mission to save Bobby and Athena. Tommy says he’s renowned for his fake mouth static, but Buck says it wasn’t very convincing. The banter between these two men is so cute I could actually explode. Buck tempers his teasing by reminding Tommy that he was willing to put his job on the line to help the rest of them out. That was the moment Buck realized that Tommy was cool and that he liked him. He tells Tommy that’s the reason he called him for the tour. It’s not because he’s thinking about leaving the 118; it’s because he wanted to get to know him. It’s Tommy’s turn to be surprised. Buck says things took a turn when Eddie arrive, but he understands why Tommy wants to hang with Eddie. It was so cute the way Buck gushes about how great Eddie is that he’s known Eddie is great since the first day he worked with him. Aww! At this point, I’m literally yelling at my TV.

“That was better than fake mouth static.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

The flirting is turned up to level 100 when Buck tells Tommy it’s his attention he’s been trying to get and frankly he’s exhausted. Again, Tommy is surprised to hear this. Buck reminds him that he maimed his best friend, and that Maddie told him there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Before Buck can even finish the statement, Tommy leans in and kisses him. There’s a brief hesitation in Buck, most likely because he is shocked, the Buck starts to kiss him back. This moment was beyond shocking to me and even now, three days later, I still have to watch the clip to remind myself that Tommy kissed Buck and Buck definitely kissed him back. I spent years thinking something like this would never happen and I’ve gone back and forth with Buddie shippers online telling them that Buck or Eddie coming out as anything other than straight was an impossibility. Yeah, maybe that was the case when 9-1-1 was on FOX but this is a new network baby and ABC said, let them boys kiss! And yes, it’s not Eddie and Buck that are kissing but in my opinion, this is an even better direction for the characters to go in. I’ve always believed that if either character were to come out as queer, it would be Buck. We’ve only seen Buck in relationships with women, but he’s always struck me as someone who is open to whatever experiences come his way. Perhaps this explains why he's always had difficulty in the relationships he’s pursued on the show. Eddie, on the other hand, is a lot more reserved than Buck and the writers are going to have to put in work to convince me he is anything other than a heterosexual man. I’m not saying it’s out the realm of possibility, but I think the writers did a good job getting us where we are now, and they’ll need to do the same for Eddie in the future should that be the direction they want to go in for that character. Also. bringing Tommy into the equation is a brilliant move on their part because rewatching those ‘Begin’ episodes, there are insinuations there that he may be gay or bisexual. 

Okay, back to the scene. The way Tommy is looking at Buck gives me all the feels. The way he’s looking at Buck tells me that if he didn’t have to leave for his shift, they would be going at it on Buck’s new sofa. I’m so happy this isn’t just a one-sided interest. After the kiss, Tommy asks Buck if he’s okay with the moment they just shared. Buck is looking every bit of the bewildered that’s a part of the title of this episode. He tells Tommy that the kiss was better than his fake mouth static. Tommy tells him he has a shift, but he wants to take Buck out on a proper date. Buck tells him he’s free and man is that statement layered. Free to go out. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to kiss anyone he wants to kiss. Tommy tells Buck he will come around on Saturday at eight to pick him up. Tommy goes to leave but before opens the door, he tells Buck to call Eddie. We end the scene with Buck looking the happiest he’s looked in a long time. 

This episode is hands down one of the best of the series and that’s just not recency bias. I feel that way about all the episodes we’ve gotten this season. 9-1-1 is firing on all cylinders at this point and things feel fresh and new again. The plot with Athena and Harry was perplexing at first but then I grew to like it by the end. I like that the show reminds us that Athena being a Black woman and a cop is controversial, especially in today’s climate, and I like that her kids aren’t afraid to call her out. I love seeing Athena reckon with both identities and how they relate to each other. I especially loved her conversation with Harry because it’s very reminiscent of conversations I’ve had with my own mom. Her telling Harry that it’s unfair that he has to always be on his best behavior but necessary rang so true to me. Athena has always known this, even before she had kids, yet she chooses to continue to work within a system that reinforces this kind of thinking. 

The storyline with Buck was also fun. It was a nice balance to the sadness of the story with the woman killing her son on accident. I like how Buck is never afraid to be vulnerable, even if it’s to his detriment. I hope we get a conversation between him and Eddie next episode because I love their friendship and I don’t want it to ever change, and something tells me Buck is going to lean heavy on his friendship with Eddie now that he might be dating Tommy. And I hope that Eddie continues to be supportive of his friend when he finds out the truth about his sexuality. I don’t think Eddie would have a problem with it. After all, Hen is an out and proud lesbian, and we also have Josh who is gay. I do know that some people do question the legitimacy of bisexual people but again, I don’t think Eddie will have a problem with whatever Buck labels himself as. Maybe we’ll even get a double date between Eddie, Marisol, Buck, and Tommy. That would be fun.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about Buck and Tommy. I think the show did a great job getting us to the moment where they shared a kiss this episode. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen this episode quite a few times and I’ve watched the scenes involving Buck and Tommy more than that. If you watch the scene where Buck is visiting Tommy, there’s so many little looks the two are giving each other. I think at that point that Buck is only infatuated but Tommy is clearly interested. Also, if you go back to the previous episode, at the end once everyone has been rescued, there’s a look Buck gives when he is telling Tommy goodbye. I love things like that and it’s proof to me that this isn’t just gaybaiting or queerbaiting. This is the show telling us that one of their beloved characters is queer and they have taken special care with letting us know that. I love how Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr. are invested in this story. In fact, the cast is supportive of Buck going in this direction. I’m so happy that the fans have this moment. It’s been so fun engaging with people online about this episode and while there are viewers who have and will balk at Buck being a queer character, I say screw those people. If a character’s sexuality can make you that upset, you clearly haven’t been watching the show and you’re not a fan.

Okay, this reaction has gone on way too long. I’ll say it one last time. I’m so happy Buck is bi!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Until next time …

[insanityclause]

EXCLUSIVE: Sigourney Weaver will make her West End stage debut as storm-creating sorcerer Prospero in The Tempest and Tom Hiddleston and Hayley Atwell will play sparring lovers Benedick and Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing when director Jamie Lloyd returns Shakespeare early this winter to the historic Theatre Royal Drury Lane, a landmark venue in Covent Garden owned by Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Weaver, star of Ridley Scott’s Alien movies and James Cameron’s Avatar epics, last starred in one of Will’s plays when she played Portia in a 1986 off-Broadway revival of The Merchant of Venice. 

As a sophomore at Stanford in 1979, she played Goneril in a traveling production of King Lear. 

The star once revealed that she pretended “I was doing Henry V the entire time” she was playing Ripley in Alien. “I thought, ‘Well, as a woman, I’ll never be cast as Henry V, so this is my Henry V,” Weaver told New York magazine in a 2012 interview. 

“Sigourney knows her Shakespeare, she knows theater, and I  could not be more excited that she has agreed to play this role,“ Lloyd told Deadline.

He also said that he’s “thrilled” that “my dear friends Tom and Hayley” are headlining the romantic comedy Much Ado About Nothing in his Jamie Lloyd Company Drury Lane Shakespeare season.

The first preview of The Tempest is December 7, and it runs through February 1.

The first Much Ado About Nothing preview is on February 10, and that runs until April 5.

Built in 1763, the Theatre Royal Drury Lane became a popular venue for performances of Shakespeare. David Garrick and the ancient thespian greats played the Bard’s work there.

Lloyd Webber and his LW Theatre company spent an estimated $77M on a superbly realized restoration of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane, and he’d noted several times that he wanted Shakespeare back at The Lane, as it’s affectionately known, because he fondly remembers at age 9 being taken to see Gielgud in The Tempest “and it clearly made an impression on him,” said Lloyd.

The two men formed a close bond when they worked together on the now-Broadway-bound Olivier Award-winning Sunset Boulevard starring an incandescent Nicole Scherzinger as Norma Desmond.

“Andrew told me the story about Gielgud snapping Prospero’s staff on the last night and announcing that The Lane would be lost to musicals forever,” the director said.

Oklahoma! and other shows had preceded The Tempest, and it was to be immediately followed by My Fair Lady and many other musicals since.

One day, unexpectedly, the composer and impresario told Lloyd ,”Look, I’ve always wanted Shakespeare back at Drury Lane.”

Lloyd was shown around the theatre, was open to exploring “all the possibilities” and felt excited to be the first company to bring Shakespeare back to The Lane.

It made sense that The Tempest needed to be the one that marked the return.

Lloyd told us that he had an epiphany one night that Sigourney Weaver playing Prospero would “create theatrical electricity.”

He fired off an email Weaver’s agent, who responded that it was unlikely that she’d want to engage because Weaver hadn’t performed Shakespeare in public for over 30 years, and the last time she was on a stage was when she did Christopher Durang’s Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike in NYC in 2012.

The very next morning, Lloyd continued, ”There was an email in my inbox with the subject, “Hello from Sigourney.” And she wrote me this amazing email — really passionate, excited email. We got on Zoom straight away, and we had an amazing, inspiring conversation. She’s such a lovely, witty person. So insightful. She’d read the play, especially from a perspective of a woman playing Prospero. And that really excited her and it made sense and illuminated the play in new ways. And so she’s coming to make her West End debut at Drury Lane playing Prospero in The Tempest.”

He added that he kept coming back to Weaver’s performances “in all those iconic movies — Ghostbusters, Gorillas in the Mist, Working Girl, all of them.” 

Lloyd went a little bit fanboy and told her that he’d seen “Alien more times than any other movie. And I just thought, ‘How amazing would it be to work with someone that you’ve admired since you were a kid?’ Oh, wow. And to bring her to London. And again, it just feels like such an event.” 

The director believes that Weaver’s “commanding presence, huge charisma and that amazing power” is perfect to play Prospero. And that she can “clearly get into the complexity of the role” of this person “with delusions of vengeance, this kind of ruthless revenge against the people that have sent her away, to learning about forgiveness and love and compassion. There’s a real journey in that, isn’t there? And there’s a real internal struggle. And we talked about how a shipwreck can become a new kind of hope. Can’t there? I mean, really, that’s my sort of key thinking about the entire season, is that I just want this to be a really joyful season. And both of the plays are about the hope of the future and not dwelling on the past, maybe,“ he said. 

Lloyd added that he felt “honored” that Weaver even responded to his email because he thought “it bode so well in terms of just a direct email straight away; it’s very personal. As we know, sometimes people kind of do things through their teams and managers. But actually, she knows what theater is, and she knows it’s about relationships.”

Lloyd’s well aware of that too. 

He goes way back with Hiddleston, even further with Atwell.

Back in early 2019, Lloyd directed a hauntingly sublime version of Harold Pinter’s Betrayal with Hiddleston, Zawe Ashton and Charlie Cox at the Harold Pinter Theatre. It quickly transferred to the Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre for a limited run, where it was nominated for four Tony Awards.

Lloyd has remained close to his cast ever since.

Similarly with Atwell, who he directed in Alexi Kaye Campbell’s 2011 play The Faith Machine at London’s Royal Court Theatre. They reunited two years later in a revival of Kaye’s The Pride, in which Atwell excelled, at the Trafalgar Studios. The drama was an early example of Lloyd’s then-nascent Jamie Lloyd Company, which at the time was in partnership with ATG Entertainment.

He added that it’s “very meaningful” in terms of the season for him to be working with “those two old collaborators, they’re Jamie  Lloyd Company alumni. And I think they’re both two of the finest of our generation, aren’t they? And they know each other well. So there’s an instant chemistry between the two of them, and I can’t wait to see what they come up with for Benedick and Beatrice.”

Lloyd’s enjoyed watching Hiddleston and Atwell on screens both big and small. He mentioned Hiddleston’s performance in The Night Manager — he’s in the midst of shooting its sequel — and the actor’s adventures playing Loki in the various levels of the Marvel Universe. “And he still comes home to the theatre whenever he can,” Lloyd marveled.

Atwell soared in the Marvel Universe as well, plus she has been starring with Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning, Part One and its follow-up Mission: Impossible 8. She was remarkable in a a revival of Rosmersholm, directed by Ian Rickson at the Duke of York’s in 2019, the year before she played Isabel for director Josie Rourke in Measure for Measure at the Donmar Warehouse. 

“So she’s the real deal,” Lloyd declared. “Both are, and they’re also both very witty people. … They’ve got this great intelligence, this great wit,” Lloyd observed, perfect qualities for Much Ado About Nothing, which he called “a joyful play.”

Although he complained that he has seen it played a touch too “broad.”

He said that it doesn’t need to be played at a “slapstick pace” to be fun. “The language in its own right is funny. I think they’ll be amazing sparring partners but also hint at that kind of tenderness under the surface.”

Both productions of The Tempest and Much Ado About Nothing will be stripped back, and he will ponder with frequent collaborator Soutra  Gilmour on how the shows will look and feel. 

There’s a shipwreck in The Tempest, but Lloyd won’t reveal whether he’s tempted or not to place one on the Drury Lane’s boards.

However, unlike his Sunset Boulevard and Romeo and Juliet productions, he won’t be using video as part of the performance for the Drury Lane shows.

“They’ll be stripped down, but no video. I’m saving all the video energy for Sunset Boulevard on Broadway,” he explained.

The two Shakespeares will run between Disney’s Frozen, which closes September 8, and musical Hercules, which begins performances in summer 2025.

“That’s why the Shakespeare season is a strictly limited total of 16 weeks,” said Lloyd. He added that there have been no discussions about the plays being captured by the National Theatre’s NT Live cameras, nor has there been talk of transferring to Broadway. 

“I always just make something for the theatre in which it’s meant to be performed, and then we see the after that,” Lloyd said during a conversation at the Jamie Lloyd Company offices located in a wing of Somerset House on the Strand, literally a stone’s throw from the Drury Lane.

We first touched base about the possibility of Shakespeare at Drury Lane late last year and have kept talking, on and off, since.

All kinds of names were bandied about by a few in the know. “Tom Hanks,” someone gleefully told me. Wrong Tom, old boy.

“Margot Robbie,” another boasted. 

“It’s so funny. I’ve heard these names, “ said Lloyd, “but no, not true. I mean, I would love to work with Margot Robbie on a play. I think she’s remarkable, isn’t she? And she came to see A Doll’s House that we did with Jessica Chastain. And that would be a dream come true to work with her.”

However, he revealed that he had spoken to Robbie “a couple of times” but “not” about Shakespeare.

“I think, as I say, one day, she’d like to explore the idea of doing a play, but let’s see what happens,” he cautioned.

Lloyd soon heads back to New York to begin rehearsals for Sunset Boulevard.

He and Weaver plan to meet up while he’s there to discuss her Prospero. He noted that the name won’t switch gender to Prospera as happened with Julie Taymor’s 2010 film of The Tempest, where the revengeful noble magician was played by Helen Mirren.

“It will remain Prospero,” Lloyd insisted.

Rehearsals for The Tempest will begin in London on October 28, “literally a week after we open Sunset on Broadway,” Lloyd said. 

His Jamie Lloyd Company will produce the season alone without the participation of ATG Entertainment.

The 16-week Shakespeare season will feature 25,000 tickets for £25 [US$32] and they’ll be “ring-fenced exclusively” for under-30s, key workers and those receiving government benefits. He said that he’s “well aware” that in the past wealthier folk who can afford to pay steeper prices have taken unfair advantage and gobbled up specially priced cheaper seats.

“These are good seats too,” he beamed. But they will introduce new methods to ensure the cheap seats go to the “right people.”

Working on The Tempest at Drury Lane will sort of complete a circle of coincidence for Weaver. 

She’ll be taking on a role last performed there by Gielgud.

Her first Broadway credit in 1975 was to work on a revival of W. Somerset Maugham’s The Constant Wife, starring Ingrid Bergman.

Weaver worked as an assistant stage manager and understudy.

The production was directed by John Gielgud.

[kencoded-kengirl]

OK IM GOING TO POST A HOT TAKE NOW!!! i think the sibs were actually perfectly capable of inheriting the company. and i think a lot of you guys give logan’s shitty rhetoric with regard to his children being unqualified, like, way more credit than it deserves.

“roman is a moron” “there is something wrong with roman” well, actually, no and no. if asgarov and matsson taught us anything it’s that roman is actually quite politically capable. also, he’s great at delegating and managing people (see jamie laird and even gerri). the second criticism also is literally just very thinly veiled homophobia, it’s genuine nonsense. it’s a reason for logan not to choose roman, not a reason why roman isn’t capable.

“kendall isn’t made for the world” or any variation of “kendall wouldn’t be good at the CEO job” is once again patently false. whenever kendall is tasked with managing waystar it is usually to great success. his alliance with stewy in lifeboats. living+. vaulter when he acquired it and when he gutted it. his friendship with naomi pierce which watered the ground for both PGN deals. there is little evidence that kendall would be fine if not great at CEO, and the fact that he’s “not a killer” is arguably a benefit and not a loss.

even something like “shiv being a woman is a minus” is just a complete lie. it is not a minus for a rich and palatable white woman to run a company like waystar. logan says this to her and then promptly spends the rest of the season begging her desperately to lend her estrogen to his cause, because PGN want a woman CEO, or because waystar is entrenched in a sexual abuse scandal! there is a solid patch of the show where roman and kendall’s favorite shot at shiv is to say that she’s only being considered because of her gender! after season 1 there is almost unanimous agreement that her womanhood is actually a plus.

it baffles me that some people take these criticisms for granted when logan is the father in the Watch These Kids Get Abused By Their Father! show. almost every “reason” he names for why his children can’t lead the company is just a tactic to belittle and hurt them. it is so fucking hurtful to label roman a freak because of his sexual preferences, just like it’s hurtful to say that kendall is incapable after he’s spent his whole life training to be capable, or to reduce siobhan to her sex. “well, the siblings are all incompetent, it never could have been them—” bullshit! the only person who told us that is the person who was determined to keep it from the second they started to want it!

[sylvies-chen]

ooooh the long awaited amsterdam episode!! let’s get right on into it folks, with…

TED LASSO 3.06 THOUGHTS

jamie and roy were really the shining stars of this episode to me on both the comedy front and the emotional front. they really were able to break through to each other in fun but kind ways and I love. I cannot stress that enough, LOVE. that jamie taught roy how to ride a bike. this sibling energy (or maybe something more if that’s your fancy) is everything to me

but you know who was an unsung hero of this episode too? DANI ROJAS. as always my baby had THE cutest contributions to the discussion and his lines got some very solid giggles from me

ok, now on to the tedbecca front…

so it was not at all what we expected. so what? are we gonna worry ourselves about this? HELL THE FUCK NO. like I’m sorry, it was a nice moment she had with that man but like… you want me to call tod on tedbecca over a man… whose name she never learned??? LAME. try again, cause that shit isn’t stopping me from my delusion nor is it worrying me

like sorry I’m just not over this so I’m gonna keep adding more— if they were trying to tell us that this guy was *it* for rebecca, in ANY way, they would have had her show even the faintest interest in seeing this man again. but nope! she was fine with leaving! some things can be beautiful being short-lived. they did their thing, and now they’re moving on.

rebecca singing to ted was also adorable and uh y’all we literally had ted fully admit to TEXTING HER TWELVE TIMES UNANSWERED?? that is simp behaviour if I ever saw it!! they’re still strong baby don’t even sweat it

now that I’ve got that off my chest… COLIN! GAY TRENT! THE LONG AWAITED CHAT!! Ooh my god this is so good I was so incredibly happy that they confirmed trent is gay and that they didn’t take the creepy route with it of him outing colin but instead said “oh a baby gay, as a seasoned gay let me just adopt him real quick” and proceeded to listen to his problems and offer real support and mentorship from one gay man to another. they found a space within each other to be who they truly are and I am so here for it. colin isn’t ashamed of who he is, he’s just conflicted about tmerging these two sides of his identity!

also the way he described it as an ache… an ache, y’all. I cried deep queer tears at that.

as for how this might play out with trent’s book though… remains to be seen I guess 👀

the pillow fight was adorable and I had been wanting to see that since the mention of it in season 1 but in terms of episode length, I feel like that whole storyline of deciding what to do could have been scrapped. a lot of the pacing issues with this episode could have been avoided that way, but I still liked it so idc

TED FINALLY GETTING A BREAKTHROUGH AND BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB THANK GOD

roy needs to realize that instead of thinking he doesn’t deserve keeley, to just shut that train of thought down and work to actually become a man keeley deserves. that’s it. that’s all. and it’s going to happen!

all in all, I do get why this episode could be quite polarizing and the pacing was very inconsistent but overall I quite enjoyed it!!

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: set during season 1 Roy and Jamie get into another fight after everyone else has gone home for the day. The fight turns physical with them tussling on the floor, only for things to take a sharp left turn into the two of them intimately touching each other. Roy takes Jamie home with him and shows him that trick with his hips that leaves Jamie gasping. S1 goes a bit different with Roy and Jamie falling irrevocably in love instead

Hehehehehe you got it 🫡

Christ Roy is such a prick, Jamie can’t even think about the fact he’s hot. He’s such a prick.

“Shove over I need that bottle.”

“Fuck off Roy.”

Roy shoves Jamie’s shoulder, they are the only ones there or else they’d be pulled apart by now. Jamie slaps Roy’s chest.

Roy Grabs Jamies shirt and drags him back outside, “we are fighting now.” Jamie stands there for a second, he shoves Roy. Christ that feels good.

It escalates until they are both on the ground. Jamie is under Roy but had a handful of his hair. Roy has a leg between Jamie’s. He presses Jamie down.

Jamie let’s out an accidental moan. Fuck. “Fuck.”

Roy freezes when that noise was so obvious. He looks into Jamie’s eyes for a second, then he slams into Jamie, god Jamie has never been kissed like this before.

Roy pulls away. “No. Come home with me. Now. Hurry up.”

He leaves Jamie there to pick himself up, Jamie refuses to admit how fast he takes off after Roy.

———

They slam into Roy’s house, Jamie shoves Roy into the wall just for Roy to flip them around a second later. He kisses Jamie for a while, it starts to soften.

Jamie bites Roy’s lip.

Roy smacks Jamie’s ass. Jamie refuses to acknowledge the squeak he makes. Roy smirks, he drags Jamie into his bedroom.

—

Who knew old man hips could move like that.

Jamie lays there sticky. They both knew they were clean, figured why bother with a condom. Jamie underestimated Roy’s possessive streak.

He’s got bite marks with marks. He has finger shaped bruises on his hips and those are something he’s going to be pressing into later.

Jamie sits up, he goes to throw his legs over the side of the bed but Roy’s hand on his thigh stops him.

“Stay. I’ll make us dinner later, we can talk.”

Jamie blinks that sure sounds like a date. He verbalizes this to Roy who just snorts. “Obviously. Clearly we are great together. You’re hot I’m hot. We are definitely doing this again.”

Oh shit.

Jamie really should play the lottery if he’s achieving childhood dreams like this.

“Oh mint okay.” He lays back down. He’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch Roy. Almost like he can read minds Roy throws an arm around Jamie’s waist and pulls him back against his chest. “Take a nap Tartt, I’m not done with you.”

Jamie smiles. Who knew Roy Kent would cuddle. He closes his eyes. He knows they’ll be a great pair, maybe all their hate was even love.

He knows it was on his end at least. He guesses he’ll find out about Roy’s opinions on the merger later.

[eggz505]

Okay. Lads. Jamie just put on their thinking cap and has an idea she wants to share. Hear me out here. I was re-watching Double Life, as one does, and I made a few connections.

1) This one is a stretch. But .Grian mentioned this "being his game. He can change the rules." And said something along the lines of a ritual of goathorns and amethyst. He could be referencing making a watcher like portal symbol whatever that thingy is called. The two L shapes with the dots making a portal shape. The L shapes would be the goat horns and the Amythest could be made into block that LOOK like they're portal blocks.

2) this is the better one. Grian spends, for the most part, The whole series OBSESSING over BigB and wanting to go against his own gimmick with the soulbonds to go after BigB (this is something I fawn over religiously. It has STUCK in my mind for AGES and I never knew why. Finally paying off oml) In the latest season, Secret Life BigB is doing the WEIRDEST things to the point people are theorizing that the watchers have recruited/shown great interest in BigB. This seems coincidental at face value but grian didnt just obsess over him as a bit, he spent the WHOLE SEASON being weirdly in love with BigB and BigB is spending this WHOLE SEASON doing weird things. Watcher level weird things. Ergo? I think Grian took a liking to BigB because of himself bring a Watcher which caused him to gravitate toward BigB, because BigB was either dormant as an already aligned Watcher, was newly recruited as a Watcher, or the Watchers first started to show interest in BigB in Double Life.

3) I just came up with this but in support of BigB being a Watcher I think the timeline really lines up. Double Life is the first time Grian obsesses over another player which struck me as uncanny. In Limited Life, the series that followed, what did BigB do? Watch. Other. Players. He was a nosey neighbour. PEARLESCENTMOON teamed with him that season. Pearl was there when Grian got recruited, what is BigB got recruited during Limited Life? He watched other players the whole season, he had a lookout tower, Grian gravitated towards him as an ally during the season. Now in Secret Life? Grian goes to see BigB EVERY. EPISODE. It is ritualistic. Like his "episodes wont be complete without seeing what weird things BigB is up to".

Okay. I am Jamie and I am taking off my tinfoil cone of a theory/thinking cap. I am fixated on the idea of BigB being with the watchers. I dont know if his intention is to REPLACE Grian or to have Grian be more involved in his Watcher duties/shenanigans, or if hes supposed to be like a trade offer from the watchers?? It could be that Grian liked BigB in double life and the watchers were like. :o "We could use that." But I am a sucker for the Life Series and the lore that other fans come up with. I am so shit at drawing but I can write like Alexander Hamilton, so let me know who wants more theories :D

TLDR: I think Grian made Watcher-esque references in Double Life. I think BigB has been a subject of Interest for the Watchers since Double Life. I think BigB was doing Watcher like things in Limited Life, either because he was recruited BY the Watchers in Limited Life, or in Double Life, or at the least he was being heavily influenced. I am a sucker for the Watcher!BigB headcanons fans are making. Thank you and good day. Jamie out.

[majorbaby]

some early and candid thoughts on MASH: The Comedy that Changed Television

I thought Gary Burghoff had the most illuminating commentary to offer. he was specific, technical and detailed when recounting how the show was constructed, a style of media commentary that caters to my preferences. he has one comment that really stuck with me as a strong descriptor of the Radar character (paraphrase from memory): they needed a character who was experiencing the concept of war for the first time, for whom you could see the

after Burghoff, I thought Jamie Farr had some interesting things to say re: Margaret - 'she contains multitudes' being one of them, and a recurring theme when everyone was speaking about the character

i have to talk about mike farrell's comment on anti-war vs. anti-military: i've talked about how I feel that the post-reynolds/gelbart years have heavily watered-down messaging re: war before, and i've pointed to several episodes where i feel this is obvious, but mike farrell saying (quite strongly) that he felt the show was anti-war but never anti-military is pretty damning evidence.

i mean, i think this is good characterization for BJ, to take a more, let's call it 'broadly', anti-war stance, rather than be opposed specifically to military, particularly to the US military. it fits with his aspirations to live a quiet, middle-class life, with his insistence that he's always done 'the right thing' and imo, a good motivation for him to butt heads with the more radical Hawkeye, who opposes authority figures in general (per Alan Alda himself in this same special) - which actually goes beyond the military...

so i love it for BJ but i hate it for a show that never framed him as being wrong about that idea specifically. i can't say for sure whether BJ always held Farrell's beliefs of course, or vice versa, but if BJ ever did oppose the military as a system, Farrell doesn't know it. this knowledge makes episodes like Preventative Medicine and Back Pay land even worse with me.

'some of us were IN the military' he added, as a justification for his point that the show could not have been anti-establishment which i would speak on even more candidly if i was going to make this unrebloggable lol. but truly it's not that serious except in terms of how i think about the themes of this show - he seems like a perfectly lovely person who really loved making MASH and i think his fans will enjoy watching him speak about that.

Mclean Stevenson makes a point about how what Radar anticipates about a character tells us something about that character beyond what we would receive if we just heard the character say it themselves (which they usually do, at the same time as Radar) - I need to think about this some more when re-watching those scenes...

dlfkjaljfk I've never heard David Ogden Stiers' natural voice I thought someone was giving commentary over footage of him and then i realized he was actually giving the commentary - I feel like everyone knows this, but he was immensely talented, a master of voice and speech

1 hour and 10 minutes (including ads, or 'commercial breaks' as we used to call them back in my day) spent on seasons 1-3. tbf there's character-specific commentary in the first half that is for characters that were with us for the whole run, but, there's also a lot of time devoted to talking about how the show was initially constructed, the pilot being good (correct), and something that made me smirk - Larry Gelbart's commentary on how people were incensed and outraged at Henry's death and felt they had been misled, lied to, about their funny haha, wholesome weeknight comedy (set in the Korean War???) is almost indistinguishable from how people talk about plots they don't like in media nowadays

it was good! i had fun!

[thisisperverse]

Aand that's a wrap on our summer of 69 challenge ⛱️ Some cool facts about it:

20 fanworks

1 fanart

19 fics

20 authors/artists

4 WIPs so even more fun to come

thousands of km/miles traveled

including 4 trips to Marbella (i wonder why)

countless cocktails 🍹

so much love!

and coolest fact: 100k+ words written total! If you want to know what they were all about, check the fics and their summaries below.

Want to join the fun? Find us at discord.gg/royjamie.

Play Like A Tartt by hopefulromance, jackhowad (T)

Jamie is sick and tired of homophobia in football and decides he can do something about it

sunshine warm, moonlight soft by asphodellic (E)

If asked, Roy will insist it’s the heat that drives him back into the house and not the way the sunlight is sinking into Jamie’s stupid floppy hair and glistening off his sweat slicked muscles. He’s Roy fucking Kent, and he’s never run away from a hot person in his life. If he was in his prime, he would already have Jamie bent in half in his bed upstairs, one hand over his mouth while he takes him apart, and that would be that.

Are We There Yet? by ABubblingCandle (G)

Train strikes derail Jamie's summer plans so he has to find another way to travel the length of the country. Good thing he has a coach that loves him so much and will drop everything to drive him on a 4 hour each way round trip ... what do you mean Roy said no?

swelter/shake by farewllyouth (E)

Roy approaches with a glass in each hand, slips off his slides and lowers himself to the edge of the pool. His feet dangle in the cool water as Jamie takes his drink, fingertips brushing. They don’t speak, sipping their drinks under the canopy stretched over the pool. Jamie finishes first, because Roy gave him a straw and too much ice, and his patience is in shorter supply. The sound of the distant waves off the beach reach them even through the trees surrounding the property. Roy leans back on his hands and takes a deep breath, head tilted back so he can get a good lungful of humid, salty sea air. “So you getting in, or what?”

be my summer boyfriend by BestDeadFriendsForever (E)

It’d been nine days since Roy landed in Marbella and it was somewhere around eleven when he limped out of his bedroom for a glass of water, his mouth cottony and head aching slightly, to see Jamie fucking Tartt standing in the middle of the kitchen in an unbuttoned linen shirt and one of the tiniest pair of swim shorts that Roy had ever seen. He had on a pair of sunnies despite being inside- though the floor to ceiling windows that made up the entire back wall lessened the prickishness a little- and his hair was falling across his forehead in a soft wave. “The fuck’re you doing here?” Roy demanded, feeling awkward at only being in a pair of socks and his boxer-briefs.

Questionable Summer Fashion Choices by ABubblingCandle (G)

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Roy didn’t even know what to think about what he had just walked in on. He had existed in football changing rooms are all long as he could remember and so had stumbled upon everything you could ever think of stumbling upon in a changing room. But this complete and utter affront to his sensibilities was something brand new and a full different tier of stupid. “Oh, hey Roy,” Keeley chirped up from where she was reclined in the corner on her phone. “What the fuck is he wearing?” Roy turned to Keeley to try and get an answer through the giggles of the assembled greyhounds. They were only buckets of popcorn away from this being a real show. “Um it’s called a shirt Roy,” Jamie scoffed, rolling his eyes as he spun round.

A Camping Trip with Phoebe by garlic_salt_is_superior (G)

Roy and Jamie take Phoebe on a camping trip during the off-season

Will You Be My Plus One (Now and Forever?) by Rayvynheart (T)

Five plus weddings over the course of his barely 12 weeks off? He honestly didn’t even know he knew that many single people. This does present an issue, though. There’s no way Jamie Tartt can be seen at a wedding without a plus one. He’s got a reputation to maintain, after all. Not to mention that now that he’s barely drinking, trying to get through a whole wedding and reception without someone there to help distract him sounds like torture. How’s he supposed to find dates to every single one?   Hmmmm I wonder how Jamie Tartt is going to solve this dilemma???

Family Beach Day by luvsbitca (G)

“Papa,” Georgina said. “Why is Daddy in your phone as Grandad?” “We never should have taught you to read.” Gee giggled. “You’re so silly.” Just fun, simple, sweet family day at the beach fluff.

Good Night, Sleep Tight by maskedwolves (E)

“What’re you doing?” Jamie asks as he complies with Roy’s silent command and hoists himself up onto the quartz countertop. Roy takes in Jamie’s tired, naked form - eye lids only half open, shoulders slightly slumped, soft cock as sleepy as the rest of him –and wonders how this perfect human chose him to spend his life with. “Getting my tired husband washed up for bed.” “I can get myself ready,” Jamie says with a sleepy smile, amused at Roy taking care of him like this. “Yes, but you don’t have to.”

Like Sand At The Beach by luvsbitca (E)

Jamie took his chance, why not, why shouldn’t it be him, why couldn’t it be him. Why couldn’t he be the person Roy wanted? He caught the corner of Roy’s mouth; his lips dry against Roy’s. he pressed there for a just a moment or two but then pulled away, catching Roy’s eyes when they opened again. Jamie realised a beat later that Roy had closed his eyes…Jamie had kissed him, and the other man had closed his eyes, his heart started thumping. He licked at his bottom lip and then pressed forward and leaned in again, catching Roy’s bottom lip.   Jamie and Roy have sex in Marbella...that is all. They are in love too!

wonderstruck (blushing all the way home) by bizarrebedtimestories (E)

There's a small velvet box sitting on the table where his breakfast should be. Behind it, there's a man, familiar and very beautiful, smiling shyly at him. Roy doesn't have a clue what's going on. "Yes?" "This—" The man nudges the box forward with a few of his fingers. "—is for you." Roy pulls it towards him slowly, like someone preparing to diffuse a bomb. He hesitates, glancing up at the stranger once more before he tells himself to get over it, you fucking ninny! Roy opens the box. "Is this a fucking engagement ring?" Or the selkie!Jamie fic nobody asked for.

cruel summer (what doesn't kill me makes me want you more) by valdomarx (E)

Roy's knee is fucked, he's been dumped, and he's spending an awful lot of time on the couch. So he's doing great. It's just unfortunate that he can't turn on his TV without seeing Jamie fucking Tartt and his stupid reality show. And it's even more unfortunate that Jamie has his phone number. And for some reason, he keeps messaging him.

a body at rest by mixtapestar (E)

Roy shows Jamie how to relax on holiday.

only wanna be the one that i call baby by howdyrowdypartner (T)

“There’s a lot coming up,” Roy says, instead of all that. “With the manager position, and shit. I need some time to think about,” he gestures vaguely between them, “this.” Jamie nods, slowly, lips pursed together. “Alright,” he says again. Roy really hates that fucking word. “You ought to take a trip or something, Coach,” Jamie says, flopping back down onto the pillows, making no move to leave Roy’s bed despite the whole needing space thing. “Take a holiday before the season starts. Get your head on straight.” That - isn’t the worst idea Jamie’s ever had, really. --- Or, the seven days in which Roy loses his fucking mind, thanks to Jamie.

a carcass of a man, i belong inside his skin by NineWesternStars (M)

When he arrived, kicking up dust in his dark wine Aston, Jamie’s first thought was, this is what football’s greatest left for? He was decidedly unimpressed and told Roy as much, with one foot out of his luxury sports car and poised to drop into a forgotten pile of cowshit. Roy had given him a look of such loathing when Jamie used the bottom step of the farmhouse to scrape off his trainer. (Jamie is sent to Roy's farm for the summer, in hopes of becoming a better player.) ​

the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you by nightcabret (T)

“Tartt! I know you’re in there and we’re going to be fucking late-” Roy cuts off right as Jamie swings open the door. He looks pissed, but Jamie watches as he takes him in, his eyes widening and mouth gaping in a way that would be downright comical if Jamie wasn’t currently channeling most of his focus into standing up straight. “Woah. You look like shit.” “That’s fucking rude.” Jamie scoffs, right as he loses the fight against keeping his balance and sways forward.

keep a place for me by soofyahn (E)

Jamie glances at his blood-stained hoodie and frowns. At least the last time he confessed his love, he was wearing a suit. Turns out how they're dressed doesn’t matter much, in the end. The two of 'em might as well be wearing shirts that say ‘I’m with stupid’. Five accidental dates, or: four times Jamie makes an effort to dress for the occasion, and one time he doesn’t put nearly enough thought into what he wears.

[sgiandubh]

I was a former shipper, but I left everything related to Sam and Cait and my feelings were limited to Jamie and Claire

Really, all I hope is that Cait does not react indifferently and coldly to the end of the series

This would make me sadder than saying goodbye to the show

Because I know that Sam's commitment to the show has not changed from the beginning until now

It would sadden me to see Cait exalt her true feelings, hide them, and appear to us in an artificially coherent way.

Sorry, Any ambiguity in meaning is borne by the translation.

Dear Former Shipper Anon,

I know this might upset you, but I have to insist, because it's starting to (slow burn but bound to explode) irritate me: kindly write in your native language, instead of sending me asks written in fubar'd English. I had to read it four times in a row, on a damn busy and hectic day, and I am under no obligation to play Mrs. Graham, here, trying to guess what you mean.

Now you tell me if I understood properly: you were a shipper (so what?), then you jumped ship (so what?) and you redirected your affection for two living people (S&C) to two fictional characters (J&C) - again: so what?

You then proceed to tell us you really hope C would not act cold and/or indifferent after OL ends, because that would make you very sad. But sorry for immediately questioning your logic: why would you even care about C's reaction, assuming that what you don't give a flying duck about Those Two anymore and just love JAMMF and Beauchamp? And since you are (presumably) an adult, may I add that this pointless whining is most undignified: irrespective of Caitriona Mary Balfe's reaction to the end of OL, JAMMF and Beauchamp will still readily kiss and fornicate and say important (sometimes syrupy) things on screen every single time you play that Season 1 DVD. Conversely, in a galaxy far far away from Fraser's Ridge, S&C will carry on with their life. Together.

In fact, you are trying to make me diss on Balfe, with no objective reasons to be critical, in the given context. You knocked at the wrong door, Anon. This is never going to happen on this page and with this blogger. And I am sorry: the 'ambiguity' is not due to Google Translate at all, but only to your very poor attempt to stir shit and play the "S vs. C" card, over and over again.

These Two are in it up to their armpits. Together. Thus, I could not care less about your 'sadness' and will not comment further on your submission.

Get your act together, for Christ's sake, if you want me to take you seriously!

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

This is mesmerising. Thank you my lovely friend! It's not exactly the happy part yet of the loudest silence sequel but it's hopeful? maybe? (This is the post-series one. Not to be confused with the season 1 inspired version)

“How bad is it?” Jamie asked, his voice breaking. “Just fucking tell me, Roy. You’re the only one I can count on to just to tell me the fucking truth.”

Roy paused. Jamie’s words both hurt and touched him and he wanted to tell Jamie everything, but he’s barely been awake, Roy wasn’t sure if this was exactly the right time to do it, if he should wait until Jamie has some time to adjust to his injuries, some time to get used to the idea that his right leg was badly broken. Roy has had two weeks and he’s not sure he’s gotten used to it himself.

“Please,” Jamie begged, his voice hoarser currently than it was even earlier, the lack of use during the last two weeks becoming more evident with each word Jamie’s forced to speak.

“It’s bad,” Roy admitted. “It’ll take a lot of work, but you’ll be back out there on the pitch. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

It wasn’t said in an angry or accusing manner like it could have been. It was just a fact, same as if Jamie was saying what day of the week it was.

“Yes, I fucking can.”

“No. You fucking can’t, Roy,” Jamie said, voice now the strongest it’s sounded since he woke up, but the hoarseness still cut through Roy. ‘What did the doctor say?”

Where was the fucking doctor he thought. He shouldn’t have to be the one to tell Jamie his career might be over that he might never dribble a ball that he might never run that yeah he’ll probably walk without a limp but they couldn’t even guarantee that and they couldn’t give a time table of when he would even be able to put weight on his fucking leg again.

Jamie was humpy dumpty and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t guarantee he’d be put back together again.

Jamie looked at him expectantly, his grey eyes glassy but open for the first time in more than two weeks, and at that moment Roy was glad the doctor wasn’t there. He didn’t want Jamie to hear this from someone he didn’t know. He wanted Jamie to hear it from him if he had to hear anything at all.

It has to be me. It could be no one else.

“The doctor said he doesn’t know,” Roy said, and Jamie’s eyes searched him for answers. “They don’t know shit for all their fucking schooling. They couldn’t tell me anything. Your leg should heal, but they don’t know to what extent, if you’ll be able to play or at the same level you were at before. But he doesn’t know, but he doesn’t know because he doesn’t know you, not the same way I do. He doesn’t know what a stubborn prick you can be, what a hard worker you are, how far you’ve come, on and off the pitch. Your story doesn’t end here in this fucking hospital.”

Your story doesn’t end because of me.

He doesn’t say that part, but he means it. Maybe even means it the most. But Jamie doesn’t need his guilt on top of everything he’s already fighting through. Jamie’s saved Roy once, but he’s not going to make it so the lad has to save him again. No, this time, Roy is the one that will help Jamie, save him if he needs to. It’s the least he could do after all.

Jamie looked at him, and a small smile crept into his face, “You did make me better than Zava.”

“You made you better than Zava. I just got your arse out of bed for 4 am.”